Sequels New fan campaign ideas/let's decide it

Here the link, please let me know what you think about it!



Format is slightly off since I only posted here for fan viewing. You can google my name for creditability as a screenwriter.
 
Here the link, please let me know what you think about it!

http://www.nomakone.com/Xmenforth_right_By_JARRAN_DAVIS.pdf

Format is slightly off since I only posted here for fan viewing. You can google my name for creditability as a screenwriter.

Eh. I don't want to go attacking your work or anything... But for the most part I didn't see any originality of any kind.

You ripped more than one of the storylines right out of the old X-Men cartoon. Hell, you had entire scenes from that cartoon, almost word for word.

I thought the character development happened way too quickly. Characters completely changed their mindset and general stance in mere pages.

I also think that this script tries too hard to please everyone by reintroducing Cyke (with almost NO explanation), Prof. X, and even Jean into the primary fold. Cyke and Jean's returns were especially poor and really hurt the overall script.

Overall... it was just one big... eh? I think you need to scrap it and start over with your own ideas, rather than cramming together stuff they did on the animated series and adding a few new lines and twists.

But, I'm no expert, and I just wanted to provide some sort of semi-constructive criticism, so take it as you will.

Thanks for posting the link.
 
You ripped more than one of the storylines right out of the old X-Men cartoon. Hell, you had entire scenes from that cartoon, almost word for word.

Hahahaha... I thought the same thing... to be honest, I only read the first two pages and quickly lost interest... back to the drawing board, dun-dunny.
 
Thanks guys for looking at it. I might add you, what do you think hollywood does when they write a screenplay for a movie that has already been around for years, ie comic books and cartoons, they make a movie out of what has already been told and then twisted.

X3 was twisted and ripped from the comics, some as exact scenes ripped from comics. You might wanna look at FF4 the movie cartoon and see how close it comes to the real life movie and say something...

V for vendetta almost word for word from graphic novel, same with 300.

What i did is give a sequel to what was started on the franchise, to strive away from it is like starting 'batman begins' year after 'batman returns' came out. Think about it...
 
Strictly outta curiosity, dude, I don't mean any disrespect... why are you writing a screenplay for a new X-Men movie?? Just for fun?... or are you planning on sending it in to the studio?... or what? ...
 
I have to download Adobe to can read it, so when I do it, I'll post my opinon, Newton.
 
Well guys, the poll has ended, so here are the results.



POLL RESULTS

- Most wanted:

1. A 2 hours (or more) X4 (17 users)

2. Cyclops returning (14)

3. Josh Whedon as X4 director (12)

4. Nightcrawler's return (11)

5. Cyclops and Rogue as the main roles (11)

6. Josh Whedon for a 2 hours X4, with Cyclops and Rogue in the main roles and Nightcrawler returning (7)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------​



If any of the numbers is wrong, please say it.
 
Thanks guys for looking at it. I might add you, what do you think hollywood does when they write a screenplay for a movie that has already been around for years, ie comic books and cartoons, they make a movie out of what has already been told and then twisted.

X3 was twisted and ripped from the comics, some as exact scenes ripped from comics. You might wanna look at FF4 the movie cartoon and see how close it comes to the real life movie and say something...

V for vendetta almost word for word from graphic novel, same with 300.

What i did is give a sequel to what was started on the franchise, to strive away from it is like starting 'batman begins' year after 'batman returns' came out. Think about it...

I have. See, X3 came from the comics, because the X-Men are comics characters. V for Vendetta went straight from the comics to a movie. Fine.

See, these movies are direct adaptations (with some creative liberty) of the original source material.

You, on the other hand, based your screen play on a prior adaptation of the story...

So you basically adapted an adaptation of the comics.
 
Strictly outta curiosity, dude, I don't mean any disrespect... why are you writing a screenplay for a new X-Men movie?? Just for fun?... or are you planning on sending it in to the studio?... or what? ...


I wrote it a year ago almost. I'm going to send it to fox once i get representation.
 
I have. See, X3 came from the comics, because the X-Men are comics characters. V for Vendetta went straight from the comics to a movie. Fine.

See, these movies are direct adaptations (with some creative liberty) of the original source material.

You, on the other hand, based your screen play on a prior adaptation of the story...

So you basically adapted an adaptation of the comics.

X2 was taken from a comic that involved stryker

I did do alot of original work inside my screenplay, the why rogue receives her powers, the whole fight (intro) and dialogue with iceman, kitty, colossus.

For the most part it comes down to is people want movie told from the comics or its total own story with x-men characters. Cant please everyone.



Bringin alot of the stories together and twisted them does take skills.

Sounds good angamb
 
ONE WAY TO BRING CYKE BACK

X-4 should start with a Cyclops origin before the credits. 2 kids and parents board a plane. The plane takes off, then engine failure starts a fire. THe parents strap the kids in on parachutes then talks to them before pushing them out. Cyclops shute catches fire just before landing and he hits his head hard. He wakes up in an hospital, tries to open his eyes and lets go an optic blast. He closes his eyes and persons start gathering around him calling him "mutant" and hateful words threatening him.
The movie continues after the opening credits. It starts in the future (an alternate days of future past). The mutants are fighting battles against sentinels but have been losing for some time. We get to see a battle with the few remaining mutants against some sentinels.

Forge elsewhere in his lab taps into alternate timelines and sees that in one timeline one of the key battles was won with the leadership of Cyclops and it was that win that prevents the Sentinels from wiping out most of the mutants on the planet. In that alternate timeline, Jean never kills Cyclops, but incapacitates him until about a week after the battle where she dies at the hand of Wolverine. In that timeline, Cyclops is discovered to be alive. He goes on to lead the team to win in that key battle soon after.

Forge studying the battle, decides that rather than try to prevent the death of Cyclops at the hands of Jean in his past, thus unpredictably altering the future, instead send a group to that alternate timeline to recruit Cable, a natural leader in his own right, and born to Cyclops and Jean who had since been resurrected in that alternate timeline. Jean had died and returned to life. Cyclops and Jean in that alternate timeline gave birth to Cable who was sent to the future to be cared for due to a virus that had no cure in their timeline. Cable later gained the ability to time travel, so visited his parents in the past. The main reason Forge recruited Cable is for his experience in time travel.

Forges invents a machine to send the team to the alternate timeline to recruit Cable.

Cable in recruited from that alternate timeline and studies the battle, then is himself along with others sent into the past to intercede where Cyclops would been in that key battle against the Sentinels. (by the way, no Wolverine in the lead. He has also been killed by sentinels and we see his skeleton in a display in Forges lab). Before going into that past, Cable he recounts some of the experiences he had having met his father to an interested Forge wanting to know more about the legend, and while he talks about them, we witness flashback scenes with Cyclops and other original members such as Jean, Iceman, and Beast.

Cable is unable to sway the past and the battle still leads to defeat. Cable is brought back by Forge. The future has changed as a result of Cables influence on the battle but not for the better. Possibly that persons that did not die initially, died this time and the future is still in a bad shape. Cable studies the battle in the past again and they decide to send him back to try again. Again we get to see that his influence in the battle alters the future but not for the better. We get to see these 2 alternate versions of the battle and their alternate results.

Meanwhile in the present there are issues concerning the current team. Absent of course is Cyclops who is dead.

Xavier has resurfaced in another body and having problems with his powers and mental state of mind. Xavier has also received information secretly concerning a program to develop robots to fight mutants and we witness some of his methods of trying to obtain more information including using Kitty to steal blueprints for the machines.

It is then we are introduced to persons such as Gyrich and others and their agendas.

Xavier tries to prepare the team in Danger room sessions, but can see obvious shortcomings in Storms inexperience at leading a team and witnesses for the first time her claustrophobia during a danger room session. Storm does well during the session but Xavier clearly realizes the gap that Cyclops left and that the entire team, including Storm would need more training

Wolverine being a loner has abandoned the team for a while. He has taken off trying to deal with Jeans death as well. And wonders for a while for town to town.

Storm tries to lead the team, but is beginning to understand the difficulties with leadership and begins to appreciate and miss Cyclops more.

Rogues powers return, but are amplified by the x-gene having been shut down due to the cure and now altering to become stronger (kind of like a virus changing to become more resistant to medication). She develops other abilities as a result such as flight and strength. As a result of her inability to touch persons once again, her relationship becomes strained with iceman and they eventually break it off largely due to Rogues insecurity and jealousy at having seen Iceman and Kitty together skating.

A new recruit, seemingly shady and untrustworthy begins to show interest in Rogue, using his charm to begin to win her over. Gambit.

Angel gets used to the mansion and interacts with his new friends. He reconciles with his father who begins to appreciate and accept his mutancy.

Colossus feeling out of place and missing his homeland decides to head to the city to get away. Kitty feeling sorry for him decides to accompany him and they learn more about each other and become closer.

Cable arrives from the future along with some other surviving mutants from the future. He and Forge had decided that the only way to alter the future for the better might be to prevent Cyclops death at the hand of Jean. He has arrived too late based on miscalculations and the inability of his machine to calculate its arrival date precisely. Their arrival is perceived as hostile as an after effect of time travel causes damage to the mansion. A battle ensues and Angel, Beast, Wolverine who had recently arrived, Kitty, Colossus, Iceman, and others (we see glimpses of persons like Cannonball and younger recruits involved in the fight), fight against Cable and his team, (maybe Domino and any ones choice of others) with Cable trying to yell over them that they are friendly. A couple of the recruits are killed accidentally. Charles is unable to do much as he cannot control his powers in his new body. Having witnessed the deaths, Cable unable to stop the fight, uses his powers to freeze everyone. Realizing also he has arrived too late, and Cyclops is no where in site, he uses his time travel equipment to make a quick retreat this time arriving prior to Jean killing Cyclops.

Cable develops a plan and kidnaps Cyclops on his way to the lake after Cyclops puts up a fight against a seemingly hostile Cable and team. Cable uses his powers to convince Jean that Cyclops is killed by projecting the entire experience into her Jeans mind. Basically he creates the illusion of having killed him and she just recently resurrected is unable as yet to tell the difference. She still loses her mind as she did in X3 and the events occur as they did. Cable decides to hold Cyclops until after the battle in X3 has taken place so as to not have him influence that battle and the future. Cable (knowing this to be his father and wanting to be truthful with him after repeated attempts by Cyclops demanding to know what is going on) reluctantly tells Cyclops about Jeans fate at the hands of the Phoenix power and Wolverine and Cyclops tries to fight to free himself to go to her aid. Cable then tells of the future, the Sentinels, Forge and Cyclops place in history.

Cyclops after struggling with the entire situation decides that the world’s future is more important than saving Jean. But nothing Cable says can prevent Cyclops from wanting to witness the battle. Cyclops witnesses first hand the battle from hiding and the death of Jean. We see the battle from his eyes. We then see an emotional response as Cyclops seems unprepared and unable to deal with seeing her die a second time.

Scott during discussion questions Cable about his scars and metal attachments and this is when Cable discusses his virus. Scott makes some remark referring to mutancy and cures relating to events in X3. Cable mentions that in his alternate future, Jean is resurrected but cannot guarantee of course that this will happen in this timeline. Cable mentions that no one knows how she came back to life. History does not record the how.

Cable is cannot bring himself to mention that he is Scotts son, but during their last discussion before leaving for the future, mistakenly says a word that implies “father”. Having grown as comfortable with this Cyclops as his own dad in his alternate timeline, he lets slip the word “dad” or something. Cyclops starts to get suspicious, questioning to himself how Cable seems to know so much about him, but doesn’t ask. They part with a handshake or something and some choice words from Cable about Cyclops being the key to the future, how it has been an honor to have met the legend but unable to advise Cyclops as to when and how the battle goes and what happens as it may alter what happens. That only Cyclops would know what to do in the moment when it comes. Cable leaves.

Cyclops reintroduces himself after the battle. We see the excitement and happiness by the team at seeing Scott alive. He tries to hide what he knows from Xavier, but Xavier gets suspicious, but tries to give Scott the opportunity to tell him the truth rather than try to invade his mind. We then get to finally see the father, son relationship that exists between the teacher and his first student as they reminisce over the past. Statements such as “don’t you trust me”, and “remember when I first discovered you”, and “remember what it was like to first use your ruby quartz lens to control your powers”, “remember when Jean first came to us”, “Beast was really jealous when you and Jean first got together (they laugh at this)” and “remember when you and Jean discovered your psychic rapport” and other profound experiences that influenced Scotts development into the leader are mentioned by Xavier. He comments and jokes about how courageous Scott was in battle, but such a coward when it came to getting close to Jean. Scott laughs, then simmers down. Thinking for a while. Scott finally breaks and recounts what he was told by Cable. Xavier makes some choice words about always seeing Scott as a leader, and the best leader for his team.

Xavier calls the team for a meeting using his mind. He mentions a upcoming battle that may be the most important of their lives and Cyclops is now being put back in charge even over Xavier himself. Everyone is concerned and much confusion and many questions are asked as to when is this battle, against who, and why so important. Xavier advises that he cannot tell much but that they must be prepared.

Cyclops gives the first speech we have seen to the team in the movies. He talks of Xaviers dream and the reasons the team were created. But that most important is that they fight for all life, including for those who hate and fear them. He hopes eventually mutants will be left alone or even accepted. He inspires them as he always had in his speech. They are ready to follow him to death. Even Wolverine having made a joke about following a guy who has been dead for a week, admits to respecting him as the leader of the team. Storm officially welcomes Scott back and makes a joke about being relieved to not have the burdens of command. That it is easier to control hurricane in the middle of a desert.

Kitty makes a funny remark about not wanting to wake up that early danger room sessions after Cyclops announces the schedule.

With everyone leaving the meeting, Wolverine stops Cyclops and begins to tell him what happened with Jean. Cyclops stops him, this time in a friendly way, and basically assures Wolverine that he understands there was no other way.

We then see another danger room session with Cyclops calling the shots. The entire session runs smoother with the exception of Wolverine being Wolverine and not wanting to follow along at some point, but falling in eventually. The sessions involve more mechanical devices by design and have better special effects.

It is during one of the danger room sessions that the sentinels attack unexpectantly. We then get to see the battle, Cyclops calling the shots, using his ingenuity and saving the day by his leadership. We see great special effects with everyone fighting sentinels and finally the full strength of Cyclops optic blasts taking down rows of sentinels.

In the future, Cable leaves to his alternate timeline as he witnesses Forges world changing before his eyes. The future realigns itself and the world is a better place. But as a tragedy, Forge himself no longer exists. He died during the same battle as a younger mutant. We see him as a glimpse in the battle. He was seen previously in the film, but we never knew he was Forge.

Things move forward in the mansion. Colossus, Rogue and other appropriately powerful mutants are seen using their powers to put the mansion back together.

Xavier eventually gains control. We witness storm in the attic at peace in her garden creating miniature storms to water her garden. We witness couples like Colossus and Kitty and Rogue and Gambit enjoying a time out together.

Bobby playing around experimenting on creating an ice sled and slipping off and falling to the ground with other cameo mutants laughing in the background. The recruits killed during the battle between the x-men and Cables team are seen to be alive.

Beast and Angel and Xavier corresponding and Beast using words Angel doesn’t understand and asking for clarification.

Scott is by himself. Brooding as always. Looking depressed in his room alone. Xavier enters his room. Still waiting for Jean he asks. Scott says, did you read my mind. Xavier says I don’t have to read your mind to tell. The chuckle over that. Xavier comments on how proud he is of his first and best student. And to always have hope. Scott hears Jeans voice in his mind. Xavier apparently hears it as well. Scott looks over at Xavier instinctively as if waiting for instruction. Xavier says, for someone who is so courageous in battle, you sure are a coward when it comes to Jean.

Scott jumps up and runs out toward his bike. After leaving, Xavier looks worried, pondering over how this may have occurred and not being able to understand. Wolverine watches him as he rides away from inside. He makes some comment to himself about Scott deserving her, somehow sensing Jean is alive.

We see Scott arrive at the site of the original battle at the end of X3. He sees nothing at first, and begins to doubt himself and turn away as if to leave. Then suddenly she appears. They hug and kiss. No questions as to how this time. They don’t want to think about it, just savor the reunion and the moment.

We think that is the end.

Switch back to Kitty and Colossus, Rogue and Gambit out somewhere together. Gambit gets a call, excuses himself from the group. On the phone, there is a voice that says, “the first step is complete. I have brought her back, now I can experiment on them both. You know what to do.” The voice sounds SINISTER. X5.
 
^^^ Anybody actually read these long post? ... or am I just lazy or uninterested?

Mr. Cradle, not for nothing, I'm just gonna make a couple of comments on your script.

If or when they decide to do an X4, it will most likely be an entirely different story arc; not a continuation, as The Last Stand was the finale of a trilogy. Also, you wrote in returning characters that haven't even signed to stay on the project. If the producers want to bring Cyclops back (for example) and Marsden doesn't agree.. they'll leave him dead and move on... you can't keep him in if he's not involved. Finally, they are not focused on an X4 at this time, so no matter how good your script is I doubt they will take it seriously.

And to be honest, bro. What I read just wasn't very good. ...of course, that's just my opinion.

Basically, I respect your enthusiasm and dedication, but I fear you are wasting your time... just like this hue1 guy.

Peace.
 
Real cool guy, I appreciate ur feedback and yes Im know what to expect, I really dont push this script, it was only my first draft that I wrote last year in July. Reason being i dont really plan on writing new draft.

But dont be surprised if u see my original anti hero movie out in couple years.

Ang - i was referring to when u said u would read it.
 
A1ant posted this in his site:

http://xmenfilms.net/blog/2008/06/17/you-say-you-want-an-x-men-4/


I posted a comment there:


I think we all should send a unique letter.

Someone could elaborate a good letter asking for X4, and all the fans could sign in it, fans from all the countries, boards, fan sites, etc.

We all should unite.

This way, the campaign will have more impact, in my opinion. (although the letter is only one, each one of us can send it to Fox, so they’d recieve the same letter a thousand of times)



what do you think?
 
No. Fox would just **** up that too.
 
what I think is that we should let them know that we don't want 10 spin-offs for the next years....

well, at least not me.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Staff online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
200,560
Messages
21,760,177
Members
45,597
Latest member
Netizen95
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"