Transformers Interesting Transformers review.


Apr 10, 2007
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July 8th, 2007.
By H.Miller. BB News times.

San Diego, Ca - This film has destroyed all there is to like about Transformers Generation one. It's like all of us that grew up in the 80's were hit by a meteor and burned a sudden death. Bastard Bay( Michael Bay-Director) "Transformed" a cool cartoon into a glorified war-like movie; Full of dumb jokes, Marines and idiotic government officials. He took the simple idea from the original toys and made a film that feels like you are watching the war in Iraq. The humans in this film are clueless, dumb and idiotic. The robots are flashy, huge and heavy. Nothing in this film feels like "Transformers". Except for the voice of Optimus Prime who was based on the original voice from the cartoons. This film was based on the Toys and the cartoon from the 80's..nothing else, that's why they got Peter Cullen to voice Optimus Prime again. If this film wasn't based on the cartoons, why would they use him for this film then? Obviously, the only thing in this film that screams G1 "Transformers" is his recognizable voice. That was the ONLY positive aspect of the film.

The film starts off, silly. there is absolutely no storyline. it's all action based, and warlike. it's like watching Saving private ryan, but with giant robots from mars. As in all Bastards Bay's films, there always guys in uniforms, running around talking dumb. Always heavy machinery, guns, military presence with planes and huge bases. it's all like saying, Look we are bad and we have guns. Sounds like BAD BOYS all over again. The film goes on with Bumblebee being a Camaro who then turns into a 60 foot tall robot, while the car is only 15 feet long. Where did all the insides of the robot come from? The voices of the autobots are horrid, but are meant to sound cool using Darth Vader like sounds. The movie felt more like an Xbox video game. And i'm sure kids who never head of transformers will love it!

Boy gets car, car turns into autobot. Boy gets caught in a military war. senseless battle in a downtown setting. Was that Megatron? I really don't know who that was..but they said his name was Megatron. Megatron was lame and useless..all of of the Decepticons..Starscream didn't do much but to fly around and shoot a few missiles. Do kids even know who Starscream is? The film felt like a britney spears music video. Yes, the film works at times, it works as a movie on itself, but not based on the Transformers Cartoon. It could have been called, "Giant Robots running around" and kids would love it. And yes, the movie looks cool, but it's not the Transformers that I know, personally. The movie is flashy, expensive and simple. Explosion around every corner, one liners all over the place and one cool idea that turned sour. All I ever knew about Transformers goes out the window with this film. The designs, the characters, the look, the feel. It's just not Transformers! it's Deformed muscle metal heads. Based on nothing but games like Halo or StarShip troopers. Yes, Bastard Bay made me watch this horrid film, and when it was all over I hear the Linkin Park soundtrack. That was the final insult. No "More than meet's the eye" music? I felt like BumbleBee was taking a piss on my head and saying. "You are a sucker for the 80's".

In the end, it was a horrid, mutated version of the original idea. A tactic by Hasbro to sell more toys. A sad event in the life of original fans. And with that, I say goodbye to Transformers.

The end.
shhesh!! its like my curmudgeon uncle reviewed the film while getting a filling or something....

I mean transformers was a cartoon based on a toy... gee that sounds deep already... and Michael bay slickedit up for live action. Seriously.. anything less and it would have been uber-hoaky for today'c cynical crowd...

I mean look at fantactic four and look at transformers... FF4 came off flat, generic and tired right from the starting gate... a comic book movie done by the numbers. (no offense to the FF4 fans, but it ain;t now X-men movie! ;P) At least TF had a slickness to it...
LOL this review is priceless.

I haven't seen the film yet, but even if I do see it and despise it, I don't quite think it will ruin my life in the way that the reviewer seems to have suffered.

I'll be honest, I'm a fanboy at heart - had all the G1 toys, watched the cartoons, etc - but it's only a movie. If it sucks, it sucks - life goes on!

It's funny reading reviews like this where the writer makes it feel like Bay has destroyed his childhood. FFS, he made a movie about some toys you used to play with ..... you didn't like it, grow up.

Wow, what a pathetic looser of a garbage fanboy. Apparently he's not a fan of things that are awesome.

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