The Dark Knight Joker's Sick Jokes

[Shedhut]

It would be funny if he was torturing someone he starting singing to himself "stuck in the middle with you..." t:

what about "singing in the rain"?

 

[titan101]

No sadistic baby jokes!!
Too disturbing for a movie that wont even have sex scenes because its so pg.

dude pg - 13 doesn't mean " pg " . if star wars episode three had a bunch of disturbing violent images and still get a pg - 13 rating i'm sure the dark knight can.

 

[7Hells]

SW3 had disturbing images?

 

[titan101]

SW3 had disturbing images?

children's corpses , anakin being nearly burnt to a crisp , palpatine getting electrocuted ...... how can you say there WEREN'T any disturbing images ?

 

[7Hells]

Because they didnt disturb me.

 

[titan101]

Because they didnt disturb me.

well that's you. the reason they rated it PG - 13 was because it had , and i quote :




"sci-fi violence and some intense images".

 

[7Hells]

Well I still wouldnt consider some of the baby jokes in this thread to be pg or pg 13 so not sure what youre getting at.

 

[titan101]

Well I still wouldnt consider some of the baby jokes in this thread to be pg or pg 13 so not sure what youre getting at.

who says nolan and the others can't push the MPAA'S limits ?

 

[The Last Meatbag]

I think a lot of the baby jokes are just stupid.....no to those

Yes to torturing and murdering while joking

 

[titan101]

edit

 

[7Hells]

who says nolan and the others can't push the MPAA'S limits ?

You seem to be under the impression I want a pg Batman film.
I dont consider the comics to be for children and I want the films to reflect that though I know they wont.

 

[MaskedManJRK]

what about "singing in the rain"?

Nah--"Smile, Darn Ya, Smile." t:

 

[7Hells]

"Its not easy being green" ?

 

[KalMart]

EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT

Two policemen are sitting in their squad car, drinking coffee. There is a light TAP on the passenger side window. The cop in the passenger side rolls down the window and sees a tall, lean man in a trenchcoat with a fedora pulled down over his eyes.

MAN
What's black and white and red all over?​

Both cops stare in confusion. The man holds up a newspaper, with a headline that reads "JOKER STRIKES AGAIN". As the cops continue to stare, there is a thunderous BOOM, as the man unloads both barrels of a sawed-off shotgun from behind the newspaper, ripping the two cops to shreds. The man raises his head to reveal that it is the Joker beneath the fedeora.

JOKER
Get it?..................................​

 

[The Last Meatbag]

Now that's a better one

 

[Bat Brain]

EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT

Two policemen are sitting in their squad car, drinking coffee. There is a light TAP on the passenger side window. The cop in the passenger side rolls down the window and sees a tall, lean man in a trenchcoat with a fedora pulled down over his eyes.

MAN
What's black and white and red all over?​

Both cops stare in confusion. The man holds up a newspaper, with a headline that reads "JOKER STRIKES AGAIN". As the cops continue to stare, there is a thunderous BOOM, as the man unloads both barrels of a sawed-off shotgun from behind the newspaper, ripping the two cops to shreds. The man raises his head to reveal that it is the Joker beneath the fedeora.

JOKER
Get it?..................................​

Man, I love this. Ten times better than all those stupid dead baby jokes. Good job

 

[KalMart]

You people are twisted, man!

 

[NyteWing]

How about this:

Nighttime in the Narrows. Two large, tough men leave a bar and head down a dimly lit road. They come across a narrow alley.

One turns to the other and says "Wait up, I gotta take a piss." The other waits on the sidewalk, just around the corner, while his friend walks in. He hears his buddy unzip, and then the "stream." About five seconds later, he hears his friend yell and then a trash can fall.

He run around the corner to see a man look back at him, grinning ear to ear, and his buddy being held just above the ground with his throat slit. A knife is in the man's hand. He drops the knife, and begins walking towards him. "You know, public urination is illegal. Never a cop around when you need one, eh friend?" As he walks toward him, you see the purple suit and (slowly) the white face.

He pulls out a pistol and shoots the man at point blank range (man's a little too freaked out to move). He starts laughing (not maniacly, more a self-satisfied snicker) and puts his card in the dead man's pocket.

 

[KalMart]

Batman is searching through an abandoned warehouse for Joker, when the floorboards give way, causing Batman to fall into a rock-walled pit with a loud thud, knocking him unconcious. He is later awoken by a peculiar noise....like twine being stretched. He looks up and sees an uncapped gasoline can, suspended by rope. Batman then spots Joker way up at the pit's opening, peering in.

Joker: It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told....
Batman: You diseased, psychotic...
Joker: It RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN....!
Batman: ...lousy son of a b...!
Joker: Ha-ha!...(lights his zippo)...I love that flick.

Joker lets the gasoline fall and spill, then drops the lit zippo into the pit.

 

[NyteWing]

Well, I'm really just hoping they make him a darker Joker than the first time around. I'll admit that the first Joker was pretty good, but that was for a different time. People weren't ready for a more realistic version back then. I mean, the scene where he kills the guy with a joybuzzer, then talks to his charred remains? I hope to not see that kind of stuff this time around. I want more of a Hannibal Lector sort - insanely smart, emphasis on insane.

 

[the norminator]

i like how the Joker was in the Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. What he did to Robin (sick IMHO)... and at the end of the movie what he said to Batman "If its a wimp'n that you want'n" man i could not stop laughing

 

[KalMart]

i like how the Joker was in the Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. What he did to Robin (sick IMHO)... and at the end of the movie what he said to Batman "If its a wimp'n that you want'n" man i could not stop laughing

What would those TAS characterizations have been without Conroy and Hamill? Unbelievable vocal performances throughout.

 

[batman7289]

these jokes rock

 

[darknight7]

That's hilarious! I don't know if they'll do this in the movie though. I can just imagine sitting in the theatre laughing while my girlfriend elbows me the ribs.

Me too...haha...

Oh wait...I don't have a girlfriend...

But I would still be laughing

--dk7

 

[darknight7]

This thread is genius...

You guys love the dead baby jokes eh? here's one for ya:

Spoiler

What do you call something that is red, silver and runs into walls. A baby with forks in it's eyes.

But I wouldn't want Joker saying that, just thought I would share that with you guys who love the baby jokes...

I think Joke should saaaaaaaaayyy... *to be continued* (damnit don't you hate it when they do that...

--dk7