Hype Award Winner
- Mar 22, 2001
- Reaction score
Notes From The Sprawl: Overheard in Los Angeles
The Meterologist Weighs In
Village Idiot #1: "Oh my gawd, did you see the lightning? I was on the 101 and it was seriously about to hit my car."
Village Idiot #2: "Right! Lightning is one of nature's miracles."
--Nail Place, Beverly Hills
Overheard by: Nail Goddess
The Yearnings of a Race-Specific Flesh Peddler
"Hopefully theyll think my big black ass is funny enough to go online sooner."
--Advertising Agency in LA
Overheard by: Roland Kellar
Post-Birth Abortion Advocate Speaks!
Woman on cell phone: "What's with all of these guys with kids? It's pathetic!"
--EZ Lube on La Brea
Trouble in Paradise
Two blonde friends sit, one complains that her NBA man (on the Denver Nuggets) hasn't called.
Woman: "I mean, he's in town, he can't call me? I know you're really busy with the Playoffs or whatever, but how long does a phone call take?"
Her friend: "I know. Or a text message."
--Starbucks, Culver City
Overheard by: Sari
There's No Escape!
(Walking in the rain, past a red convertible that has its roof open and seats covered with trash bags)
Man 1: "How much effort do you think it took to put the bags on, when he could have just closed the roof?"
Man 2: "It's probably protection from Thetans."
--Franklin Ave., across from the Scientology Complex
Not Even *********e
"I could never do that. I could never workout here if I did not have my friends here. I mean, I could never do anything without my friends."
--Gym in Porter Ranch
Overheard by: Mel S.
Philosophical Question of the Day
"Does she know how bizarre she is or does she think shes normal?"
--From an open window in a West Hollywood apartment
Overheard by: Nicole C.
Or, Maybe a Motorized Speculum
(Old couple walks into doctor's office where some construction is going on. There's banging sounds coming from another room.)
Old Lady: "You hear that? That's the MRI machine. They use that to scan your brain and it shoots out radiation, and that's what makes that banging noise. They have to do that to see inside your brain because X-rays don't work. The brain's not as dense as bone and MRIs can pick up on brain activity and not just the general shape of the brain. It's fascinating stuff."
Old Man: "I'm pretty sure that's a hammer."
--Doctor's Office in Ventura
Overheard by: Michael Scott
Blessed are the Pompous: For They Shall Inherit Green Aprons
"God, why'd you make me so beautiful, and not rich?"
--Starbucks Clerk in Culver City
Overheard by: Brian O. in North Hollywood
Or Just a Warm Bath, Some Aromatherapy Candles, and a Good Book
"What would make me comfortable is to get a BJ right now from a girl who just had a shot of creme de mint."
--Somewhere in Hollywood
Your Soul for a Gold Paperweight!
"I told you I have no regrets! I mean, we DID win the Emmy!"
--Woman on cell phone, Target shoe department, Sherman Oaks, CA
Overheard by: Kendra Kimball
Yep, Definitely Metabolism's Fault
"Jenny, if you ask me for another doughnut, you're not getting any ice cream."
--Veteran's Park, Redondo Beach
Overheard by: Rob & Tracy Cota
A Detour to a Woman's Heart
Woman: "I could never get another car without seat warmers. I mean, I have my standards!"
--Restaurant/Bar, 8th & Figueroa
Overheard by: Jill Bucaro
Rally-Chant Honor Roll Student Thesis
"Why are we killing people to teach our children that killing people is wrong?"
--a bumper sticker
Observed by: Peggy