I have seen a lot of Spider-man in the 60's and 70's alone and really depressed to say that he just sarcasms everything off.
It's a defense mechanism. It's a defense mechanism I have and understand. Due to various factors in my life the world's become a place I don't trust in my unconscious. And because of that I always laugh it off, much like Spidey does. It's a way to make the world not so scary anymore. And ASM had plenty of those moments and with the same script and a different director it probably would have been a lot better because they got those sides of Peter right.
The main problem with ASM, as I've stated:
1) The mis-en-scene is way way way too dark. It was almost dark just for dark sake or another attempt to be different from the look of the prior trilogy. That was a huge mis-step. While the character and story can be somewhat dark, you need that vibrancy to deflect that just like Spidey deflects off the darkness in his own life. This is often why the comics are bright regardless of what's going on and why the prior trilogy was bright. It's the mis-en-scene that was the problem.
2) They had to re-tell the origin story but they were not sure of themselves at all. Some things they just changed for the hell of it and sometimes they were too afraid to stray too far. The wrestling is a major indicator of this. If they had never dropped into the arena it would have been so much better, words can't even describe how much better it would be. That's a scenario of do it - or don't do it at all. That scene blatantly read as, "we need to make homage, but we don't want to do what the previous film did." And there were dozens of those instances throughout, either go completely away from that or don't go there at all. I am so happy that there is a sequel now because THAT is how this series should have started, giving them free reigns because the shackles in ASM were plainly visible at times.
3) The emotions and the promise. I was more than excited for the film before it came out. Finally we were going to explore Peter's past and origin. It was promised. It was set out to be the backbone of the film. But the way they went about it? Most of it hit the cutting room floor. They followed it for a moment then completely tossed it out until the very last moment. Not telling the whole story is one thing, but on the same hand you don't need to toss it away completely either. You could have very easily shown Connors telling Peter small things he knew about his father - there was even a scene like that originally in that they tossed out. Point is - ruined potential.
So for those three reasons, the film never gelled. It seemed like it wanted to form it's own identity in its subject yet dropped it halfway through, they seemed to want to go their own direction but felt obliged to make homages that should have never been there and felt more like a punch to the gut in them excluding it (the wrestling), and the mis-en-scene didn't need to be that dark.
That said, with a sequel on its way they should be able to dive into more and be its own entity
finally like the first film should have been. Also it seems they've learned their lesson about how dark they made the last film and are adding more energy to this one (and hopefully better image clarity). To me, it's not the character or what he's going through (I'm there myself, adoptee with a chip on my shoulder) but in how it's presented and that the director seemed shackled to the past without making up his mind of if he wanted to stray from origin points or abandon them which just made it seem overall muddled and directionless.