Letters From The Professor (Volume II)

The Professor

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It's me again.

Want to hear a funny story? Yesterday I was shaving and I stared in the mirror for about five minutes before I realized that I was looking at myself. Somehow behind all the emotional scars and years of pain I was able to find my essence. Upon realizing that this abomination of a reflection was me, I vomited immediately and burst into tears. The girls attempted to check in on me, but I merely told them it was a side effect of long termed exposure to Chemical X. They bought it.

I met a girl today. We hit it off outside of the gas station, she told me about her dreams to be a singer and move to New York. She had a nice little hardbody and seemed truly interested in my work. Then she asked me to buy her cigarettes. She was 15. Why I didn't end it all then and there, I do not know. And you know what the worst part is? I bought them for her. I mean, I even paid for them! Jesus! I realize how pathetic I am.

I called up the girls' teacher, Miss Keen, to try to score a date. You know what she said. "Oh, Professor. I just don't know. I just don't know." By this time I'd already had a few drinks and was hitting the Jack pretty hard. "Listen, you harlot. You listen to me, ok? You listen good. I need this, alright? I need you in my life. I won't hurt you. This will be nothing like last time." She hung up. I'll call her later. Dear God, I hope she comes around. I know she might not be the hottest little number, but trust me, she has what the Professor needs.

I thought about ingesting some Chemical X tonight as well. I was curious to what it would do to me...Would I get superpowers? Skin rash? Would I become a leper? Instant death, perhaps? I would have opted for instant death. I also considered mixing it in my Long Island Ice Tea...But in the end I just stared at the cauldron of the stuff and wondered how long it would take me before I decided to drown myself in it's mystery.

No matter how I do it, I have to make it look like an accident. I'm a scientist, for crying out loud. I'd be too easy to make it look like an accident. I couldn't put the girls through it, though. Even if they would be better off without me...even though the entire world would be better off without me, I know that I lack the courage and fortitude to ever bring physical harm to myself or others. Emotional harm is another story.

Until next time,
The Professor
 
So...did you buy the 15 year old cigarettes? :huh:

jag
 
This is a big step down from Volume I. I am really disappointed in this entry. Please don't let it happen again.
 

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