My laptop won't start

So I woke up this morning and opened up my laptop. I had left it on all night (it was plugged in) and it was on ebay so I tried refreshing to see if I had won an auction. I got the "this program is not responding" for that IE window. I tried opening up my Adaware to see if I had spyware but it after a minute or two it still hadn't loaded. So I turned off my computer, a "hard reset" I guess is what it's called. When it was loading up windows it shut itself off and restarted itself, giving me a screen saying that the computer was unable to load blah blah select either "start normally" or start with the last known working settings and such. I think I chose to start with the last known working settings or whatever, and I got in, and wondered if my automatic updater for soem reason didn't download the latest windows security updates or some crap like that, so I went to the windows update center and whilst it was checking for the latest updates, my computer turned off and restarted itself again. It then wouldn't even load windows before turning itself off and restarting, giving me that same screen with the choice of how I want to start my computer and crap.What the fook is wrong with it

 

that's because it's not funny, yoda.Okay, so my comp says, right before it shuts itself off, something about a Boot.INI file. Also, NDETECT failed.I didn't really know what I was doing so I ran the hard drive self check and it said it passed. I ran something to try to find the boot.ini file but nothing could be found, so I ran chkdsk and it stopped at 50% with "Chkdsk volume contains one or more unrecoverable problems".Waht the fruck is wrong with my baby and what do i need to do to get it back

 

tell me more oh magical lackey

the thing is making a horrid noise now too

i don't want to have to take the stupid thing to best buy, but i did get suckered into the warranty there