Okay now what do i do next?

[Mike_D202]

Okay some serious advice:

http://www.scriptshark.com

 

[jaguarr]

Well, there really is no reason to not be gainfully employed while you're also working on screenplay or book. MANY have done it in the past, quite successfully.

jag

 

[tzarinna]

Hopefully his parents will give him more of a shove.

 

[chaseter]

What is it about...simple plot.

 

[Hades]

Jal dude...Get a job and save up money for school. Get on a bus and leave your town or something.

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

Ok I have removed the jokes, the insults and the name calling from this thread rather than straight out close it, because I think the thread offers some decent advice for JAL.

JAL, here is my take on it, and, I have a screenplay under consideration at Paramount through the company I work for, so let me talk to you as one writer to another.

The dialog is not good, but not because the ideas are not conveyed. We understand what you are saying, but you aren't saying it in a way that is unique or engaging. Several characters speak in the same exact words. "Plus you should..." this or that. What helps sometimes is to talk the dialog outloud to yourself. Your ear will tell you if it sounds like people talk. ANd, people talk differently from each other. Wolverine and Gambit talk differently from each other even though one writer will write a whole issue. Even people close to each other talk differently. Scott and Alex Summers, brothers, still speak in distinct fashion despite some similarities.

Next, point, structure. Each scene must begin with INT: which means interior (if the scene takes place indoors) or EXT: which means exterior (If the scene takes place outdoors.) Action is written in present tense.

Tom swings at Seth.
not
Tom swung at Seth.

There should also be some sort of description as to where the scene takes place. A Bar. What does it look like? Who are these characters? What do they look like? Another rule of thumb is the first time the characters are seen their names are in ALL CAPS, subsequent appearances you can use standard capitalization.

Seriously, I would recommend Final Draft or MovieMagicScreenWriter. I have both and they take care of most of the small things that make screenwriting so monotonous.

My script went through three lead writers and almost two years of development before I came onto the project, and it is still not perfect. Even with pros looking at it. So many times I have thought this is it, and always something more can be done. I work 4 part time jobs and live off the kindness of my aunt far more often than I want until I make it. I sell smoothies at the theme park all summer for gosh sake. You CANNOT expect this to take you to the top right away. I would also recommend you move to someplace where you can make connections, or start myspacing. No one is in Bangor, Penn who can help you. You need Hollywood or NY. That's where you will rub elbows with people who can do something for you if you are persistant.

As for your behavior on these boards. If it is any reflection on how you will react in the "real world" to criticism, then you need to never show anything to anyone. You blow up at the wrong person out here and you will never work ever. There is such a thing as the ignore button. Learn to use it on the boards and in real life.

Everyone else who feels the need to kick JAL around, lay off now. If I see anymore of this baiting, I will assume you are flamers and trolls, and I will start handing out probations quicker than Hallowe'en candy.

Hope this helps some JAL. PM me if you want more information.

 

[redmarvel]

Great post Dew, and great advice. By far the most interesting of what I've read in this thread.

JAL, Dew is right about many things in her post, but most important of all, grow a thicker skin. Not only will it help you with your chosen career path, but it will help with life in general. If someone insults or baits you, make excuses in your mind for them (oh, so and so must be having a rough day). I find that a little flirting goes a long way in getting around insults. In the "real" world I don't flirt quite as much, but I do try to find something nice to say about the people who make my life difficult. In one case, the day after dealing with one of these difficult people I told her "I like the outfit you're wearing" (and it was true). Don't lie, but search for a truth they would like to hear.

 

[jaguarr]

That's a million dollar post, Dew.

jag

 

[Erzengel]

Did she have to remove these posts:

Erz: Too much talking during a fight.
DL: It could be Anime.
Erz: I don't see anything about tentacles?
DL: I didn't say Hentai.
Erz: It would have made the story a lil more interesting.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Action is written in present tense.
Tom swings at Seth.
not
Tom swung at Seth.

Could I do: "Tom swang at Seth."? :concerned:

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I think when I get perma-banned I'm going to come back as Tom Swang.

 

[DOG LIPS]

Did she have to remove these posts:

Erz: Too much talking during a fight.
DL: It could be Anime.
Erz: I don't see anything about tentacles?
DL: I didn't say Hentai.
Erz: It would have made the story a lil more interesting.

You should have tivo'ed those. Now they are lost.

 

[Erzengel]

They are not lost. They remain in my heart.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I see them in a starry sky.
I hear them in a baby's cry.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

I think when I get perma-banned I'm going to come back as Tom's wang.

let's be honest now

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

just like Wilhelm's Cream.

 

[maxwell's demon]

just like maxwell's penis

 

[DOG LIPS]

Some jerk took DOG NIPS and CAT LIPS.