Is it normal?

To me, a relationship is a steady amount of time with a partner of choice made mutally.
Steady amount of time, but not limited to just that person, one has to feel like there not being smothered. Must share time with friends and people you knew before the partner came along.
 
Honestly EML, it's definitely NOT normal. You've already missed some crucial years of dating time and sexual experiences. It will only become harder as you get older because you'll just get more nervous. Dating, even just casually, is a crucial part of development as a social human being.

Well THANKS! :cmad:

I agree though, there's a certain learning curve, which all should've probably learned by their 18th birthday.

In my case,everything except kissing and sex.

How old were you in those relationships?
 
Pickles why does it have to become harder when you get older. Wow, you miss teenager drama by not dating as a teenager, whooopity doo to that, like everyone needs it in there life. Let alone twenty somethign drama when dating. No one needs it now. Just ease yourself into the man or women you wish to become, and when dating be that person. Things should work out nicely and when they do, you treat that person like theres no other until death do you apart. Just be yourself, but you first must know who you are and fix your flaws.
 
Not at all. I'm an example of what you said about the learning deadline.

ah right, well me too, which is why I know this theory, all you can do is become more progressive, and maybe embarrass yourself a couple of times, **** it, it goes with the territory.
 
To be 20 years old and never been kissed or in a relationship?

Just curious...and bored.


I wouldn't give up hope . There is at least one person out there for everybody. The best thing you could do is be more sociable . The more you get out and surround yourself with people , the more you'll feel comfortable being around them . Then you should be able to get a girl you like into conversation and things could play out from there but do not seem desperate.
 
Symbiotica, do you live in the South?
Define relationship :huh:
ATP, while it might seem strange to you, I knew many many people like this in college. My friend John who just got engaged to be married was in a relationship for over three months and I knew he hadn't kissed his girlfriend yet. They still haven't sex yet, and won't until their wedding night.

Might seem backwards to you, and to me...well, it's certainly not my thang...but it's was all the rage at my College.
 
Pickles why does it have to become harder when you get older. Wow, you miss teenager drama by not dating as a teenager, whooopity doo to that, like everyone needs it in there life. Let alone twenty somethign drama when dating. No one needs it now. Just ease yourself into the man or women you wish to become, and when dating be that person. Things should work out nicely and when they do, you treat that person like theres no other until death do you apart. Just be yourself, but you first must know who you are and fix your flaws.

I think it will be harder for him because he said a main part of his problem is nervousness. The longer he goes without dating, the more difficult it will be to overcome his nerves. Maybe he'll do the opposite though, who knows.
 
ATP, while it might seem strange to you, I knew many many people like this in college. My friend John who just got engaged to be married was in a relationship for over three months and I knew he hadn't kissed his girlfriend yet. They still haven't sex yet, and won't until their wedding night.

Might seem backwards to you, and to me...well, it's certainly not my thang...but it's was all the rage at my College.

I can understand not engaging in sexual acts, but not kissing surprises me.
 
I can understand not engaging in sexual acts, but not kissing surprises me.
My second gf, I didn't wanna kiss. I actually didn't wanna be in the relationship but back then I didn't wanna say no. (She asked me out)
 
I can understand not engaging in sexual acts, but not kissing surprises me.
It surprised me too, especially considering how many times drinking games I've played that have ended with making out...at least with one or two of us. I became accustomed to it though, it's just a way of life down here...and I know plenty of guys, often times I think more guys than girls, who are very much into the whole chastity (which often includes making out/kissing) thing. My first girlfriend was, but she broke them fairly quickly. Again, just kind of a southern thing. I don't really get the logic behind it, but I try to.

Although I'll make this observation. I found it led to odd behavior. We had the Seinfeld *********ion betting pool freshman year, and the conservative Christian dropped out first. Then another once openly told me about how he insisted on sleeping naked, and felt everyone should...which seemed to me to be pent up sexuality. Another liked to brandish his penis at dudes...that was particularly weird. The common denominator was they all were chast.
 
Like others have indicated, this is relative. But if it's a situation you don't want to be in then you have to start making more of effort to get past the insecurities and put yourself in situations you wouldn't normally be comfortable in. Focus more on getting over that, then on being intimate.And don't worry so much about how nervous and inexperienced you are. Things are better when they happen organically.
 

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