Sick of this!

For the sake of your loved ones I wish to become Bane in real life. Does anyone have any suggestions?
yes. My 5-step program will work wonders!
1. Eat spinach.
2. get bitten by a radioactive strongman
3. Pilot a ship to outer space and get hit by Cosmic rays.
4., Go to prison and participate in Dr. Burstein's experiments
5. Take Venom baths.
If you do not gain super-strength after you follow these instructions.....I will not give you your money back cause you never gave me any money that I could give back to you.
 
I just lament the absence of super villains so far. Yea, we have Goldman-Sachs, Politicians, and such but they are above these guys paygrade. They need some street level villains with homemade death rays.

:o


There's this dude that's been running around robbing liquor stores in a black Spider-Man mask.

Well, was. He got caught.
 
There's this dude that's been running around robbing liquor stores in a black Spider-Man mask.

Well, was. He got caught.


Yea, all the good super villains wear a suit and tie and plot from boardrooms or Washington.

Wheres the Joker when you need him.
 
Hey, I think guys like him are just the kind of villains these real life superheroes deserve. That dude was wearing a Spidey Mask and wielding a Katana. Awesome.
 
This thread has the potential to become one of the most amusing threads in the history of the Hype.
 
Yea, all the good super villains wear a suit and tie and plot from boardrooms or Washington.

Wheres the Joker when you need him.

I think the most true-to-life supervillain we've had in modern times was Osama Bin Laden. But he was "dispatched" by much greater heroes than Phoenix Jones.
 
Actually, I think the incident was known as the Killdozer (as labelled by the sensational media).
 
I think the most true-to-life supervillain we've had in modern times was Osama Bin Laden. But he was "dispatched" by much greater heroes than Phoenix Jones.

Like I said, we need more street level villains for these guys. The big baddies are above their level.

We need an old school Thanos with copter and all.


DRATS!!
 
Like I said, we need more street level villains for these guys. The big baddies are above their level.

We need an old school Thanos with copter and all.


DRATS!!

The first guy HighFivingMF posted did have an armored bulldozer. Too bad these street level villains only manage to commit one crime before being arrested, and then can't break out of prison.
 
I nominate WildCatNC to break Dr. Chaos out of prison and locate a Lazarus pit in which to resurrect Killdozer.

*Starts writing comic*
 
The first guy HighFivingMF posted did have an armored bulldozer. Too bad these street level villains only manage to commit one crime before being arrested, and then can't break out of prison.

Yea I know. Maybe a supergroup, "Masters of Mediocre Evil" MOME

That way they can bail each other out and then steal more money for the pot. It would help if they got a corporate sponsor. "This bank job brought to you by Wells Fargo. F*** it we're evil" They could take out some competition you know.
 
Real life superheroes have no idea how selfish the ideal is. You're neglecting your spouses and children to persue some selfish dream that could get you killed, or your loved ones hurt if some gang you pissed off decided to id you.

For the sake of your loved ones I wish to become Bane in real life. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Hey now, you're painting all of us with the same brush. Granted there are some of us who feel free to fly off to other planets. However there are also some of us who's spouses actually join in all our endevours and our kids are just as eager to hero up as we are. Mind you, some of need to remember to use all available safety procedures when our kids choose to hero up.
 
There's a difference between dressing up and doing charitable work for your community and running around assuming you know enough of the particulars of a situation to inject yourself and become forcibly embroiled with the "villains."
 
There's a difference between dressing up and doing charitable work for your community and running around assuming you know enough of the particulars of a situation to inject yourself and become forcibly embroiled with the "villains."

Yep. The charity ones are half ass. :o
 
I was actually thinking about this the other day whilst hearing of Phoenix Jones' arrest. I thought what if somebody decided to dress up and become a villain and oppose these self appointed heroes? Could be funny actually.
 
Hey now, you're painting all of us with the same brush. Granted there are some of us who feel free to fly off to other planets. However there are also some of us who's spouses actually join in all our endevours and our kids are just as eager to hero up as we are. Mind you, some of need to remember to use all available safety procedures when our kids choose to hero up.

Focus on providing food, love and education for your kids, not trying to live some 'Kick Ass' inspired fantasy through them vicariously. What you're doing is talking about putting your children in harm's way. Because that's what real heroes do, they often endanger themselves in order to help others. There's no 100% effective safety procedures when someone pulls a knife or a gun on you. The immaturity of some people amazes me. None of you seem to understand why there's not real "superheroes" out there... because it's an incredibly dangerous and foolish thing to do.
 
Yep. The charity ones are half ass. :o

The charity ones are starved for attention. They want more attention drawn to them and their gaudy costumes and silly hero names, than the people they're supposedly helping. And sometimes their "charity" is uncalled for and unwanted... like when they pepper-spray a dude because he's chatting up a drunk girl at a bar.

You want to do some charity? Join the Peace Corp for two years and help provide clean drinking water for people in poor countries.
 
What gives them the right to go out and do this on their own?

Because they want to help.

Someone once chased my younger sister with a knife when I was a kid. Not much older than 13. I had to get her to safety then stop him. That made me grow up real fast. My "after Zorro" moment.

A couple years ago (age 18) driving with my family in NYC we saw someone getting stabbed to death. My top priority was getting my family as far away as possible then I'd zero back to see what I could do. Dad drove too far, no chance. He had no idea what I was thinking.

Then a year ago at college I heard what I thought was a gun shot. If it was? I was prepared to run in to get as many people as I could to safety. By the time the cops arrive and figure out a game plan? Many would already be dead.

Basically asking this question is the same as what gives a person the right to run into a burning building or put on a badge. Some people's instincts are protective. They don't care about their lives as much as saving someone elses'. Why this is. I have no idea. Fight kicks in rather than flight.

I don't put on a costume. I don't go looking for trouble. But if I do come across a problem where someone is in danger? I am the kinda guy to do something about it rather than look the other way. As a man I think it's part of my responsibility that's gone back in time for decades. Almost bred into us. It's what we do and why, after I have my main career goals settled, I'll become a volunteer police officer. Some people just want to make the world a safer place, same reasons the heroes we look up to do it. No difference.

If you see someone in danger or in need of help, where's the nobility in running away if you can help? Where's the humanity in that? Once again I don't put on a costume or go looking for it. But I am the kinda guy who if I'm there - I do what I can, I don't cower away.
 
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Because they want to help.

Someone once chased my younger sister with a knife when I was a kid. Not much older than 13. I had to get her to safety then stop him. That made me grow up real fast. My "after Zorro" moment.

A couple years ago (age 18) driving with my family in NYC we saw someone getting stabbed to death. My top priority was getting my family as far away as possible then I'd zero back to see what I could do. Dad drove too far, no chance. He had no idea what I was thinking.

Then a year ago at college I heard what I thought was a gun shot. If it was? I was prepared to run in to get as many people as I could to safety. By the time the cops arrive and figure out a game plan? Many would already be dead.

Basically asking this question is the same as what gives a person the right to run into a burning building or put on a badge. Some people's instincts are protective. They don't care about their lives as much as saving someone elses'. Why this is. I have no idea. Fight kicks in rather than flight.

I don't put on a costume. I don't go looking for trouble. But if I do come across a problem where someone is in danger? I am the kinda guy to do something about it rather than look the other way. As a man I think it's part of my responsibility that's gone back in time for decades. Almost bred into us. It's what we do and why, after I have my main career goals settled, I'll become a volunteer police officer. Some people just want to make the world a safer place, same reasons the heroes we look up to do it. No difference.

If you see someone in danger or in need of help, where's the nobility in running away if you can help? Where's the humanity in that? Once again I don't put on a costume or go looking for it. But I am the kinda guy who if I'm there - I do what I can, I don't cower away.

I have a very similar school of thought, and have often been labelled as the 'hero' of my group of friends because of it.

If someone is crying, I'll go up to them. If someone is hurt, I'll get them help and stay with them till it comes. I've done some strange things in the pursuit of helping people (especially suicidal ones :()

This might sound a bit weird, but I also have a habit whenever I get into a vehicle, of assessing who is in there with me and who I would get out first if we had a crash.

I'm not putting on a suit and fighting crime, mostly because I don't have any knowledge of martial arts, don't have the money for proper protective gear, and only live in a little town where very little crime happens.

But honestly, if I was skilled in martial arts, had the money for protective gear and pepper spray or a taser, and I lived in a place where I often saw people being robbed on the street - I'd seriously consider it!

Because why not?

How is any different than becoming a cop, or even joining the army. Your putting yourself in danger, but wearing a mask means your family is MORE protected against retribution than that of a cop, surely!
 
I have a very similar school of thought, and have often been labelled as the 'hero' of my group of friends because of it.

If someone is crying, I'll go up to them. If someone is hurt, I'll get them help and stay with them till it comes. I've done some strange things in the pursuit of helping people (especially suicidal ones :()

This might sound a bit weird, but I also have a habit whenever I get into a vehicle, of assessing who is in there with me and who I would get out first if we had a crash.

I'm not putting on a suit and fighting crime, mostly because I don't have any knowledge of martial arts, don't have the money for proper protective gear, and only live in a little town where very little crime happens.

But honestly, if I was skilled in martial arts, had the money for protective gear and pepper spray or a taser, and I lived in a place where I often saw people being robbed on the street - I'd seriously consider it!

Because why not?

How is any different than becoming a cop, or even joining the army. Your putting yourself in danger, but wearing a mask means your family is MORE protected against retribution than that of a cop, surely!


Wanting to help is one thing. And there's avenues to do that legally, such as joining the police, fire department, army, peace corp or volunteering in your community. As far as I can tell, someone who wears a colorful costume is more concerned with their own legend and harbors delusions of grandeur. They also lack the formal training that the police and firemen have, which means they're liable to make costly mistakes that can actually make things worse.

And dude, no one cares about your identity. You're not dealing with Mexican drug cartels (But if you really want to be a hero, go to Mexico and try taking them out. Then I will call you a real superhero).

Lastly, I would not feel safe on the street knowing there was some guy with martial arts training, no badge, a masked face and looking to pepper-spray someone. Since crimes don't occur with such frequency as they do in comics, these knuckleheads often look for altercations and end up blowing them into much bigger fiascos than they would have been if they had just left them alone. It would not only make me feel less safe, I would be resentful of the arrogance involved. You're not a police officer, you have no training, so what gives you the right to get in other people's business when you have no real clue what's going on or how to properly handle the situation? Leave the solving of crimes to the grown-ups, mmmkay?
 

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