Official Nightavenger Thread

[Ghostrider87]

He won't. I gave him a full analysis, word per word of what he could do better and he disregarded it.[/quote

Give me another analysis. Except this time leave out the insults and the no offense. It is unnecessary and I get the feeling that you actually like making the statements and use no offense just as something so you can still say it.

 

[Ghostrider87]

I realize that I still have to improve on the writing, but it's really unnecessary for you to keep repeating it when I got the point.

 

[Machx72]

Well when you keep coming back and telling us we're wrong, we don't believe you've got the point. We believe you're being an immature child who's asking for advice then telling us our advice is bad.

 

[Ghostrider87]

Dear Harlekin please give me one analysis on the currunt biography. But I am going to ask that you don't put in remarks that have no offense in them.

Night Avenger
Real name: Jason Hairston
Identity: Publicly known
Occupation: (former) College disk jockey, Professional (professional) disk jockey.
Citizenship: U.S.A.
Place of birth: Chicago, Illinois
Known relatives: Melinda (mother), Paul (father)
Group affiliation: Known I can think for right now (now)
Education: College graduate ( broadcasting major), bachelor’s degree in broadcasting (complete)

Physical Characteristics
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 195
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Brown

(Powers: Superhuman strength, enhanced durability, Superhuman speed, energy blasts, command of shooting stars, flight.
Weapons: Star glider)


His parents Melinda and Paul raised Jason. Jason was very talented and skilled.
Jason was always one that wanted to work for something rather than just having it handed to him all the time. One of his greatest accomplishments was becoming a first-degree black belt in Taekwondo. His parents taught him about right and wrong. His parents told him that it is easy not to do the right thing and just take the easy path.

Before High School, most students respected and admired Jason. Then High School came with students accusing false accusations giving him a hard time and criticized him. One of the reasons of he was criticized because he usually always did the right thing and they wanted to seem unhappy most of the time.

He was taken advantage of and lied to. Jason always managed to find a way to pass the classes he was in even when it was not going well. Despite this other students still gave him a hard time criticize him along with not recognizing him and respecting him.

He refused to believe what other students said, thought, and continued to prove them wrong. Students criticized that he learned Martial Arts to beat people up and gain things. However, he never used it that way.

He went to the University of Chicago of Illinois where he was the official radio disk jockey all four years he attended. He still received a hard time, criticized, and accused false accusations. In college, he confronted a student about the false accusations. In addition, asked the person do they have evidence and when they bet money on the answer. They did not have evidence and did not bet money on the answer forcing them to admit they were wrong. He graduated from the University in 2002.


Jason then auditioned for a radio station and got the job after one audition. A week later Jason met Rita when she was a in guest studio discussing the Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, and baseball.




Three years later after their first meeting Jason was called the Radio station where he worked by Rita telling him that it was her and that she needed him to walk her home because her car was in the shop. Rita became a secretary at a law firm. Jason became a professional disk jockey on a radio station.


Jason was walking Rita home from work. Then heading towards her apartment Rita a gang member knocked Rita out. Jason trying to prevent any further harm took on all gang members with Taekwondo moves and wristlocks. He managed to get them to go away. But one gang member managed to sprain his ankle before Jason knocked him down with two punches. Jason fell unconscious after seeing the gang members run away very fast..

Two minutes later a shooting star hit Jason survived giving him powers making him more than a man. Ten minutes later Rita woke up after getting knocked out Rita took out her cell phone called 911 and asked for emergency emts while looking at Jason seeing he was unconscious. The emts took Jason to the hospital along with Rita. Rita waited by the hospital bed in a chair waiting for Jason to wake up. Rita fell asleep. It is morning and Rita has awoke again and then 10 minutes later Rita watched as Jason started to wake up the support systems were hit with energy from Jason’s hand. Rita was handed a newspaper and on the front page, Disk jockey defends female citizen and survives being hit by a shooting star. Jason what happened to you. I defended you from further harm my ankle was sprained by a gang member and passed out. Did you know a shooting star hit you? Thank god Rita hugs your alive Jason. He called in and told his boss that he would need time to recover from the incident and to find what happened to him.


Jason went to workout by running during his first day off and discovered that he was running faster than he ever did before that was the same, as some superheroes would have. He then discovered another one of his powers with the next by hitting the heavy punching bag what was holding it. He was stretching with his hands out and energy blasts came out of his hand. He did it again and discovered other ways to use the energy blasts with his hands. He played Mocap Boxing on of his favorite video games on the fourth day he was off at ESPN Zone. He noticed that after beating the game that he was not even tired or exhausted at all so he then ran from Wrigley Field to US Cellular Field and Sears Tower but still was not exhausted. He was starting to believe that the shooting star had given him powers. So decides to talk to Rita and tells her this. Rita is shocked and amazed what she hears. To conclude he went through tests and a human scanner which showed nonhuman traits and characteristics proving he was more than a man and revealed powers and weapons.

He continued to take time off to learn the other powers. Since the event of where he tried to protect Rita crime continued to rise and the rumor of a man with powers continued talk by other people. However, it did not stop criminals from continuing to commit crimes and the crime rate to rise higher.


He was not willing to become a hero at first. One of the reasons was that he was afraid that it makes people grow afraid of him especially Rita. He thought of it would be easier to forget his powers ever existed. However, the dream he had finally convinced him. He had a nightmare that had Rita murdered at her apartment. Jason woke up used his ultra speed to get to her and knocked on the door. He told her she was in danger and that she had to leave. Rita believed him and took her back to his apartment with ultra speed.

Jason told her about his powers. Rita was a little shocked but not afraid. Rita told Jason he could use his powers to protect the city. Both of them went to bed knowing about his powers.

During the few weeks Jason keeps stops small crimes such as grand theft, mugging, robbing, and assaults. When stopping these crimes he is once again exposed to his powers and starts to learn how to control them. After seeing a tragic murder it is then that he finds out that he must use his powers to protect the city and the people. He goes back home and come up his name and a costume.

 

[Machx72]

It's the same thing, just with more added on and some of the lines moved around.

 

[Duende Verde]

Dear Harlekin please give me one analysis on the currunt biography. But I am going to ask that you don't put in remarks that have no offense in them.

Night Avenger
Real name: Jason Hairston
Identity: Publicly known
Occupation: (former) College disk jockey, Professional (professional) disk jockey.
Citizenship: U.S.A.
Place of birth: Chicago, Illinois
Known relatives: Melinda (mother), Paul (father)
Group affiliation: Known I can think for right now (now)
Education: College graduate ( broadcasting major), bachelor’s degree in broadcasting (complete)

Physical Characteristics
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 195
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Brown

(Powers: Superhuman strength, enhanced durability, Superhuman speed, energy blasts, command of shooting stars, flight.
Weapons: Star glider)


His parents Melinda and Paul raised Jason. Jason was very talented and skilled.
Jason was always one that wanted to work for something rather than just having it handed to him all the time. One of his greatest accomplishments was becoming a first-degree black belt in Taekwondo. His parents taught him about right and wrong. His parents told him that it is easy not to do the right thing and just take the easy path.

Before High School, most students respected and admired Jason. Then High School came with students accusing false accusations giving him a hard time and criticized him. One of the reasons of he was criticized because he usually always did the right thing and they wanted to seem unhappy most of the time.

He was taken advantage of and lied to. Jason always managed to find a way to pass the classes he was in even when it was not going well. Despite this other students still gave him a hard time criticize him along with not recognizing him and respecting him.

He refused to believe what other students said, thought, and continued to prove them wrong. Students criticized that he learned Martial Arts to beat people up and gain things. However, he never used it that way.

He went to the University of Chicago of Illinois where he was the official radio disk jockey all four years he attended. He still received a hard time, criticized, and accused false accusations. In college, he confronted a student about the false accusations. In addition, asked the person do they have evidence and when they bet money on the answer. They did not have evidence and did not bet money on the answer forcing them to admit they were wrong. He graduated from the University in 2002.


Jason then auditioned for a radio station and got the job after one audition. A week later Jason met Rita when she was a in guest studio discussing the Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, and baseball.




Three years later after their first meeting Jason was called the Radio station where he worked by Rita telling him that it was her and that she needed him to walk her home because her car was in the shop. Rita became a secretary at a law firm. Jason became a professional disk jockey on a radio station.


Jason was walking Rita home from work. Then heading towards her apartment Rita a gang member knocked Rita out. Jason trying to prevent any further harm took on all gang members with Taekwondo moves and wristlocks. He managed to get them to go away. But one gang member managed to sprain his ankle before Jason knocked him down with two punches. Jason fell unconscious after seeing the gang members run away very fast..

Two minutes later a shooting star hit Jason survived giving him powers making him more than a man. Ten minutes later Rita woke up after getting knocked out Rita took out her cell phone called 911 and asked for emergency emts while looking at Jason seeing he was unconscious. The emts took Jason to the hospital along with Rita. Rita waited by the hospital bed in a chair waiting for Jason to wake up. Rita fell asleep. It is morning and Rita has awoke again and then 10 minutes later Rita watched as Jason started to wake up the support systems were hit with energy from Jason’s hand. Rita was handed a newspaper and on the front page, Disk jockey defends female citizen and survives being hit by a shooting star. Jason what happened to you. I defended you from further harm my ankle was sprained by a gang member and passed out. Did you know a shooting star hit you? Thank god Rita hugs your alive Jason. He called in and told his boss that he would need time to recover from the incident and to find what happened to him.


Jason went to workout by running during his first day off and discovered that he was running faster than he ever did before that was the same, as some superheroes would have. He then discovered another one of his powers with the next by hitting the heavy punching bag what was holding it. He was stretching with his hands out and energy blasts came out of his hand. He did it again and discovered other ways to use the energy blasts with his hands. He played Mocap Boxing on of his favorite video games on the fourth day he was off at ESPN Zone. He noticed that after beating the game that he was not even tired or exhausted at all so he then ran from Wrigley Field to US Cellular Field and Sears Tower but still was not exhausted. He was starting to believe that the shooting star had given him powers. So decides to talk to Rita and tells her this. Rita is shocked and amazed what she hears. To conclude he went through tests and a human scanner which showed nonhuman traits and characteristics proving he was more than a man and revealed powers and weapons.

He continued to take time off to learn the other powers. Since the event of where he tried to protect Rita crime continued to rise and the rumor of a man with powers continued talk by other people. However, it did not stop criminals from continuing to commit crimes and the crime rate to rise higher.


He was not willing to become a hero at first. One of the reasons was that he was afraid that it makes people grow afraid of him especially Rita. He thought of it would be easier to forget his powers ever existed. However, the dream he had finally convinced him. He had a nightmare that had Rita murdered at her apartment. Jason woke up used his ultra speed to get to her and knocked on the door. He told her she was in danger and that she had to leave. Rita believed him and took her back to his apartment with ultra speed.

Jason told her about his powers. Rita was a little shocked but not afraid. Rita told Jason he could use his powers to protect the city. Both of them went to bed knowing about his powers.

During the few weeks Jason keeps stops small crimes such as grand theft, mugging, robbing, and assaults. When stopping these crimes he is once again exposed to his powers and starts to learn how to control them. After seeing a tragic murder it is then that he finds out that he must use his powers to protect the city and the people. He goes back home and come up his name and a costume.

What were the false accusations he was falsely accused of?

 

[Ghostrider87]

Lets just keep it on topic I need another analysis.

 

[Duende Verde]

Lets just keep it on topic I need another analysis.

It's on topic, Jason Hairston was falsely accused with false accusations by his peers.
What did they falsely accused him of?

Knowing this would help us get a better grasp of what motivates this character.

 

[Machx72]

Now are you starting to see why it's so damned difficult to talk to this guy?

Seriously, GR, we've given you an anlysis, and when we ask you a question about your character, you should be ready to answer it, not be a complete dick to us.

 

[Ghostrider87]

It's on topic, Jason Hairston was falsely accused with false accusations by his peers.
What did they falsely accused him of?

Knowing this would help us get a better grasp of what motivates this character.

I am not sure yet of what I am going to having his peers falsely accuse him of? So I am open to suggestions.

 

[Harlekin]

You asked for it.

His parents Melinda and Paul raised Jason. Jason was very talented and skilled. In what? This sentence makes no sense. It's unnecessary info.
Jason was always one that wanted to work for something rather than just having it handed to him all the time. One of his greatest accomplishments was becoming a first-degree black belt in Taekwondo. His parents taught him about right and wrong. His parents told him that it is easy not to do the right thing and just take the easy path. Again, useless info that isn't fit for a short little bio of what your character is about. How did his parents teach him about right and wrong though? How did they show that it's not easy to do the right thing. You're just telling us they did, but you're not giving us any examples of it. That's the stuff people want to read, they want examples, they want images. Nobody cares about the black belt, it's inconsequential. How he was raised forms his character. Now it just looks ridiculous.

Before High School, most students respected and admired Jason. Why? Then High School came with students accusing false accusations giving him a hard time and criticized him. Accusing accusations? C'mon I pointed this out before. That isn't English. What they did they accuse him of, why did they accuse? One of the reasons of he was criticized because he usually always did the right thing and they wanted to seem unhappy most of the time. Why would people want to seem unhappy? Again, this is really trivial information anyway, that really doesn't matter. It's great for a story, but a quick little biography... not so much.

He was taken advantage of and lied to. In what way? Did they rape him? Jason always managed to find a way to pass the classes he was in even when it was not going well. Despite this other students still gave him a hard time criticize him along with not recognizing him and respecting him.

He refused to believe what other students said, thought, and continued to prove them wrong. Students criticized that he learned Martial Arts to beat people up and gain things. However, he never used it that way. Get a thesaurus, you've used criticize like three million times now. Also, again, trivial info.

He went to the [/FONT][/COLOR]University of Chicago of Illinois where he was the official radio disk jockey all four years he attended. He still received a hard time, criticized, and accused false accusations. In college, he confronted a student about the false accusations. In addition, asked the person do they have evidence and when they bet money on the answer. They did not have evidence and did not bet money on the answer forcing them to admit they were wrong. He graduated from the University in 2002. What the ****? Seriously, get yourself a proof reader and let him read this. It's practically illegible. It's just not readable. Also, it's largely trivial info. Nobody cares that they didn't bet.


Jason then auditioned for a radio station and got the job after one audition. A week later Jason met Rita when she was a in guest studio discussing the Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, and baseball.




Three years later after their first meeting Jason was called the Radio station where he worked by Rita telling him that it was her and that she needed him to walk her home because her car was in the shop. Rita became a secretary at a law firm. Jason became a professional disk jockey on a radio station. Why would she remember him? Why not just call a friend? This could've all been condensed to one or two sentences.


Jason was walking Rita home from work. Then heading towards her apartment Rita a gang member knocked Rita out. Jason trying to prevent any further harm took on all gang members with Taekwondo moves and wristlocks. He managed to get them to go away. But one gang member managed to sprain his ankle before Jason knocked him down with two punches. Jason fell unconscious after seeing the gang members run away very fast..

Two minutes later a shooting star hit Jason survived giving him powers making him more than a man. Ten minutes later Rita woke up after getting knocked out Rita took out her cell phone called 911 and asked for emergency emts while looking at Jason seeing he was unconscious. The emts took Jason to the hospital along with Rita. Rita waited by the hospital bed in a chair waiting for Jason to wake up. Rita fell asleep. It is morning and Rita has awoke again and then 10 minutes later Rita watched as Jason started to wake up the support systems were hit with energy from Jason’s hand. Rita was handed a newspaper and on the front page, Disk jockey defends female citizen and survives being hit by a shooting star. Jason what happened to you. I defended you from further harm my ankle was sprained by a gang member and passed out. Did you know a shooting star hit you? Thank god Rita hugs your alive Jason. He called in and told his boss that he would need time to recover from the incident and to find what happened to him.
Okay, wowie, now you're writing the story, not the biography. Secondly, quotation marks are your fronts. They're these little things: """. Lastly, trivial info, trivial info, trivial info! Nobody ****ing cares that Rita did half of that stuff. Also, it's really ****ing random for him to get hit by the star as he beat up a bunch of gang members. That's just making your character cooler than he is. Also, unconscious via a sprained ankle? That's just dumb. And now finally, learn how to get your sentences to flow. You describe a small event, STOP, then you describe something more in a completely new sentence, STOP etc. etc. You're writing telegram style while you should try and get your sentences to flow.
Jason went to workout by running during his first day off and discovered that he was running faster than he ever did before that was the same, as some superheroes would have. He then discovered another one of his powers with the next by hitting the heavy punching bag what was holding it. He was stretching with his hands out and energy blasts came out of his hand. He did it again and discovered other ways to use the energy blasts with his hands. He played Mocap Boxing on of his favorite video games on the fourth day he was off at ESPN Zone. He noticed that after beating the game that he was not even tired or exhausted at all so he then ran from Wrigley Field to US Cellular Field and Sears Tower but still was not exhausted. He was starting to believe that the shooting star had given him powers. So decides to talk to Rita and tells her this. Rita is shocked and amazed what she hears. To conclude he went through tests and a human scanner which showed nonhuman traits and characteristics proving he was more than a man and revealed powers and weapons.
Let me condense this: "As he went through his daily routine, Jason found his physical attributes greatly enhanced and the ability to fire blasts of energy. Rita was in shock as she learned of this, the two believing that the shooting star had given him powers."
He continued to take time off to learn the other powers. Since the event of where he tried to protect Rita crime continued to rise and the rumor of a man with powers continued talk by other people. However, it did not stop criminals from continuing to commit crimes and the crime rate to rise higher.
TRIVIAL INFO.

He was not willing to become a hero at first. One of the reasons was that he was afraid that it makes people grow afraid of him especially Rita. He thought of it would be easier to forget his powers ever existed. However, the dream he had finally convinced him. He had a nightmare that had Rita murdered at her apartment. Jason woke up used his ultra speed to get to her and knocked on the door. He told her she was in danger and that she had to leave. Rita believed him and took her back to his apartment with ultra speed.
"He almost gave up his powers, afraid that people would come to hate him. Finally, a nightmare about Rita, seeing it as an omen, convinced him to use his powers to help her."
Jason told her about his powers. Rita was a little shocked but not afraid. Rita told Jason he could use his powers to protect the city. Both of them went to bed knowing about his powers.
TRIVIAL INFO (so they slept together, big deal). Did you also forget she already knew of his powers?
During the few weeks Jason keeps stops small crimes such as grand theft, mugging, robbing, and assaults. When stopping these crimes he is once again exposed to his powers and starts to learn how to control them. After seeing a tragic murder it is then that he finds out that he must use his powers to protect the city and the people. He goes back home and come up his name and a costume.




Again, could be easily condensed to something a little snappier

 

[Duende Verde]

I am not sure yet of what I am going to having his peers falsely accuse him of? So I am open to suggestions.

It has to be something that really bothers him, otherwise he would just let it slide.

Maybe they falsely claim that Jason practices beastiality or maybe they say he's a stalker but he's actually just in love with a girl and likes to secretly keep an eye on her to make sure no harm comes her way.

 

[Ghostrider87]

It has to be something that really bothers him, otherwise he would just let it slide.

Maybe they falsely claim that Jason practices beastiality or maybe they say he's a stalker but he's actually just in love with a girl and likes to secretly keep an eye on her to make sure no harm comes her way.

I would like you to further explain the beastiality becuase I have never heard of that? The last one reminds me a little of Spiderman.

 

[Duende Verde]

I would like you to further explain the beastiality becuase I have never heard of that? The last one reminds me a little of Spiderman.

Google is your friend, remember, this are false accusations, Jason doesn't do any of this things, but it bothers him that others say he does.

 

[Ghostrider87]

Google is your friend, remember, this are false accusations, Jason doesn't do any of this things, but it bothers him that others say he does.

Oh so it is kind of like gossip.

 

[Duende Verde]

Oh so it is kind of like gossip.

Well, you're the one that came up with the part about Nightavenger being falsely accused with false accusations.

 

[Ghostrider87]

Ok I could come up with some considering I was falsely accused back in High School.

 

[Duende Verde]

Ok I could come up with some considering I was falsely accused back in High School.

High school kids can be so mean.

 

[hippie_hunter]

Night Avenger

So now Nightavenger is Night Avenger?

Real name: Jason Hairston
Identity: Publicly known

Why did he decide to go public? Why doesn't he have a secret identity?

Occupation: (former) College disk jockey, Professional (professional) disk jockey.

1. Why not just simply disk jockey?

2. If Night Avenger's identity is publicly known, then why is he concentrating on a disk jockey career? A publicly known superhero usually would fully concentrate on their heroics career and have a much higher profession in life. The Fantastic Four (scientists, explorers), the X-Men (teachers the Xavier Institute), Wonder Woman (Ambassador to Man's World from Themescrya), Aquaman (King of Atlantis), Captain America (S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, super-soldier), Iron Man (CEO of Stark Industries, former Secretary of Defense), She-Hulk (top class lawyer), Firehawk (Senator), Black Panther (King of Wakanda), Storm (Queen of Wakanda), John Stewart (top class architect), Guy Gardner (Green Lantern Honor Guard), Booster Gold (advertisement ****e), Ted Kord (CEO of K.O.R.D. Industries), and many others.

Daredevil and Spider-Man, both have public identites and are trying to have private lives and professions (lawyer and teacher), and they are failing at it, miserably. The only way that Night Avenger can be a disk jockey with it really being beleiveable is that he has a secret identity.

Citizenship:

U.S.A.
Place of birth:Chicago, Illinois
Known relatives: Melinda (mother), Paul (father)

Seems decent

Group affiliation: Known I can think for right now (now)

Why does he have to be one of many superheroes? Why can't he be maybe the first to come, or even the ONLY one?

Education: College graduate ( broadcasting major), bachelor’s degree in broadcasting (complete)

Some good that degree did. If he's in broadcasting shouldn't he be having some major responsibilities in a TV or radio station?

Physical Characteristics

Height: 5'11"
Weight: 195
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Brown

Okay, gives us an idea of what he looks like[/QUOTE]

(Powers: Superhuman strength, enhanced durability, Superhuman speed, energy blasts, command of shooting stars, flight.

He seems too much like a Superman-esque character. I say get rid of the lame ass command of shooting stars because that would cause too much damage to the area around him. Say he was in a battle in Chicago, it would be ******ed to unleash a shooting star inside a major city. Also where would the shooting star come from? Out of his ass? Outer space? Most shooting stars disentegrate within the atmosphere before they land upon Earth, and if one did, it would create a decent amount of damage in the surrounding area.

Weapons: Star glider)

If he has flight and superspeed, why does he need a glider, car, plane, etc?

His parents Melinda and Paul raised Jason. Jason was very talented and skilled.

What good did Paul and Melinda do for Jason. Thomas and Martha were killed for Bruce to declare his war on crime. Barry Allen was Wally's role model and his normal parents sucked ass. John and Martha Kent instilled Clark his morals and humanity. Aunt May and Uncle Ben raised Peter and taught him about responsibility. Hippolyta created Diana out of clay and gave her the role she was meant to fulfill.

Just what makes Paul and Melinda so special to be worthy to be mentioned asides from teaching him the cliched right and wrong?

Jason was always one that wanted to work for something rather than just having it handed to him all the time.

Okay, so he's an honest joe, I can relate to that.

One of his greatest accomplishments was becoming a first-degree black belt in Taekwondo.

With all the power he has, why does he need to know Taekwando? Superman, the Flash, Spider-Man, Iron Man, and many others don't know a major martial art. Hal Jordan just punches people for some reason.

His parents taught him about right and wrong. His parents told him that it is easy not to do the right thing and just take the easy path.

Just what is right and wrong?

Before High School, most students respected and admired Jason. Then High School came with students accusing false accusations giving him a hard time and criticized him. One of the reasons of he was criticized because he usually always did the right thing and they wanted to seem unhappy most of the time.

1. Why the sudden change?

2. What are the accusations? Did he commit incest or beastiality or something. Did they say that he was gay? WHAT?

3. If someone did the right thing most of the time, wouldn't they be well liked as a nice guy? If you mean by the right thing, do you mean squealing on his friends or other people or something like that? Because if so, the little prick deserves to not be well liked.

He was taken advantage of and lied to.

Who lied to him? How was he taken advantage of? Did his teacher have inappropriate relations with him or something?

Jason always managed to find a way to pass the classes he was in even when it was not going well.

But you just said that Jason was skilled and talented. Why would a skilled and talented kid have trouble in school? Also, if he just barely managed to pass, why is he in the University of Chicago and not a community college?

Despite this other students still gave him a hard time criticize him along with not recognizing him and respecting him.

Why? Are the other students @$$#0!es or something? A guy who appears nice and does the right thing usually gets some respect.

He refused to believe what other students said, thought, and continued to prove them wrong.

How?

Students criticized that he learned Martial Arts to beat people up and gain things. However, he never used it that way.

Usually someone taking martial arts at that age, unless they have been in it for years, is cheesy and lame. And if he was such a nice guy who always did the right thing, why would people say that he would use it to beat people up and gain things?

He went to the

University of Chicago of Illinois where he was the official radio disk jockey all four years he attended.

Just what made him so good to get the job right when he started school?

He still received a hard time, criticized, and accused false accusations. In college, he confronted a student about the false accusations. In addition, asked the person do they have evidence and when they bet money on the answer. They did not have evidence and did not bet money on the answer forcing them to admit they were wrong. He graduated from the University in 2002.

In college you basically get a restart on your popularity life. How the hell did he get criticized and falsely accused this time? Also, shouldn't the official radio disk jockey of the school have some popularity? If he doesn't, that means he lacks people skills, a much needed skill for such a career.

Jason then auditioned for a radio station and got the job after one audition. A week later Jason met Rita when she was a in guest studio discussing the Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, and baseball.

Just what does Rita do in order to go on a radio show to talk about sports? Does she work in sports like ESPN, the NFL, the MLB? What?

Three years later after their first meeting Jason was called the Radio station where he worked by Rita telling him that it was her and that she needed him to walk her home because her car was in the shop. Rita became a secretary at a law firm. Jason became a professional disk jockey on a radio station.

Tell me that if I read this right. Jason never saw Rita for 3 years and then out of nowhere, needs to reintroduce herself, and expects a walk to her home? And he agrees? That is completely unrealistic? Why doesn't Rita call a cab? Or call someone that she knows better?

Are Rita and Jason good friends after their first meeting?

Also, why did Rita get called to talk about Chicago sports on a radio station when she works at a law firm? What kind of radio station does Jason work in? Public Access?

Jason was walking Rita home from work. Then heading towards her apartment Rita a gang member knocked Rita out.

Were they in an alley or something, usually a mugging or an attack wouldn't happen out in the open. And if they did go to an alley, and Jason has been living in Chicago for quite some time now, why would he go to a bad area of the city? Is he too stupid to avoid the bad areas?

Jason trying to prevent any further harm took on all gang members with Taekwondo moves and wristlocks. He managed to get them to go away. But one gang member managed to sprain his ankle before Jason knocked him down with two punches. Jason fell unconscious after seeing the gang members run away very fast..

Just how many gang members are there? Taking all of them down with a sprained ankel is completely unrealistic.

Two minutes later a shooting star hit Jason survived giving him powers making him more than a man.

Shouldn't the shooting star create some sort of damage around the area, most likely killing Rita? And since she isn't dead and was in the area, why doesn't she have superpowers?

Ten minutes later Rita woke up after getting knocked out Rita took out her cell phone called 911 and asked for emergency emts while looking at Jason seeing he was unconscious. The emts took Jason to the hospital along with Rita. Rita waited by the hospital bed in a chair waiting for Jason to wake up. Rita fell asleep. It is morning and Rita has awoke again and then 10 minutes later Rita watched as Jason started to wake up the support systems were hit with energy from Jason’s hand. Rita was handed a newspaper and on the front page, Disk jockey defends female citizen and survives being hit by a shooting star. Jason what happened to you. I defended you from further harm my ankle was sprained by a gang member and passed out. Did you know a shooting star hit you? Thank god Rita hugs your alive Jason. He called in and told his boss that he would need time to recover from the incident and to find what happened to him.

A lot of this is unnecessary info. Especially with Rita going to sleep and awaking.

Jason went to workout by running during his first day off and discovered that he was running faster than he ever did before that was the same, as some superheroes would have. He then discovered another one of his powers with the next by hitting the heavy punching bag what was holding it. He was stretching with his hands out and energy blasts came out of his hand. He did it again and discovered other ways to use the energy blasts with his hands. He played Mocap Boxing on of his favorite video games on the fourth day he was off at ESPN Zone. He noticed that after beating the game that he was not even tired or exhausted at all so he then ran from Wrigley Field to US Cellular Field and

SearsTower but still was not exhausted. He was starting to believe that the shooting star had given him powers.

Again, a lot of unnecessary information, but sensible on how he discovers his powers.

So decides to talk to Rita and tells her this. Rita is shocked and amazed what she hears.

You said that Rita already observed Jason exhibit his powers. Why would she be shocked and amazed?

To conclude he went through tests and a human scanner which showed nonhuman traits and characteristics proving he was more than a man and revealed powers and weapons.

Didn't he already test himself? And how does he have weapons?

He continued to take time off to learn the other powers. Since the event of where he tried to protect Rita crime continued to rise and the rumor of a man with powers continued talk by other people. However, it did not stop criminals from continuing to commit crimes and the crime rate to rise higher.

Rumors don't lower crime at all.

He was not willing to become a hero at first. One of the reasons was that he was afraid that it makes people grow afraid of him especially Rita. He thought of it would be easier to forget his powers ever existed. However, the dream he had finally convinced him. He had a nightmare that had Rita murdered at her apartment. Jason woke up used his ultra speed to get to her and knocked on the door. He told her she was in danger and that she had to leave. Rita believed him and took her back to his apartment with ultra speed.

A lot of unnecessary information. And if he was taught to do the right thing by his parents, then why is he not willing to help people right from the get go?

Jason told her about his powers. Rita was a little shocked but not afraid. Rita told Jason he could use his powers to protect the city. Both of them went to bed knowing about his powers.

So this is the third time that she finds out that Jason has powers and she is still SHOCKED? Are both Jason and Rita stupid or something? Also you could just say that Jason f**ked the s**t out of Rita or made love to her or simply they just went to sleep with nothing happening at all.

During the few weeks Jason keeps stops small crimes such as grand theft, mugging, robbing, and assaults. When stopping these crimes he is once again exposed to his powers and starts to learn how to control them. After seeing a tragic murder it is then that he finds out that he must use his powers to protect the city and the people. He goes back home and come up his name and a costume.

As powerful as he is, why doesn't Jason just go out and stop bigger threats such as terrorism and war? And if he was already stoping small crimes, protecting the city, they why witnessing a tragic murder convince him to become a superhero? And why didn't he just STOP the murder? Did he just stand-by and watch like the dumbass he apparently is?

Over all this concept is just very lame, lacking in originality, and is somewhat stupid. I do admit that it can have potential, but it needs a HELL of a lot of improvements.

Like starting right from scratch for example

 

[Colossus24]

Ok I could come up with some considering I was falsely accused back in High School.

What were you falsely accused of?

 

[WeaponZ2]

say it without being insulting--Dew

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

Merged the two Nightavenger threads and cleaned them up. From this point on, there are the following rules.

1. GR87 calm the hell down. Take the criticism or close the thread.

2. Everyone else leave him alone. Say your opinions without being *******s.

 

[Ghostrider87]

What were you falsely accused of?

I was accused of drinking alcohol. Also there was this guy that said I made a move on this woman I knew. Both were not true.

 

[Colossus24]

I was accused of drinking alcohol. Also there was this guy that said I made a move on this woman I knew. Both were not true.

Gasp.......drinking alcohol?? How could you?

 

[Duende Verde]

I was accused of drinking alcohol. Also there was this guy that said I made a move on this woman I knew. Both were not true.

Is Nightavenger going to get revenge on those who falsely accused him after he get his superpowers?