Guardians of the Galaxy Rocket Raccoon facts

[Tony Stark]

1.) He has a skin hat made from Davy Crockett.

2.) He could kill Thanos in less than 2 seconds, but doesn't want to make his team mates look incompetent.

3.) His other gun is even bigger.

4.) He is a personal consultant to Tony Stark on how to be a playboy.

5.) To save humanity, he went back in time to prevent Justin Bieber from becoming a star.

6.) Humans invented garbage cans to give offerings to his raccon bretheren.

7.) His sex appeal and virility caused human women to crave "furries".

9.) His awesomeness has caused the Red Pandas to demand to be renamed Red Raccoons.

10.) It is said, Wolverine wept uncontrollably the first time he glanced upon him.

 

[Joeyjojo72]

Cool list. I tittered more than once.

Oh an btw, Wolverine wept uncontrollably because Squirrel Girl rejected him in favor of Rocket. That's what I heard anyway.

 

[MarvelKnight]

Number 10 is my favorite. I am looknig forward to this list growing.

 

[cherokeesam]

11) Rocket Raccoon checked into his room, only to find Gideon's Bible.

 

[VictorShade]

I'm sorry, I don't know if I'll be able to get onboard with the racoon. When I was young and read the Guardians if the G., it was Martinex, Charlie 27, Yondu and that bunch. And I liked 'em ok. I remember Drax from somewhere or the other back then. And I remember Moondragon and Mantis (grass skirt) from their days as active Avengers. I know I've missed alot since I stopped 'actively' reading comics on a regular basis, but I can't see Rocket Racoon being the big draw here. Seems goofy to me. Maybe I'm just gettin old.

 

[catintheengine]

I don't know a whole lot about the Guardians, but from what I do know I think the big draw for Rocket Raccoon is the fact that he, as a character concept, is just so absurd.

I mean, you take this little animal and you stick a howitzer on his arm...it's just kind of silly.

 

[Tony Stark]

Pray that Rocket forgives your unkind comments. This is not a critique thread. This is a thread about Rocket Raccoon facts.

 

[Tony Stark]

12.) Rocket Raccoon taught Norrin Radd how to surf.

13.) Rocket Raccoon went before the Watcher.....to warn him.

14.) With great power comes.......Rocket Raccoon.

15.) Rocket Raccoon cannot lift Mjolnir because Mjolnir is not worthy to touch Rocket Racoon.

 

[Tony Stark]

16.) He created the Phoenix force by lighting one of his farts on fire.

17.) He receives royalties every time Stan Lee says "Excelsior!"

18.) Because of him, it is said that in order to enter the Odin sleep, the Allfather must count raccoons.

 

[Tony Stark]

19.) The Lone Ranger was inspired by him, to wear a mask.

20.) It is said the infinity gems were created from his kidney stones.

21.) Chuck Norris wears Rocket Raccoon pajamas

 

[cherokeesam]

22) Rocket Raccoon does not always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks the fermented blood of the Heralds of Galactus.

 

[jaqua99]

23) Rocket Raccoon Successfully ordered a Big Mac from Burger King

 

[jaqua99]

12.) Rocket Raccoon taught Norrin Radd how to surf.

13.) Rocket Raccoon went before the Watcher.....to warn him.

14.) With great power comes.......Rocket Raccoon.

15.) Rocket Raccoon cannot lift Mjolnir because Mjolnir is not worthy to touch Rocket Racoon.

wince. Hate this one man

 

[Joeyjojo72]

Rocket's **** is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. Rocket Raccoon's ****.

jaqua I liked that one.

 

[Spider-Vader]

24.) Rocket Raccoon has gotten Galactus into an armlock....10 times
25.) Adolf Hitler committed suicide because he knew Rocket Raccoon was coming for him

 

[jaqua99]

26.) After a few too many beers, Rocket Raccoon stumbled into a star, unscathed. This phenomenon is now known as a "Super Nova Explosion"

27.) Rocket Raccoon had an affair with a frilled lizard The off springs were known as "Gremlins"

 

[jaqua99]

28.) To mankind's amazement, Rocket Raccoon once visited Earth. Tales were written of this visit. These tales were titled, The Holy Bible
29.) Look at your girlfriend/wife, don't get angry, but Rocket Raccoon got it in before you did.

 

[Tony Stark]

30.) When Rocket Raccon pays his taxes the IRS gets audited.

31.) He is the undefeated Nobel laureat for awesomeness.

32.) The chicken crossed the road, because he was on the other side.

33.) When he yawns the whole world yawns.

34.) He attended a magic show, and even David Copperfield couldn't figure out how he did it.

 

[T"Challa]

Rocket Racoon once took a piss into the engine of a broken down truck.....that truck is now known to many as Optimus Prime

 

[Pink Ranger]

36) Rocket Racoon can kill one stone with two birds.

37) Rocket Racoon once visited a lab in New York and callously spit on the floor. That's how the Super Soldier Serum was created.

38) "Rocket" is actually Rocket Racoon's real first name. The engine was named after him.

39) They keep having to reboot the DC universe because Rocket Racoon visits every 10 years and kicks everyone's ass.

 

[Tony Stark]

40.) Rocket Raccoon made Happy Hogan cry

41.) He recorded an album once, when played backwards you could hear Led Zeppelin.

42.) Lady Death once had a near Rocket Raccoon experience.

43.) It is said Galactus was the first herald of Rocket Raccoon.

44.) He gave sight to Daredevil, and then promptly took it away after Ben Affleck starred in the movie.

 

[Pink Ranger]

45) Rocket Racoon sat down in an editing booth and re-cut the Green Lantern movie. It went on to win 12 Oscars, 5 Golden Globes and, somehow, a Tony Award.

 

[Tony Stark]

45) Rocket Racoon sat down in an editing booth and re-cut the Green Lantern movie. It went on to win 12 Oscars, 5 Golden Globes and, somehow, a Tony Award.

 

[spideymouse]

46) The only reason the Internet exists is so that there would be a safe place for humans to read the Rocket Raccoon facts thread. The sight of any printed copy would burn our eyes with a fire 1000 times hotter than the hottest star, instantly destroying a third of the Milky Way Galaxy.

 

[jaqua99]

40.) Rocket Raccoon made Happy Hogan cry

41.) He recorded an album once, when played backwards you could hear Led Zeppelin.

42.) Lady Death once had a near Rocket Raccoon experience.

43.) It is said Galactus was the first herald of Rocket Raccoon.

44.) He gave sight to Daredevil, and then promptly took it away after Ben Affleck starred in the movie.

Both of these had me in tears