Post Here To Find Out What Your Totem Is

[Speedball]

You are an impatient *****e who won't wait his turn!

jag

Wait...
There's a line?

 

[jaguarr]

Wait...
There's a line?

Yep. I'm going through these in the order they were posted.

jag

 

[Mee]

Well be quicker about it. :heart:

 

[jaguarr]

Well be quicker about it. :heart:

Yours shall be last of all.

jag

 

[Arkady Rossovich]

Jourmugand, The Spirits have seen the essence of the kakapo in you:

You are a rare and strange bird indeed. Flightless and heavy, you are extremely well grounded. Food plays a major role in your life. You are a creature of habit, preferring to do the same things over and over again no matter how fruitless or redundant it may seem to others. You are primarily a nocturnal creature and when you feel threatened you freeze entirely and pray that nobody notices you, which usually doesn't work despite your insistence that it does. You natural enemies are Polynesians.

jag

Ah..yes,actually this does make sence.Thanks for taking the time out to do this for me.

 

[Jack Rabbit]

Kritish, The Spirits tread softly past you as they whisper that your totem is the Western Diamondback Rattlesnake

jag

LMAO.t:

 

[Mee]

Yours shall be last of all.

jag

Then I can let my grandchildren read it to me.

 

[Bill]

Bill, The Spirits admire the way you float through life much like your totem the bumblebee:

Fuzzy and adorable, almost like a flying teddy bear, you fly wherever the wind will take you. Your serene approach to life belies the nasty sting you carry and people should take care not to get on your bad side. You are a very social creature and readily and happily acquiesce to the matriarch figure in your life, preferring that she guide things in your relationship. You look for win-win situations with others, preferring to work within a more cooperative framework whenever possible. It's ironic that a creature such as yourself with poor hearing would inspire Rimsky-Korsakov to write such a famous piece of music in your honor. The popular Transformers series of toys and cartoons also have a character inspired by your totem.

jag

t: I love it! Thank you.

 

[jaguarr]

Then I can let my grandchildren read it to me.

If they live that long.

jag

 

[Sebastos]

The Iron Fist, The Spirits are impressed with the pugilistic skills of your totem, the kangaroo:

Nature's natural puncher and kicker, you're quite at home walloping the crap out of someone. Unfortunately this has you being hunted by quite a few men with guns. You bounce everywhere you go, which some people find a bit annoying but you can't help this because you have very large feet that make it impossible for you to walk normally. You also never get invited to pool parties because you take playful dunking too far and have drowned several of your playmates this way. Family is important to you. Your natural enemy is the truck.

jag

Very nice, thanks jag.

 

[Mee]

If they live that long.

jag

 

[jaguarr]

*prays to the almighty jag* what am I good fellow?

imaperson2, The Spirits suggest that you change your username to "imakookaburra2", for your totem is just that:

You are incredibly noisy, but most of your vocalizations sound eerily like human laughter. It unsettles campers in the Outback. You are a highly opportunistic carnivore; if it crawls, slithers, swims or scampers you will put it your mouth and attempt to swallow it. Your family is very tight knit and you'll make a good father some day. Your wife will probably give you equal responsibility for watching your children. You have very unique, instantly recognizable plumage though you do molt occasionally which can be alienating to others.

jag

 

[jaguarr]

What's my totem, Jag?

SpeedballLives, The Spirits have written your totem's name in the sand and it is the trap door spider:

A bit of a hermit, you rarely leave your home unless it's to get food. You are very grounded and prefer a cool, dark environment. You're likely to have a secret passage or room in your home or at least dream of having one. Your life is somewhat solitary but you like what you have. You are very agile and extraordinarily fast but your feces is horribly sticky. You'll likely die from a wasp sting.

jag

 

[Speedball]

SpeedballLives, The Spirits have written your totem's name in the sand and it is the trap door spider:

A bit of a hermit, you rarely leave your home unless it's to get food. You are very grounded and prefer a cool, dark environment. You're likely to have a secret passage or room in your home or at least dream of having one. Your life is somewhat solitary but you like what you have. You are very agile and extraordinarily fast but your feces is horribly sticky. You'll likely die from a wasp sting.

jag

Hmm...
Pretty close.
I hate spiders, but what the hey.
And my poo is what...

 

[NewYorkSpider]

What's mine?

 

[jaguarr]

I will post to see what my totem is.

Ahura Mazda, The Spirits wish to offer you a drink for the road for your totem is the camel:

Famously stubborn, you're apt to bite, kick and spit if you are angered. You are known for your endurance and ability to go without water for extremely long periods. You are revered by many cultures in the Middle East and Northern Africa where you have served as military cavalry mounts, a provider of milk and meat and hide. I'd be lying if I were to say you wouldn't make a good pair of boots for someone. Often perceived as cranky, you're really just very particular about who you want to spend time with. You could do with a bath.

jag

 

[fangrl06]

fangrl06, The Spirits have murmured and thanks to the miracle of photosynthesis, I am pleased to tell you that your totem is algae:

You are fairly innocuous and even though people don't notice you all that much, you are everywhere. Always watching, taking things in. If they stand stand still long enough to get to know you, you can and will grow on them. You have the propensity to put people on their ass if they don't watch their step, but you do scuff easily. You are home to countless other organisms and enjoy aquariums as a hobby. Your natural enemies are the plocostomus and the snail.

jag

Thanks, jag.

 

[Tangled Web]

Tangled Web, The Spirits hope that you will finally understand your own inquisitive and playful nature now that they have revealed to you that your totem is the spider monkey:

You live your life in the trees, rarely if ever grounded. You are fascinated by things that you don't understand or have never seen before, sometimes to your own detriment. Because of this you can sometimes be gullible and easily fooled or put into danger. Sex is one of your primary motivators in life but your hyperactive nature can make it difficult for you to find a mate. In the meantime, though, you have a strong support system of other males that are in the same boat as yourself. There is very little you will not do for a banana or a peanut. You are a highly social creature despite self-grooming not being a priority for you. Your natural enemy is the Emerald Tree Boa.

jag

hahha thanks man.

 

[Wolfwood]

We can be friends but not best buddies that spot is saved for the whale's vagina.

Ah, I guess I have no say on whether or not I want to go in that hole huh?

 

[Ahura Mazda]

Thanks Jag....hmmm a camel.......really (I have never even been on one)

 

[3dman27]

A totem is a symbol of that which you are most tied directly to in the natural world. It's characteristics, strengths and weaknesses define you and the totem itself serves as a natural guardian for you. Totems can be animals, plants, or other natural object. Many, many moons ago, A Sioux Shaman saw the jaguar within me and connected our consciousness together. When he did this, he also bequeathed me with the great powah to see other people's totems. Now, I bring this great powah to you, the masses. For the low, low price of your soul after you die, I will tell you what your totem is and what that means. I will do this only for as long as it entertains me, so hurry and act now! The first ten callers will also receive a pair of Ginshoe knives. They're the knives that you can wear like a shoe!

*Disclaimer: Anyone injured, maimed, killed or otherwise offended by any content in this post or any subsequent posts by this author should seek counseling on their own dime or just blend in with the dirt. These posts may cause vertigo, delerium, headaches, stretch marks, gender confusion, crows feet, back acne, elevated blood pressure and/or trichotillomania. Warning: do NOT taunt this post. If it begins to glow, vibrate and shake, run away. The author is not responsible for any injuries or traumas sustained by the reader while reading this post.

jag

whats my totem if any?

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

BAH HUMBUG!, The Spirits would love a fur coat made of you for your totem is the ocelot:

You're a very solitary animal, seeking companionship only when you are ready to mate. Highly nocturnal, you prefer to sleep during the day and hunt at night. You are extremely territorial and will fight, even to the death, to protect what you have deemed is yours. You're primarily a carnivore, though you will eat vegetation if you have absolutely no other options available to you. You are playful and seek ways to amuse yourself during your waking hours. Your natural enemy is Salvador Dali.

jag

That surrealist bastard!

 

[jaguarr]

ummm.... I've already promised my soul to someone else... what other price can I pay to satisfy my insatiable curiosity... ?

redmarvel, The Spirits are smitten by the wanton displays of lust by your totem, the female chimpanzee:

Smart, determined, an aptitude for tools and implements and an insatiable sexual appetite earmark the female chimp's qualities. You are ferociously protective of your young and content to let your mate think he rules the roost when in reality you're in complete control at all times. You are highly social with your tight knit community of friends and family, but also extremely independent (to the point of being considered headstrong and stubborn by some). When you are sexually attracted to a possible mate the skin around your rump becomes swollen and a clear-pink color. Your natural enemy is humans.

jag

 

[bastard]

OMGZ!!!! BOOOBS!!!2!!!!!!

 

[jaguarr]

aw, i want one!

Mr. Credible, The Spirits are amazed at the sexual fixations of your totem, the Red Jungle Fowl:

Never one to stray too far from home, you live to rut with as many possible partners as possible. Because you do stay so close to home, though, your chances of having sex with a close relative are highly increased. When you encounter a competing red jungle fowl male who might want to mate with one of your "harem", you are prone to violence and fighting. Your natural enemy is Colonel Sanders.

jag