The Dark Knight Joker's Sick Jokes

[batlovescatDC]

I would love The Joker to kill The Scarecrow in The Dark Knight. Walk up to him and spray him with "smilex" gas (or whatever it's gonna be called)... and then say "I'll be the one who passes gas around here!!!"

 

[7Hells]

^...no

 

[The Last Meatbag]

I just hope his jokes are in context (like the Smoking Kills one) and not actual jokes he just randomly tells (like the dead baby jokes posted). He should say something funny regarding the situation, not just randomly be like "so three guys walk into a bar...".

Meh, I'd like it if he said a three guys walk into a bar joke, to get Batman off guard or distracted or something

 

[7Hells]

Meh, I'd like it if he said a three guys walk into a bar joke, to get Batman off guard or distracted or something

Or at the moment we think our hero is beaten and Joker thinks he has won.

 

[Thespiralgoeson]

The reason for the last joke is... in the comics Joker drowns a bunch of babies and children in the Gotham River. If I'm remembering right, it was for an april fool's joke. Oh, yes, yes, yes... he did it right in front of Sarah Essen, right b4 he murdered her.

Not quite. Joker killed Sarah Essen on Christmas Eve, at the end of the No Man's Land story arc, and he actually ended up not killing any of the babies he had kidnapped. He killed Essen, and then surrendered himself.

 

[Matt.S99]

edit

 

[New Shh! user.]

Spoiler

this thread is wrong

 

[Matt.S99]

then dont come in here

 

[Mr. Superhero]

Spoiler

this thread is wrong

SPAM!

 

[weezerspider]

I just hope his jokes are in context (like the Smoking Kills one) and not actual jokes he just randomly tells (like the dead baby jokes posted). He should say something funny regarding the situation, not just randomly be like "so three guys walk into a bar...".

LOL. That would be sooooo lame if he just randomly, in the middle of fighting Bats, "so three guys walk in a bar". lol.

 

[ang_hulk]

joker-"batman,did you cry at you parents funeral?"
batman-as he strikes him dead in the chin-"yes"
joker-"good,cause I sure did,I mean,the richest guy in the world getting taken down in front of his son by some gothamite street thief,landing on top of his wife and them just bleeding into the street with no one to help,I laughed so hard I cried!"
batman-"how do you know about that?"
joker-"I dont I just thought of the funniest situation I could involving your mom and pop HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

batman starts slamming the joker,this time more brutal and with less precicsion then the many times before,joker looks bats dead in the eye

joker-"wow,that one must have really hit him" joker sprays batman with acid

joker-"o well,atleast I laughed!"



OI like this because its kind of an odd to a change burton shouldent have made and id love to see the audinces reaction and batman would hate it,feeling he was to easily read it also opens the door to there odd similirites and further relationship.

 

[MrSelfDestruct]

This is a great joke, but it requires some physical activity. Put a dollar between your chin and chest and say "Who am I?"

Christopher Reeve in a strip club.

 

[7Hells]

^Do you even know what this thread is about?

 

[batlovescatDC]

This is a great joke, but it requires some physical activity. Put a dollar between your chin and chest and say "Who am I?"

Christopher Reeve in a strip club.

That is so sick and inappropriate, I can not believe it. You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

 

[heypapajinx]

Joker: "what can i say bats, i forgot to take my pills today" *pitches Rachel off a building*

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harley: "but Mr. J!! you just said 'bring the grenades', you didn't say nuthin bout the pins!!".

oh and P.S., i love this thread. i think the baby killing jokes are hilarious!

 

[rubinator]

I love the joker he is wild

 

[Spider-Fan83]

I think, the "holy Bartender" joke from dogma (Jason Lee, was awesome in that scene) could work, for the joker, maybe not about a bartender, but the same idea, having him saying, a line like that, about someone being holy just before shooting them full of holes lol

 

[Spideyfan01]

(Joker stands over Rachel's body after putting a bullet in her chest)

Joker: Get the joke?

No response. She's dead.

Joker: *Sigh* Aww, tough crowd...

Funny, but it'd be better like this:

(Joker shoots Rachel, killing her)

Joker(to Batman):Get it, Batman?

Batman(grabing Joker): You monster!!!!!!!

Batman bashes Joker's face in

Joker(Barely concious): Tough crowd......

 

[KalMart]

INT. HOSPITAL BABY WARD - DAY

A proud new father looks through the picture window at his new child, held gently in the doctor's arms. Suddenly, the doctor drops the baby on its head, then picks it up and proceeds to violently twirl it around, to the horror of the father. The doctor whips the baby up in the air, bouncing it off the ceiling, then lets it fall back to the floor through his mockingly outstretched arms, as if he missed the catch. The father bursts his way through the door and heads towards the doctor, trembling and screaming with rage. The doctor holds up his hand in a 'just a minute' gesture, and lowers his sterility mask to reveal that he is, in fact, the Joker.

JOKER
Nothing to worry about, sir. Your baby was born dead.​

 

[MaskedManJRK]

I just hope his jokes are in context (like the Smoking Kills one) and not actual jokes he just randomly tells (like the dead baby jokes posted). He should say something funny regarding the situation, not just randomly be like "so three guys walk into a bar...".

Here's one that could work:

Batman is on a construction site, looking for The Joker. Suddenly, he hears The Joker from far away.

JOKER: Hey, Bats! Stop me if you heard this one before--this guy walks into a bar...

And suddenly a huge support beam on a crane is heading towards Batman. He ducks down to see The Joker operating the crane, randomly wearing a hard hat.

JOKER: Hey, you ruined the joke!

 

[Shedhut]

INT. HOSPITAL BABY WARD - DAY

A proud new father looks through the picture window at his new child, held gently in the doctor's arms. Suddenly, the doctor drops the baby on its head, then picks it up and proceeds to violently twirl it around, to the horror of the father. The doctor whips the baby up in the air, bouncing it off the ceiling, then let's it fall back to the floor through his mockingly outstretched arms, as if he missed the catch. The father bursts his way through the door and heads towards the doctor, trembling and screaming with rage. The doctor holds up his hand in a 'just a minute' gesture, and lowers his sterility mask to reveal that he is, in fact, the Joker.

JOKER
Nothing to worry about, sir. Your baby was born dead.
​

ooh, i knew that one, but it was more along the lines of "dont worry, the baby was dead already!"!

 

[The Last Meatbag]

a lot of these one's make no sense and have no real form of sick humor....

I would kinda just like to see him acting goofy or joke around while doing something like stabbing someone to death....something like the "ear" scene in Resivoir Dogs

 

[MaskedManJRK]

a lot of these one's make no sense and have no real form of sick humor....

I would kinda just like to see him acting goofy or joke around while doing something like stabbing someone to death....something like the "ear" scene in Resivoir Dogs

It would be funny if he was torturing someone he starting singing to himself "stuck in the middle with you..." t:

 

[MaskedManJRK]

a lot of these one's make no sense and have no real form of sick humor....

I would kinda just like to see him acting goofy or joke around while doing something like stabbing someone to death....something like the "ear" scene in Resivoir Dogs

It would be funny if he was torturing someone he starting singing to himself "stuck in the middle with you..." t:

 

[7Hells]

No sadistic baby jokes!!
Too disturbing for a movie that wont even have sex scenes because its so pg.