Random Simpsons Quotes Thread

[Mdizzle]

The songs are classic:

"Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part. Oh won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?"
"Their floors are sticky mart"
"They made Dad sicky mart"
"Let's hurl a bricky mart"
"The Kwik-E-Mart is real--d'oh!"

 

[aaron]

lol apu.

 

[Mdizzle]

"Son, when you participate in sporting events - it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get."

 

[aaron]

dizzle, you need a simpsons avvy.

 

[Mdizzle]

dizzle, you need a simpsons avvy.

I'm really lazy, but I would have to agree. I'll get on it

Here's one for the road:

"Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They look good, they smell good, you'd climb over your own mother just to get one! And you can't stop at just one. You want to drink another woman!"

Okay maybe two. This one came up randomly at work today...

"You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!"

 

[aaron]

lol

....what's the sauce?

 

[Obi-Ron]

"It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!"

LOL My roommate and I say that all the time, for some reason.

 

[Mdizzle]

lol

....what's the sauce?

I...don't...know. I've spent many a night puzzling over that one.

LOL My roommate and I say that all the time, for some reason.

Ha, yes! Funny how that line can come up randomly in conversations, like today at work when someone asked me what kind of sandwich I had...


More stupidity, because this is the stuff we love:

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Mr. Simpson, I've never before seen anyone suffer four simultaneously heart attacks."
"I'm gonna be okay honey. But we really could have used that $12,000 now."
"Uh, Dad, 10% of $120,000,000 isn't $10,000. It's-"
"CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!"


He's so good at math.

 

[Mdizzle]

Okay so I'm computarded...can someone resize this or make this look good as an avvy? I'm definitely no smarter than Homer when it comes to computers. Which reminds me...

"To start, press any key. Where's the any key? I see Esk, Katarl, and Pigup. Aw, this is making me thirsty. Think I'll order a tab."

Those are, of course, the phonetic (or Hometic) spellings of ESC, CTRL, and PG UP.

 

[Kingfish]

The songs are classic:

Indeed.

"Max Power.
He's the man...whose name you'd love to touch.
But you mustn't touch.
His name sounds good in your ear.
But when you say it, you mustn't fear.
Cause his name can be said...by anyone..."


"Dancin' away my hunger pains.
Moving my feet so my stomach won't hurt.
I'm kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way..."

 

[Kingfish]

Hah. This episode was just on, too.

"Ullman shorts, Christmas show.
Marge's fling, Homer's bro'.
Bart in well, Flanders fails.
Whacking snakes, Monorail.
Mr. Plow, Homer space.
Sideshow Bob steps on rakes.
Lisa's future, Selma's hubby.
Marge not proud, Homer chubby.
Homer worries Bart is gay.
Poochie, U2, NRA.
Hippies, Vegas, and Japan.
Octuplets, and Bart's boy band.
Marge murmurs, Maude croaks.
Lisa Buddhist, Homer tokes.
Maggie blows Burns away.
What else do I have to say?
They'll never stop the Simpsons.
Have no fears,
We've got stories for years.
Like, Marge becomes a robot.
Maybe Moe gets a cell phone.
Has Bart ever owned a bear?
Or, how 'bout a crazy wedding?
Where something happens,
and do-do, do-do, do.
Sorry for the clip show.
Have no fears,
We've got stories for years."

 

[Mutagen]

HOMER: *after being flown through a field of roses* Roses... so many roses...

 

[Mdizzle]

Homer's brain teaches him the ways of the market:

"Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!"
Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
"Explain how!"
Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
"Woo-hoo!"

See, there's a (small) part of him that's not completely stupid.

 

[K.B.]

From the last episode:

Homer: How could this have happened?
Flanders: Because your father lives with me now!
Grandpa: Flanders feeds me people food!

I completly lost my s**t when I heard that lline from Grandpa t:


I remember about a year after Phil Heartman died I actually researched and made a list of Troy's filmography, the list is since lost to time but I think since we are posting lyrics we should have the Troy McClure filmography too t:

 

[Mdizzle]

I remember about a year after Phil Heartman died I actually researched and made a list of Troy's filmography, the list is since lost to time but I think since we are posting lyrics we should have the Troy McClure filmography too t:

Agreed. Let me get it started (with quotes):

"You might remember me from such drivers' ed films as Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass and The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot. For the next sixty minutes, we'll be seeing actual film of car crash victims."
"Heh heh heh. It's funny cuz I don't know them."

It's always funnier when you don't know them.

 

[aaron]

i remember a quote.. i think it's simpsons. maybe family guy?

something happens at the breakfast table and homer says 'i've lost my appetite' then lisa says 'me too'.. and then homer says 'mine came back' and grabs her bowl.

haha, i think it's something like that.

 

[Mdizzle]

i remember a quote.. i think it's simpsons. maybe family guy?

something happens at the breakfast table and homer says 'i've lost my appetite' then lisa says 'me too'.. and then homer says 'mine came back' and grabs her bowl.

haha, i think it's something like that.

Yep, I remember that too. Definitely a Simpsons ep. That reminds of when Marge wants Homer to go on a diet/start eating more healthy and she serves him grapefruit. Homer lies and says there's a bug in it and tosses it out in favour of some bacon...
"Dad, there's a bug in that."
"Ehhhhh." *continues eating*




More Troy McClure:

"Welcome to the Springfield Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport", and "Where's Nordstrom?". While you're enjoying our hall of wonders, your car will be unfortunately be subject to repeated break-ins... "
"What'd he say? What about my car? "

 

[aaron]

haha troy

 

[Mdizzle]

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from dates such as last night's dinner."

Really, who marries Selma?? Well besides Sideshow Bob, and anyone else with ulterior motives...

 

[Kingfish]

Good ole' Troy McClure.

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".

"Hello, I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such celebrity funerals as "Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn A Stooge."

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as "Earwigs, Ew." and "Man Vs Nature... The Road To Victory".

 

[Mdizzle]

"Like Dolores Montenegro said in Calling All Quakers, 'have it your way, baby'"

That one has been stuck in my head for some reason.

 

[aaron]

I...don't...know. I've spent many a night puzzling over that one.

more investigation is needed.

 

[aaron]

i've never been sure if i found troy funny.

 

[Obi-Ron]

i've never been sure if i found troy funny.

You would if you remembered him from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid!"

 

[aaron]

lol true