So being nice can come off being creepy...

[The Lizard]

Someone like having nice things done for them...some people see it as "creepy" or "overstepping bounds" or "trying to get in their pants." It really just comes down to who you're helping, I think.

Plus, the truth of the matter is that two different guys can make the exact same polite gesture to the same woman, and one guy will be considered "sweet", and the other guy will be considered "creepy" based purely on which one the woman finds more attractive.

 

[kainedamo]

I'd give up my seat for an elderly person on a crowded bus or train.

I remember very specifically standing on a bus, and there was this elderly woman standing. And there's this guy, no older than me, sitting all comfy in his seat practically next to her. I thought it was pretty rude that he couldn't offer this old lady a seat.

 

[jaguarr]

So these woman are giving men permission to not give up their power? hmmm.

You don't need anyone's permission to retain and use your power. Ever. It's yours. If you just give it up, then you don't deserve to have it in the first place.

jag

 

[kainedamo]

You don't need anyone's permission to retain and use your power. Ever. It's yours. If you just give it up, then you don't deserve to have it in the first place.

jag

I don't get this. How does one "give up" or "retain" their power?

 

[jaguarr]

I don't get this. How does one "give up" or "retain" their power?

How many guys, including yourself, do you know that immediately put a woman and her needs before themselves? Often when first meeting them? And then they let that woman walk all over them and treat them like hell in the hopes that it will get them somewhere with that woman (which it never does because weakness is not sexy). It's another way of saying "don't put the ***** on a pedestal".

jag

 

[kainedamo]

How many guys, including yourself, do you know that immediately put a woman and her needs before themselves? Often when first meeting them? And then they let that woman walk all over them and treat them like hell in the hopes that it will get them somewhere with that woman (which it never does because weakness is not sexy). It's another way of saying "don't put the ***** on a pedestal".

jag

I think some guys are like that.

I find that I avoid talking to women. I have this awkwardness with women I can't feckin shake off. It's annoying.

 

[jaguarr]

I think some guys are like that.

I find that I avoid talking to women. I have this awkwardness with women I can't feckin shake off. It's annoying.

That's because you let them have your power before you even open your mouth.

jag

 

[ShadowBoxing]

That's because you let them have your power before you even open your mouth.

jag

By the Castle of Greyskull! They have the POOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWER!!!!!

 

[jaguarr]

By the Castle of Greyskull! They have the POOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWER!!!!!

Haha! Yeah, women are like Skeletor; they want to steal your power. :grossandridiculousgeneralization:

jag

 

[Sloth7d]

I'd give up my seat for an elderly person on a crowded bus or train.

I remember very specifically standing on a bus, and there was this elderly woman standing. And there's this guy, no older than me, sitting all comfy in his seat practically next to her. I thought it was pretty rude that he couldn't offer this old lady a seat.

Pssh! The next time an old woman wants my seat on the bus, I'm going to tell her "no", because two women told me that'd be creepy.

 

[Mac_Hine]

Plus, the truth of the matter is that two different guys can make the exact same polite gesture to the same woman, and one guy will be considered "sweet", and the other guy will be considered "creepy" based purely on which one the woman finds more attractive.

It's all based on your body language. If you're calm, cool and just totally relaxed when you're doing things, you will come out looking "sweet". But if you're all nervous, soft voice tone and sketchy when you're doing the same thing, you'll come out looking "creepy". Simple as that.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Yes, Lizard, you are wrong, or rather, that's not always the case.
I've seen plenty of wizened old Santa Claus look-alikes getting the sweet reception when they offer a seat or hold open a door for a young lady who is not sexually attracted to them.

 

[kainedamo]

I think some women (and I gotta reiterate, SOME women) come across as kinda oversensitive. I mean, for example, I've noticed that sometimes the definition of "creepy" can be really ****ing loose sometimes. It's as though it's assumed half the men out there are rapists.

And although its probably come about as a result of too many men trying too hard, some women don't make it easy for ya to find a comfort level with them. If ya feel awkard, they'll make you feel more awkward by making it clear you're bothering them. Or maybe thats my inexperience and bitterness talking again.

 

[Figs]

I think some women (and I gotta reiterate, SOME women) come across as kinda oversensitive. I mean, for example, I've noticed that sometimes the definition of "creepy" can be really ****ing loose sometimes. It's as though it's assumed half the men out there are rapists.

And although its probably come about as a result of too many men trying too hard, some women don't make it easy for ya to find a comfort level with them. If ya feel awkard, they'll make you feel more awkward by making it clear you're bothering them. Or maybe thats my inexperience and bitterness talking again.

No, what's not in bold is fairly spot on.

 

[Soundwave]

I'm considered one of the "nice" guys but I'm not nice because "I'm putting ***** on a pedestal", it's just a part of my makeup. If I'm nice to a girl and she finds it "creepy" and "disgusting" then oh well. Not gonna change who I am. I can only control my own actions and not someone else's.

 

[Ghostvirus]

^ word.

 

[The Lizard]

Yes, Lizard, you are wrong, or rather, that's not always the case.
I've seen plenty of wizened old Santa Claus look-alikes getting the sweet reception when they offer a seat or hold open a door for a young lady who is not sexually attracted to them.

I should have clarified -- I meant mostly among young people of the same age in a social atmosphere. My comment was also focused a bit more on actual friendship/dating scenarios too. Two guys can do the same nice, thoughtful thing to try to impress a girl, but whether she considers the gesture itself to be sweet or creepy can hinge on how she feels about the guys in question. My error.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

You KNOW we have to cover every single little base and contingency on the nitpickernet!

 

[jaguarr]

You KNOW we have to cover every single little base and contingency on the nitpickernet!

Don't worry, this oversight is going into his file. *scribbles on chart*

jag

 

[The Lizard]

Don't worry, this oversight is going into his file. *scribbles on chart*

jag

Oh no - I have a permanent record here?

 

[Logan's Runt]

Don't worry, this oversight is going into his file. *scribbles on chart*

jag

This made me imagine jag in a labcoat with a chart being all official-like, but someone comes by and realizes all he's got on the chart are crazy line drawings of bondage.

 

[jaguarr]

This made me imagine jag in a labcoat with a chart being all official-like, but someone comes by and realizes all he's got on the chart are crazy line drawings of bondage.

All those drawings are in YOUR file.

jag

 

[The Lizard]

All those drawings are in YOUR file.

jag

 

[turtlefocker]

Jesus. This is why once I get married that is it. If it works out fine, & if it doesn't. Hookers for life. This cryptic sh** is rediculous. I am going offer you a seat, & if a guy is getting physical I am going to step in. If you are crying, I am going to make sure you are alright. Deal with it b**ch!

 

[turtlefocker]

Jesus. This is why once I get married that is it. If it works out fine, & if it doesn't. Hookers for life. This cryptic sh** is rediculous. I am going offer you a seat, & if a guy is getting physical I am going to step in. If you are crying, I am going to make sure you are alright. Deal with it b**ch!