Mix up movie captions

[The Hero]

Patton: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids!!!

 

[The Hero]

Andy: I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love...Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I-I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.

 

[Dr. Fate]

NINJA TURTLES: "Boards don't hit back."

 

[Dr. Fate]

HERMIONE: "What's come over you?"
RON: "You came all over me last night, remember?"

 

[Dr. Fate]

HE-MAN: "You wanna get nuts?! C'mon! Let's get nuts..."

 

[Jack Bauer]

"Hey, I finally downloaded the original Space Invaders. I'm talking quality 1981 graphics here."

 

[Dr. Fate]

"I haven't been ****ed like that since grade school."

 

[Dr. Fate]

CHIEF INSPECTOR FINCH: "Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Bat-Cave? I'm sitting there working and there she is. 'Oh hi Vic, come on in!'"

 

[Dr. Fate]

T.E. LAWRENCE: "9 companions... so be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!"
GUY ON LEFT: "Great! Where are we going?"

 

[Jack Bauer]

Superman: I don't like to fly.

Lois: Then what are you doing here?

Superman: I don't like to lose either.

 

[Zev]

T.E. Lawrence: I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too.

Man on left: I like you. You have balls. I like balls.

 

[Zev]

"Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'll rip your ****ing balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you ****, you'll **** all over your balls, got it?"

"What's your problem with me?"

"Yeah, you wanna go?"

 

[Zev]

"Your mother sucks ***** in hell."

 

[The Chairman]

JAKE: I bet you're the kind of person who *****s somebody in the ass and doesn't have the damn courtesy to give them a reacharound.

Not sure if it's the exact quote.

 

[Dr. Fate]

Patton: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids!!!

Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Bomb.

 

[Dr. Fate]

T.E. LAWRENCE: "From this day forward, all toilets in England shall be known as johns!"

 

[Jack Bauer]

Superman: I'm everyone - and no one. Everywhere - nowhere. Call me... Darkman.

 

[MaskedManJRK]

T.E. LAWRENCE: "From this day forward, all toilets in England shall be known as johns!"

Robin Hood: Men in Tights! up:

 

[wiegeabo]

"We are the Knights who say... NI."

 

[C.F. Kane]

T.E. LAWRENCE: We are so poor, we don't even have a language! Just a stupid accent!

 

[Jack Bauer]

"From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation."

 

[Dr. Fate]

Robin Hood: Men in Tights! up:

Correct. And thank you.

HERMIONE [possessed throaty voice]: You want this body...
RON: "Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked, huh?"
HERMIONE: Take me now... sub-creature...
RON: "We never talk anymore."

 

[Elijya]

"I haven't been ****ed like that since grade school."

oh come on, Fate, that's been done like six times with that pic already

 

[Elijya]

Bride: He's nothing but a low-down, double-dealing, backstabbing, larcenous perverted worm! Hanging's too good for him. Burning's too good for him! He should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!

 

[Elijya]

Duff: Wow, nothing for 18 years and then twice in one day.