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From the Gossip Monkey at moviehole:
Anyway, here it is.
What a truly spectacular opening weekend X-Men had. Some say $200m, others not too far off that. Some say it was crap, I for one say you try making a damn movie and getting it into picture houses damnit!. That is a hard enough feat in itself. Just for the record, and despite what the big-men are saying, I can tell you that they are definitely talking about doing an "X-Men 4", now, if they already weren't. It just won't be "X-Men 4".... more of a 'Next Generation' thing. Ironic analogy, considering Patrick Stewart has already agreed to return. But more on the world of "X-Men" in the column, below...
Talking of dressing up in hot, PVC kinky costumes (like a white plastic Nurse outfit for example) and making your own rough and tumble movie, my Macs decided to clam up due to my constant pounding of video capacity that Im forcing Imovie to take in. The constant pounding I am of course referring to is footage of Lady Monkey and I. You know, whenever youre feeling a touch bit creative, ya always encounter more than a damn problem or two. It really is quite frustrating. Its not like Im adding effects or anything. Well, I did try and do a sepia shot with some aged film, but it looked a little Lady Chatterly meets Charlie Chaplin. (Now theres a pitch for a movie damnit!). Now I love my Princess Lady Monkey and shes been away recently, visiting her Grand mother and, get this, her Great Grand Mother. OK, in Hollywood terms, thats just somebody whos considered a mature actor marrying for the second, third or fourth time, but I find it an amazing and wonderful feat. A treasure. Seriously, especially when they get pulled over for speeding!
Ive been searching for one of those dressing screens. You know the kinda thing. A room divider. A privacy screen, which leads me to this. Right, Lady Monkey and I have a new apartment someplace. Now Im not stating I have a lot of property, but Im fortunate than most to have a little more than Clints Basement. So were gonna be in this apartment for a bit, with me getting extremely excited for the prospect of Lady Monkeys arrival in the place. By arrival I mean two senses of the word. Ha! Anyways, Princesss pal wanted to stay over while she sorts herself out. We both said it wasnt suitable, seeing as its only a small place, though has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with my insecurity that Lady Monkey once had a threesome with this chick. As I mentioned in previous Monkey columns, my pals and I have discussed this issue, so back track if care to do so as Im not going over it again. Seriously, I have nothing to worry about when Lady Monkey is concerned. Shes an absolute dream. If I was one of those kids from Weird Science, then I woulda made Princess Lady Monkey. Anyways, get this, my lawyer Monkey pal has offered to put her up, out of the goodness of his falic shaped heart. Watch this space for updates on that one. Well, I need to get some essentials now. You know, bananas and wine, but heres some tid bits. Now, is it tid bits or tit bits?
007 winding down
This one time, at Bond Camp. Itll all wind down soon, people. Im talking about filming. Then the real marketing hype will take place. As with all the Bond movies, theyre saying its the best yet. Well, obviously words like that would be spouted. People arent gonna say Its the crappiest Bond or Its the third best Bond movie yet! or we havent exactly made a Bond film, so try and imagine it isnt, but please see it, as its like the Bourne movies! One mistake with the Bond name is tapping into the kiddie market and doing those Young Bond books. What the..? You get some funny guy that Johnny Depp likes, who has the slightest fondness for Bond, yet has absolutely no experience in penning such a genre and you give him the right to go where he likes with a teenage James Bond character!! Now I hear whispers that the big noises wanna tap into the movie market and do an adaptation of this Fast Show guys book! Ok, not only will continuity be out the window for Royale, but for Young Jimmy Bond too. All for what? Its a simple desperate lets make more money, screw the fans, its history and creator fact. Care has gone out the window. All need now is a court case that could crank up the marketing. Roger Michell is apparently coming on board to direct Bond 22, but some reckon its Campbell again. You know Im just waiting on a Bond 23 rumor!! I noticed Samantha Bond is credited on IMDB. Hmm, really? My lawyer was on a plane to Oslo once and she was sat behind him. Not that has anything to do with this, but its more interesting.
Die Hard : With an Underworld Director
I thought I was having a nightmare when I learnt of Len Wiseman being tapped to helm Die Hard 4.0..... had to pinch myself. It doesn't make sense. It was bad enough hearing, back when, that Mark Bomback was rewriting it, and you just know for sure that Wiseman is going to get his Underworld typing hands on the script, now too. I've read a few of the different screenplays for "Die Hard 4" over the years, and this one, just ain't it. It seemed to be missing....something. I can't understand Bruno and Arnold giving it the thumbs up.... but they have, and casting is about to get underway shortly.
Ratner directing spin-off?
I hear that Brett Ratner is in talks to direct "Wolverine". FOX are apparently happy with the job Ratner did on "X-Men 3", as I am, and he apparently gets on well with Hugh Jackman - who will be starring and producing - so it's a no-brainer, by the sounds. Ratners apparently got a woody for Vinnie Jones, too, and I hear hes trying to find him a slot in that one. (And good to hear that Ian McKellen will indeed be starring in the Magneto spin-off. Guess theyll just de-age him with some computer effects .or something?). First though, Ratner's doing "Rush Hour 3", which will also have an "X-Men" link : Ian McKellen, who is in talks to play the baddie.
