Not liking someone in the way they might like you

[Binker]

Has anyone experienced something like this, and could tell me what my brain is trying to tell me, or if I should make my own mind up?!

Okay, so theres this girl at my work; we talk, fool around a bit, we have each other's number, and she really likes me, even going as far as to say (only when I'm around) that I'm her bf and future husband (she already has a bf, but he wants to leave her for some stupid reason, and there's someone who came back into her life but they hardly talk from what I understand). This could be flirting, or just simply joking around, but what if it isn't and it's something more? What if it's like: she really likes me, and once her bf is out of the picture (he is a scumbag by what she has revealed to me), and would like to be with me because I'm better than him, for example? That's what it kinda feels like, and it might just be in my head (from my POV), but if it isn't, then there's this slight problem: I don't feel interested in her like she probably is to me if this is the case.

I mean it's not like I tried to see if I felt something for her in that way (it comes, but then it goes away y'know?), but I don't. I'm interested in certain girls, or had crushes on them, but not her. I wouldn't think of her in that way, or as one of the women I imagined myself being with. Maybe I don't know her better than I do, and maybe I should before passing judgment? But doesn't that feel like giving her a screen test if we were to, I don't know, hang out with her or something? I don't want to put her through that; especially if, again, either she's just fooling around and it's all in my head or she likes in that way but I'm not for her. Sadly, the only way would be to ask her, but I don't want to embrass her or myself once the cat is out of the bag.

I really don't know; has anyone ever went through this that could help me out in what it is, or what I should do?

 

[Kable24]

Explain what you mean by "fool around." I'm assuming you mean goofing around in a friend way, but...

 

[bullets]

I don't think you should go for it unless you have feelings for her. Also she still has a boyfriend so I'd have reservations about that.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Just go with what comes naturally and intuitively, don't feel pressured to "make a move" or anything like that. Boyfriends come and go, and maybe you'll be one of hers, or maybe not.

In any event, I assume you're a young guy, and learning how to talk naturally to women is a skill that requires constant sharpening and exercise, so even these interactions you are having with her are very valuable for you should you meet someone else outside of work maybe.

 

[Anita18]

She's with a boyfriend who wants to dump her, but for some reason she's still with him? Sorry, I don't look too highly on stupid people....

Then again I'm not a dude with a little dude down below rarin' for some attention.

 

[Binker]

Explain what you mean by "fool around." I'm assuming you mean goofing around in a friend way, but...

Yeah, goofing around. Like one time I was in this room we have for returns, and she came in to help out and joked around with me by saying "come on, hurry up and let's make babies!" lol



Or like recently, her birthday isn't until next month, and she joked around saying "You have to plan ahead!" So yeah, it must be a friend thing and nothing else. She even texts me to ask what's going on in my life, and see how I'm doing.

I don't think you should go for it unless you have feelings for her. Also she still has a boyfriend so I'd have reservations about that.

Just go with what comes naturally and intuitively, don't feel pressured to "make a move" or anything like that. Boyfriends come and go, and maybe you'll be one of hers, or maybe not.

In any event, I assume you're a young guy, and learning how to talk naturally to women is a skill that requires constant sharpening and exercise, so even these interactions you are having with her are very valuable for you should you meet someone else outside of work maybe.

26 is still young, huh? Anytime I mention my age, people are surprised because how I look is younger than what a 26 year old would probably be like.

But yeah, I'm not pressured by any means, I just didn't want to hurt her if she felt this way. Should I tell her, or shouldn't I?

 

[Pink Ranger]

26 is still young, huh? Anytime I mention my age, people are surprised because how I look is younger than what a 26 year old would probably be like.

But yeah, I'm not pressured by any means, I just didn't want to hurt her if she felt this way. Should I tell her, or shouldn't I?

Yep, 26 is very, very young. If you went to college, for instance, then you've really only been in the adult world for 4 years! Now pipe down and listen to this grizzled old veteran with adamantium bones ...

Best not to broach the discussion, and definitely do not feel guilty about "leading her on" or anything like that. Now, if you engage in intimate contact with her, that's less honourable, but verbal flirtation is fine. I think you know full well what "too far" looks like, so I won't bother mentioning it further.

Women do it all the time to men they have no interest in, just to practice and to prove to themselves that they can still do it. And not only do they not feel bad about it, there is an entire sub-industry of the entertainment sector that tells woman and girls that doing it is okay.

 

[Anita18]

26 is still technically young, but IMO still too old to deal with stupidity.

But yes, women do like to flirt with guys just to prove to themselves that they're still attractive. As long as it's just flirting, it's no harm, no foul. Might as well have some fun with her even if she's too immature/dumb for relationship material.

 

[The Squirrel]

I could go for some good flirting.

 

[Pink Ranger]

I could go for some good flirting.

How you doin'?

 

[CConn]

I wouldn't worry about it. People create their own problems by spending confusing and muddled messages and feelings. Whenever you act like that, someone's going to get screwed over eventually.

Just be precise, intelligent, and to the point on your end, and don't worry about nothing else.

 

[Asteroid-Man]

I'm gonna give you some advice that a wise man once told me: "Don't trust crazy *****es"

 

[Pink Ranger]

I'm gonna give you some advice that a wise man once told me: "Don't trust crazy *****es"

Yeah, that Lao Tzu was one deep brother.

 

[ellasmith]

Well, it happens at times. It's like in Johari's Window. Only that, it's about liking someone. They may like you because they see something good from you but you don't like them.