Part Of My Script

[The Apatow Crew]

Okay this is a little something i wrote and created. Don't comment yet. I've got other stuff to post yet.

The Limo Driver gets back in the limo and drives away.

STACY : Okay now that were here then let’s go in.
As there walking up the narrow driveway that leads up to the house Seth says
SETH :This sure is a huge house.
They continue to walk up the driveway until they reach the door. Stacy reaches into her purse to find her keys. She finally finds it and unlocks the door.
STACY :Watch The first step it’s a bit of the ground.
SETH
Thanks for the warning.

INT THEY WALK INTO A LAVISH HOUSE THAT IS DECORATED IN VERY NICE STUFF THAT LOOKS LIKE IT COST A FORTUNE. STACY TURNS ON THE LIGHTS.

Seth looks around the place in amazement at the place.

SETH :I guess I’m In The wrong profession. Cause being a actor or something is the only way I’ll be ever able to afford a house this size.
STACY: It's really not that big. It suites me just fine because I'm the only one living here anyway.
SETH :That’s okay I think it’s cool you live in such a massive house yourself.
STACY :So how about those drinks. What’s your poison?
SETH :Whatever you have around seems good.
STACY : I got some beers. How about some beers?
SETH :Sounds great to me. I’m not a picky drinker.

STACY :What kind of movie do you like to watch?
SETH :You got any horror movies?
STACY :How about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Remake?
SETH :That’s a favorite of mine.
STACY :How about you go get the drinks and I'll set it up and put the movie in?
SETH :Sure thing.

Seth walks into a massive kitchen area. And turns on the light

SETH :Man this kitchen is huge!
STACY :Yeah? I never really took notice before.
SETH :What do you mean? Not much of a cook?
STACY : No I am. It’s just Well because that’s really cause I'm never here to cook I'm either making a movie or visiting my family.
SETH :That's nice of you. You must be really close to them.
STACY :Yeah they are a very important thing in my life, Are you close to your family at all?
SETH :Yeah I'm pretty much close to all of my family.
STACY :Then you understand the importance of family then?
SETH :What do you mean by that?
STACY ;Well because people have been telling me I’ve been spending way to much time with my family a lot recently.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

SETH :Forget those people I say family will always be there and friends will always turn there back on you when they get the chance.
STACY :Enough of this for now lets just enjoy the movie now okay?

One Hour of the movie Passes By.

STACY :This part always scares me.
SETH :Why is that?

(Stacy Screams)

STACY : Because that’s Why.
SETH : Okay point well taken.

Seth does a little goofy smirk and laugh.

STACY : I won't be scared anymore tonight now because I got you here now.
(Stacy Clings To Seth's Arm Tightly)

SETH :It’s good to hear I'm wanted by someone. With the way I've been feeling lately.
STACY :What have you been feeling like lately?
SETH :Like I'm never good enough to do anything or for anybody. Because when I try to do some thing I mess it up pretty badly.
STACY ;I'm sure it's not that bad as you say it is.
SETh : Oh it is for real.
STACY : Well don't worry I'm here for you now.

Stacy Turns Her Head Slowly And Kisses Seth On The Lips But Seth pulls away from Stacy’s lips.

SETH :What are you doing?
STACY :I’m paying you back so just shut up and go with it.
SETH : Hey whatever you say.

(Seth Kisses Stacy Back With A Passionate Kiss) But Seth is all nervous and shaking kinda.

SETH : I think I need to leave now.
STACY : No please stay here with me. Stay tonight because I really don't want to be alone after what happened to tonight.
Seth thinks about it for a moment and wonders.
SETH : Okay I will for you.
Cuts Away And Then Back To See A Love Scene Between Seth And Stacy
(You don't see anything because it's all blurry)
It Is now 6 am in the morning and Seth And Stacy are now laying in bed.

STACY : So how are you feeling this morning after last night?
SETH : I'm feeling fantastic now. This is the best I've felt in a long time.
STACY : Well okay stud do you want to go get some breakfast now?
SETH :Yeah that sounds great to me.
STACY : All right we first need to get ready by taking a shower and changing clothe for today.
SETH : Okay but we got a problem then first.

 

[Mee]

Could use some background or synopsis or something. When the limo driver was getting in the limo and driving away I was like "what is this guy's motivation?"

 

[The Apatow Crew]

STACY :Why what is it?
SETH : I need some clothing to wear.
STACY : All right than what do you want to do then?
SETH : Well maybe we could go back to the hotel that I'm staying at and get my clothe?
STACY : That sounds like a plan or we could do this. My brother left behind some clothing on his last trip out here. He is about your size I think.
SETH : Hey whatever cool. Fine by me.
STACY : All right we'd better get started and get into the shower. And then over to your hotel before we go get something to eat.

Thirty Minutes Go By

STACY : Hey how do those clothe fit you?

Seth is still inside the bathroom getting dressed.

SETH : There a little big but there fine for right now.
STACY : You only need them until we get back to your hotel and put on your own clothing. By the way I called the limo driver while you were n there. It should be here any minute.
SETH : Okay yeah that’s cool.

EXT OUTSIDE OF STACY’S HOUSE THERE WAITING AND THE LIMO PULLS UP. SETH & STACY WALK DOWN THE DRIVEWAY TO THE LIMO.

Seth and Stacy Are Now Inside the Limo Talking.

SETH : How are you? You feeling okay?
STACY : I'm fine, I'm used to it by now.
SETH : Excuse me?
STACY : I don't need criticism right now okay.
SETH : Fine, no need to bite my head off about it.
STACY : Listen, thank you for helping me and all but I don't need a lecture, I'm a big girl, I'm smart enough and a pretty good judge of character.
LIMO DRIVER :Where to today Miss Lynn?
STACY : So oh uh.. where is your hotel?

Seth laughs at Stacy.

STACY : You Want to tell me what your laughing about?
SETH : Your a pretty good judge of character huh? You did great with Tom there.
STACY : Just what the hell is that suppose to mean?
SETH : Listen your great and all, but do you see how your giving me the cold shoulder here? You judge people before you get to know them well enough.

Stacy Has a Shocked and Somewhat angry look on her face.

STACY : Me?! Your telling me I judge people to quickly?
SETH : Yeah, otherwise you could have seen what an ******* Tom was. To do that to a girl like you.
STACY : Are you always like this?
SETH : I’m always like what?
STACY : Reading people and being so damn persuasive all the time.
SETH : Yeah I guess so. I just got so used to doing it I don’t know when I’m actually doing it to it’s to late.

Stacy looks at Seth with interest.

STACY : But why?
SETH : Well..... someone's got to do it
LIMO DRIVER : Like I asked before where too?
STACY : Well how about my place..sound good to you Seth?

Seth was simply speechless....

STACY : So are you coming or not?

Seth gets out of the limo and runs off back up to the house. Stacy has a look of sheer delight on her face.

STACY : I'll take that as a yes.

Stacy smirks and does a little giggle as she follows him.

 

[Hunter Rider]

The scene and interaction is well done JAL but you really need an introductory passage,what is the relationship between Stacy and Seth ? why are they suddenly getting it on and so forth ?

 

[The Apatow Crew]

Well i guess there brought together cause they both got immense love for each of there familys and that's the thing that brings them together. And i she's a little shook up to what happen before later that night but you see my light shed on the situation later on in the story. Wel either that or i just have a massive plothole.

This is the scene that takes place after the one i posted back in coummunity unformatted.

 

[Hunter Rider]

Well i guess there brought together cause they both got immense love for each of there familys and that's the thing that brings them together. And i she's a little shook up to what happen before later that night but you see my light shed on the situation later on in the story. Wel either that or i just have a massive plothole.

This is the scene that takes place after the one i posted back in coummunity unformatted.

Ah i never saw that one,is Seth a bodyguard for Stacy ?

 

[The Apatow Crew]

Ah i never saw that one,is Seth a bodyguard for Stacy ?

Yeah he becomes her bodyguard. Something in the next scene shows it and why.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

This takes place right aftet the scene i posted above.

INT BACK UP AT STACY’S HOUSE A FEW MINTES LATER.

SETH : So Stacy what do you want to do now?
STACY : I figured we could order some food in and just lounge around for a couple hours until I have to go to a photo shoot.
SETH : All right let me get the phone for you then.

Seth walks over to where the fun is and that’s right before you enter the kitchen and Picks up the phone and walks over and gives it to Stacy.

STACY : Thanks. Now let me find that number for that place.

The Phone Rings

PHONE CALLER : (Breathes Deep And Whispers Very Low Unhearable)
STACY : Hello? Who Is This? Anyone there? If not Bye I'm Hanging Up!
Pushes the button to turn the phone off.
SETH : Who was that?
STACY : Someone just playing a prank.
SETH : So you get those a lot?
STACY : No not really that’s the first time that’s has happen this I've became famous.
SETH : You better watch out you might have your own stalker now.
STACY ; Ha ha Very funny. I see you have jokes as well.

Stacy Hits Seth On the Arm Light

The Phone Rings Again

SETH : Hey I think that’s your boyfriend calling you again.
STACY ; Stop it Seth! Your freaking me out!
SETH : I'm only just kidding around. Here let me answer the phone okay.
STACY : Okay here you go.

Stacy hands the phone over to Seth to answer.

SETH : Hello?
PHONE CALLER : (Breathes Deep And Whispers Very Low Unhearable)
SETH : Hey! Who ever this is they better stop it!
STACY : Who is it? What’s going On?
SETH : Let me handle this. Is anybody there? Quit messing around before we call the police!

He whispers something but it seems to be he’s saying the following. “I'm coming for her and there’s nothing nobody can do about it”
The Phone now goes dead cause the caller cause hung up. Seth Puts the phone down with a shocked look On his face like he’s just seen a ghost or something

STACY : What Is it? (Screams WHAT'S WRONG?)

Seth Gulps

SETH
He......

Takes A Deep Breathe

Said he is coming for you and there’s nothing nobody can do about it.
STACY : OH MY GOD!
Stacy Starts To Cry And her voice is breaking up from the crying.
STACY : What I'm I Going to do now?
SETH : Well I honestly really don’t know?
STACY : (Yells)What do you mean you don't know!

 

[Hunter Rider]

Is Seth gonna man up ? he seems more like her BF than a trained bodyguard

 

[The Apatow Crew]

SETH : Do you got any bodyguards or anything?
STACY : No. Nothing has really ever gotten this bad. Hey about you be my bodyguard just until you have to leave?
SETH : Me As your bodyguard? I don’t know.
STACY : Ah come on. Well you had no problem last night guarding this body.

She puts her hands on her hips and goes up and down her body.

SETH : Well I don't know what I would do if I said no and anything ever happen to you? So the answer is yes I will!
STACY : Thank you so much for doing this for me.
SETH : It's nothing But I guess we should be thinking of people who might want to bring harm to you.
STACY : Hmm I don't know if I really ever done anything to hurt anybody?
SETH : Well it looks like there is someone out there you hurt and he's not to happy with it.
STACY ; Are you saying I brought this on myself?
SETH : No I'm just saying there are a lot screwed up people in the world and in there eyes you might have hurt hem and you autograph at a movie premiere or something?
SETH : Yes that’s correct!
STACY : What kind of people are we dealing with then?
SETH : Well after a certain amount of time people lose track between what’s real and what’s not? And in this person's mind they think your there girlfriend and in fact they never met you or vice versa But still think it anyway and nothing will get in there way until there objective is complete.

STACY : So how badly can it get?
SETH : Well if you reject them they might either kill you our keep you as there prisoner until your will breaks down and you agree to be there girlfriend.
STACY : That's some pretty messed up stuff right there.
SETH : Yes it is and I don't plan on that happening to you anytime ever.
STACY : I remember when I first started out a few years ago. I had a friend of mine be my personal assistant. But never I found out they where stealing from me and I had to fire them because of it.
SETH : So you think this person would hold a grudge against you? And just about how long where you friends before you hired them to come work for you? ; STACY : Well I guess you could say so. After I hit it big I saw them somewhere and they gave me a dirty look like they wanted to kick my ass.
SETH : Really? Do you know this person's name yet? So we can go find them
STACY : Yeah she was one of those friends my ex-boyfriend Tom slept with. Sarah If I remember Correctly? And to answer your other question we knew each other for quite a while. We met back sometime back in high school and after we got out of school we both tried our hand at acting and when I finally started to get roles and she did not I could tell she hated me because of it. But being a good friend I took her under my wing as my personal assistant and even tried to get her auditions for roles and everything but she was just not cut out for acting and that was the last I saw of her besides the other time she gave me that dirty look before.
SETH : It seems like a place to start. But do you think we can eat before we go out looking for this person?
STACY : Yeah of course when someone is threatening your life your never felt so starved before in your whole entire life.

SETH : Okay so where are we going to get something to eat?
STACY : Well I figure we'd kill two birds with one stone.
SETH : What do you mean?
STACY : Well you said your hungry and I know where my former assistant works at.
SETH : She works at a restaurant now?
STACY
Yeah, Say If I Tell You your going to promise me your not going to laugh?
SETH : I promise.
STACY : It's a place called the burrito barn.
SETH : Burrito barn?

(Laughs)

STACY : You Ass! You Promised.

Stacy punches Seth on the arm lightly.

SETH : Sorry I Couldn't help it. It just Sounds so funny.
STACY : Okay whatever then. Let's just get down there then and question her to see if she had anything to do with these happenings to me.
SETH : All right let’s go do that than.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

Is Seth gonna man up ? he seems more like her BF than a trained bodyguard

Well ummm here's the thing he's not a trained bodyguard. Hell he's not even a bodyguard. He's just a regular guy who saved her from her abusive boyfriend the night before. I he's that's just something i really need to work on.

I'm going to post pictures of what i want the character to look like in the Fan Art Section.

 

[Hunter Rider]

Well ummm here's the thing he's not a trained bodyguard. Hell he's not even a bodyguard. He's just a regular guy who saved her from her abusive boyfriend the night before. I he's that's just something i really need to work on.

I'm going to post pictures of what i want the character to look like in the Fan Art Section.

I'm not an expert or anything but i really think you need to open with who Stacy is and what she does,then do the club scene where Seth saves her
When they are at home as well as watching the Vid maybe she should ask him who he is and what he does etc so we can get a feel for who these ppl are
Also having them sleep together just hours after meeting is maybe not the best route to take as it takes away one of the key elements of this type of thing which is the growing relationship between the 2 central characters

 

[The Apatow Crew]

Yeah your probably right. Likei said i'm newto this and this is still a very rough draft.

 

[Tangled Web]

There are some pretty bad dialogue bits and garmmatical errors. But I'm interested in what's going to happen. Keep up the good work JAL.

 

[Hunter Rider]

I'm not listening to the negavity your saying.

Maybe you should write the first chapter in so we can see how they met and what their backgrounds are before we see them sleeping together

 

[The Apatow Crew]

Okay i can do that.

 

[WeaponZ2]

Look at it this way J Alba's Lover (great name btw). More people are looking at yours then they are mine....so that has to mean somthing...right?
Damn...I wish people would go and make fun of mine...at least then I'd be getting some attention...

 

[The Apatow Crew]

The only reason a lot of people look at my threads are to make fun of me and try to make me feel bad.

 

[Hades]

Jal, you should make the main character a compulsive rapist.

Except, it's not his fault cause his sleeping pills turn him into a compulsive rapist, and he loses all conciousness once he takes them.

And he always rapes his rich friend, but she forgets because she has traumatic stress disorder.

And the sleeping pills aren't really sleeping pills, but dangerous drugs, used by the goverment, for stuff and things.

OMG SUPSENSE! THRILLS!

 

[The Apatow Crew]

lol. no i think that's okay. I think i'll leave that idea for another movie.

 

[WeaponZ2]

The only reason a lot of people look at my threads are to make fun of me and try to make me feel bad.

But they are looking at your thread.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

But they are looking at your thread.

So you rather have somebody say something bad about your script rather thn no one look at it?

 

[WeaponZ2]

<P>

So you rather have somebody say something bad about your script rather thn no one look at it?

Yeap. Think of it this way. Your script is creating buzz. Its a controversial hit in away. Mine...its WAY under the radar.<BR>If this was the box office, you would be racking in the cash. Sure the critics hate it. But the cash flow says other wise.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

<P>


Yeap. Think of it this way. Your script is creating buzz. Its a controversial hit in away. Mine...its WAY under the radar.<BR>If this was the box office, you would be racking in the cash. Sure the critics hate it. But the cash flow says other wise.

Well alot of the movies i do like make money but are hated by critics.