• We experienced a brief downtime due to a Xenforo server configuration update. This was an attempt to limit bot traffic. They have rolled back and the site is now operating normally. Apologies for the inconvinience.

Letters From The Professor (Volume I)

The Professor

Jan 19, 2008
Reaction score
I used to wonder what it'd be like to lead a normal life, with a normal profession and normal children. Now I grovel and cry on my knees praying that such a life is still possible. This is my desire. This is my wish. My prayer.

Blossom Utonium, Bubbles Utonium, and Buttercup Utonium. My world. As you can notice, they lack middle names because I personally lack the creativity to provide them. My senses are dull. My mind has become weak. What has become of me since these children. Aren't children meant to be your light? Your pride and joy? Then why can't I feel these things? Why can't I feel anything anymore? Even the hand of faith, the touch of God himself seems to be slipping from me. Where will I go from here? Where can I go from here?

Perhaps if I had a proper wife, a proper family to keep my head straight. My wife, their mother. Maybe she could pull things together. Oh Maria, my love. We could have been together, we could experienced this miracle of life together. But without you, without your embrace...this miracle has become nothing short of a curse. Your father was wrong about me, dear Maria. He thought I was a hack, a joke, a crackpot. To think! And your mother? Ha! Nothing short of a ****e, my dear Maria. I suppose the apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree...

Just the other day I attempted to speak your name yet there we no words. Only screams and tears, and pain. The pain that I feel is unparalleled. I cannot even begin to describe, as I feel as if my attempts to describe such pain will be futile. Perhaps someday I will be able to put it into words.

Parents have children. Children leave the nest, they leave behind their teddy bears. Facts of life, indeed. A man of science knows the ways of nature, this is true. But my children have left the nest before I've even been able to nurture them. Every time they take off to fight, I fear it could be their last. Have they no idea what danger they are in? They have to business in the cold, outside world at their age! Jesus! Children! Babies! What madness has consumed this society, that encourages this behavior. It sickens me. What if something really was to happen to them? I'd never live it down. I think that really would be the last straw...The one thing to push me over the edge. "Utonium, you fool! Heartless!" That's what they'd say. And their fate would have nothing to do with me, but I know I'd be blamed. As the safety of the world is on their shoulders, their safety is on mine. The burden is simply too much for a man like me to bear.

And the Mayor? Jesus. Calling on them, encouraging them so. I never thought I'd vote Republican, but I'm hoping people come to their senses when it comes time for reelection.

Maybe I just need to get out more, find a good woman perhaps. But even something so simple seems so impossible. I see so much in Maria in every woman, but I know not every woman is a money grubbing, cynical ****e. Although I could be wrong, as a matter of fact I usually am. I think the good ones are in the arms of sensible men, but the world has left me with all the vermin.

What will become of me, I wonder. Will this get better? Will something wash over me and bring this cycle to an end? Only time will tell. Until next time...

The Professor
That's quite a smiley you've got there, hippy lol! :D

Not sure about the thread though :o
Wow. Someone's O.D.'d on the Cartoon Network.


Users who are viewing this thread

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Latest member
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"