I think I'm at my breaking point

[Aesop Rocks]

for a while now i've been having some very personal problems, and i really didn't want to make a thread to express those problems or really seek any help, but frankly im too afraid to ask for help. ever since the last shskype chat i was in with colossal spoons, manic and justabill; ive seen life in a different light and i had a really good idea of how to approach a small amount of happiness, today all of that changed.

i finally managed to go to bed at 2:30 pm, my mom woke me up for supper at 5 and it was a surprisingly happy mood for a change, as soon as i ate i went and layed back down. well im usually a deep sleeper and it takes a bit to wake me up, but i woke up instantly when i heard my mom let out a terrible, horrifying scream. i snapped out of bed to see what happened and she was in the kitchen. thinking it was about my grandma, i checked on her frst and she was fine. then i come to find out that my cousin was killed in a car crash. my cousin was literally my best friend, and basically became my older brother when my older brother committed suicide a few years ago. i really have no idea what to do or anything and i really dont know why i am post this, i guess its just venting or in some weird way me trying to think of something else. because without him, i literally have no idea what to do with my life

 

[Metamorpho1977]

Aesop, you aren't alone. I've been where you are. I know what it's like to lose a friend like that. My best friend was born exactly 2 months after I was. I was born on January 7, 1977 and he was born March 7. We grew up like brothers. Nothing happened that we didn't know happened to each other. In 2001, he was killed by a drunk driver. The best way to get past it is to only focus on the good things in our lives. I know now, you feel like the world is crashing in on you. That's just depression. Don't let depression define you.

 

[The Geek Vault]

Aesop. I can't fathom what you are going through, because I have never had this happen. All I can really say is that I am here for you if you need someone to talk to. and I can tell you that things will get better. A quote that I has always helped me in hard times is "By Endurance we conquer"- Ernest Shackleton. Hopefully it can also help you.

 

[E-Man]

It hurts to go through stuff like that, but keep your focus mentally. You can handle anything you want if you put your mind to it. You are what you think you are, even if it's your subconscious directing you to act a certain way. Tough times are definitely ahead, but know that you can conquer your major problems if you put in an intelligent effort to do so. You're not helpless, so never think that you are beyond helping yourself.

 

[The Apocalypse]

I really don't know what to tell you other then sorry. No one really close to me has ever passed away but I'm sure it's the worst kind of pain you can get. Just know that the people that passed away would never want you to be in such a saddened state. Of course things will be rough for a while but know that you will pull through it. I don't know you at all but feel free to drop a PM if you need to talk. Everyone should have someone that will listen to them but I think you should try talking to your mother.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Thanks everyone, really. I think I might actually already be starting to get over the fact that he's gone, he wouldn't have wanted me to dwell over this for the rest of my life and I for one don't want to. The news was hard to take last night, and after talking to my family's priest (at like 3:30 AM, I feel so bad for waking him up) last night, he told me that he was in a much better place than here, and to reflect on the good memories I've shared with me. Sure it's going to be hard to deal with, but I hope soon enough I'll be fine. Again, thanks everyone.

 

[Ahura Mazda]

My condolonces Aesop. I hope things get brighter as I am sure they will soon.

 

[Nivek]

I'm sorry man, losing someone like that is incredibly tough. But Honor them by moving on and not letting life hold you back. Anything you ever talked about doing together that you never got to do, do it now in respect to them. They will be there with you.

 

[david icke]

I am very sorry to read your terrible news, I can't imagine what you are going through. Condolencies to you and your family. Words fail me, but I will say that you always come across like a real good guy on the boards, and I hope you are as alright as can be.

 

[Bad Superman]

My condolonces Aesop. Losing a loved one is not easy and I hope you and the family find the consolation and strength to make it through this sad time. I offer my prayers for your loved ones. If you need to talk, PM me. Take care my friend.

 

[Marx]

I'm so sorry to hear about this Aesop...my thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[Majic Walrus]

I'm sorry too Aesop, it does suck. Even if we are internet people I think we all still care about you and we're all hoping good things for you.

 

[Sensi]

My heart goes out to you and your family. I do know how you feel and I am so sorry you are in pain. Mourn, cry, laugh and remember, he lives in your heart and memory.