Spiderman 4: Fire of the Dove's Eye

[UltimateJustin]

This is a portion of my script I'm working on for Spiderman 4. I call it the Fire of the Dove's Eye for many reasons which will be revealed later on. At first the film is a mystery but then it becomes the regular kind of action/adventure/summer comedy that Spiderman is known for. I appreciate all comments and suggestions, thanks.

PART 1:


Ent. Peter's Apt.

Peter Parker sits on his bed in his apartment. He is staring at the wall as usual.

PETER: Huh? Oh, I guess no one is there.

Peter continues to stare as the scene fades to black.

Ext. New York City skyline, 6:30pm

The citizens of New York are out and about, seemingly in a hurry.

HOT GIRL: Hey boys. I think it's going to rain. That's why everyone appears to be in a hurry.

BLACK TEEN #1: Shut up, hot ass girl. Like anybody, ANYBODY, ever cared what you think?

BLACK TEEN #2: Let's rob her!

HISP. TEEN: No, let's rape that girl instead!

BLACK TEEN #2: Why?

BLACK TEEN #1: Why? Cause thats just what we do. Thats just what we do.

Zoom in on the hot girl's face. Her eyes are huge. Her gentle, delicate hands clutch onto her face cheeks.

HOT GIRL: Ohhhh noo!!!

HISP. TEEN: You shut up or you're gonna get raped so hard your dad's vagina'll fall off!

BLACK TEEN #1: Now we're talking!

HOT GIRL: Spiderman! Help me!

BLACK TEEN #1: He. Ain't. Coming.

The vicious trio approach the girl as the camera pans up.

HOT GIRL screams. We hear rape noises as the scene fades to black.

A newspaper FLIES toward the screen, the headline reads "Ancient Artifact to Appear at Museum Exhibit"

Ent. The Office of J. Jonah Jameson

JJJ: I want pictures. I want stories. I want action. I run a newspaper.

Peter Parker enters the office.

JJJ: What are you doing here?

PETER: Sir, I have pictures of that girl who was raped in that alley last night.

JJJ: What?

PETER: Huh?

JJJ: Peter, I wan't you to get to the museum. Haven't you heard, theres a priceless artifact, some kind of rare Egyption dove that is said to have magical powers and that all who possess this "dove" as they call it will gain the ability to see into the souls of men. Get down there this instant! What am I paying you for?!?

PETER: I'm on it, sir!

 

[AnimatedFury]

Ext. New York City skyline, 6:30pm

The citizens of New York are out and about, seemingly in a hurry.

HOT GIRL: Hey boys. I think it's going to rain. That's why everyone appears to be in a hurry.

BLACK TEEN #1: Shut up, hot ass girl. Like anybody, ANYBODY, ever cared what you think?

BLACK TEEN #2: Let's rob her!

HISP. TEEN: No, let's rape that girl instead!

BLACK TEEN #2: Why?

BLACK TEEN #1: Why? Cause thats just what we do. Thats just what we do.

Zoom in on the hot girl's face. Her eyes are huge. Her gentle, delicate hands clutch onto her face cheeks.

HOT GIRL: Ohhhh noo!!!

HISP. TEEN: You shut up or you're gonna get raped so hard your dad's vagina'll fall off!

BLACK TEEN #1: Now we're talking!

HOT GIRL: Spiderman! Help me!

BLACK TEEN #1: He. Ain't. Coming.

Huh.. I'm sure I don't like this script.

 

[I'm Venom]

The vicious trio approach the girl as the camera pans up.

HOT GIRL screams. We hear rape noises as the scene fades to black.

Wow, rape noises? There's no way you can be serious. No more, please.

 

[red hood 4]

A little over the top

 

[UltimateJustin]

A little over the top

This is my vision.

 

[Drizzle]

Normally I try to be nice when it comes to stuff like this, but here goes.

Your script is awful and your title is even worse.

"You're gonna get raped so hard your dad's vagina will fall off"? I'd call you high, but that would be an insult to potheads.

 

[UltimateJustin]

Normally I try to be nice when it comes to stuff like this, but here goes.

Your script is awful and your title is even worse.

"You're gonna get raped so hard your dad's vagina will fall off"? I'd call you high, but that would be an insult to potheads.

Well that's your opinion and from what I can tell you're the only one who thinks that; my script is begining to get some significant buzz in Hollywood and outside of the States as well. I'm not saying that it's going to get made (fingers crossed) but I know it's not any worse than the real Spiderman 3, so chill out, bub, lol. If you don't like the script then why don't you offer suggestions as to what you think could improve it or better yet why don't I offer suggestions as to what could improve YOU:

1. Don't be afraid of new, original ideas.

2. Don't hate on other people's visions just cause you are used to the same old same old in your little suburban world and can't comprehend real drama. There's more to heroism then swinging in to save the day all the time; sometimes people get raped. Don't believe me? I don't care. I've seen it happen on the news. This script is for my hard R rated Spiderman feature that takes the franchise in a different direction. Is it scary? Yes. Is it shocking? You tell me. But one thing is for sure it's original and it's a breathing, organic piece of literature.

3. Go hang out on Mr. Shifty's thread.

4. Get outta my face.

5. Don't ever try to come in my dad's store, cause I'll probably be there and I'll tell him not to let you in.

6. And if you do get inside I'll call the cops.

 

[Drizzle]

Are you Uwe Boll?

 

[MrShifty]

3. Go hang out on Mr. Shifty's thread.

wtf??

 

[Drizzle]

Well that's your opinion and from what I can tell you're the only one who thinks that

If you read the other posts in this thread, you'd know I'm not the only one who thinks that.

my script is begining to get some significant buzz in Hollywood and outside of the States as well.

Bull****.

but I know it's not any worse than the real Spiderman 3

Yes it is. It's much worse. It's probably the worst piece of **** I've ever laid eyes on.

If you don't like the script then why don't you offer suggestions as to what you think could improve it.

You got it. Here's my suggestions:

This is a portion of my script I'm working on for Spiderman 4. I call it the Fire of the Dove's Eye for many reasons which will be revealed later on. At first the film is a mystery but then it becomes the regular kind of action/adventure/summer comedy that Spiderman is known for. I appreciate all comments and suggestions, thanks.

First of all, as I said before, the title is awful. Second, if you have a rape scene in it, then it's not a comedy.

Ent. Peter's Apt.

Peter Parker sits on his bed in his apartment. He is staring at the wall as usual.

PETER: Huh? Oh, I guess no one is there.

Peter continues to stare as the scene fades to black.

WTF? Why is he going "huh"? And why is he just staring at the goddamn wall?

Ext. New York City skyline, 6:30pm

The citizens of New York are out and about, seemingly in a hurry.

HOT GIRL: Hey boys. I think it's going to rain. That's why everyone appears to be in a hurry.

BLACK TEEN #1: Shut up, hot ass girl. Like anybody, ANYBODY, ever cared what you think?

BLACK TEEN #2: Let's rob her!

HISP. TEEN: No, let's rape that girl instead!

BLACK TEEN #2: Why?

BLACK TEEN #1: Why? Cause thats just what we do. Thats just what we do.

Okay, first things first. Why in the blue **** would a chick just go up to three random (and apparently dangerous) strangers and say "Hey, I think everyone's in a hurry because it's gonna rain." Why the **** would she need to explain that to people?

And why do the rapists have to be minorities? You racist or something?

Zoom in on the hot girl's face. Her eyes are huge. Her gentle, delicate hands clutch onto her face cheeks.

HOT GIRL: Ohhhh noo!!!

HISP. TEEN: You shut up or you're gonna get raped so hard your dad's vagina'll fall off!

This has gotta be a joke. Porn movies don't even have dialogue that's this bad.

HOT GIRL: Spiderman! Help me!

BLACK TEEN #1: He. Ain't. Coming.

The vicious trio approach the girl as the camera pans up.

HOT GIRL screams. We hear rape noises as the scene fades to black.

Yeah, that's real appropriate for a superhero movie. Instead of saving the girl from getting raped, Spider-Man's at home staring at the ****ing wall.

A newspaper FLIES toward the screen, the headline reads "Ancient Artifact to Appear at Museum Exhibit"

Of course! What better way to follow up a rape scene than an old school spinning newspaper?

Peter Parker enters the office.

JJJ: What are you doing here?

PETER: Sir, I have pictures of that girl who was raped in that alley last night.

JJJ: What?

PETER: Huh?

Wait a minute. Peter was at the rape scene, but instead of saving the girl he just took pictures? That goes against everything Spider-Man stands for.

JJJ: Peter, I wan't you to get to the museum. Haven't you heard, theres a priceless artifact, some kind of rare Egyption dove that is said to have magical powers and that all who possess this "dove" as they call it will gain the ability to see into the souls of men. Get down there this instant! What am I paying you for?!?

PETER: I'm on it, sir!

What is this, the ****ing Mummy?

Please tell me this is all an elaborate joke.

 

[batman11]

Drizzle, I'd get off his back man. Some insiders at Sony I know told me they're really high on his script. I've even been told the big twist, so don't read on if you don't wanna be spoiled.






Apparently, Aunt May gets raped at a carnival with a resurrected Doc Ock. I know, crazy right? Huuuuge twist. Sony would be stupid not to pick up this screenplay, however, they don't think the title conveys enough rape. You may wanna work on that Justin...







...and you may wanna go see a therapist.


In all seriousness though, isn't the violent sexual content in the first post against some sort of Hype rules? I'm not familiar with the fan fiction requirements, but surely something as derogatory as the "rape scene" is against a policy...isn't it?

 

[AnimatedFury]

If you read the other posts in this thread, you'd know I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Bull****.

Yes it is. It's much worse. It's probably the worst piece of **** I've ever laid eyes on.

You got it. Here's my suggestions:

First of all, as I said before, the title is awful. Second, if you have a rape scene in it, then it's not a comedy.


WTF? Why is he going "huh"? And why is he just staring at the goddamn wall?


Okay, first things first. Why in the blue **** would a chick just go up to three random (and apparently dangerous) strangers and say "Hey, I think everyone's in a hurry because it's gonna rain." Why the **** would she need to explain that to people?

And why do the rapists have to be minorities? You racist or something?


This has gotta be a joke. Porn movies don't even have dialogue that's this bad.

Yeah, that's real appropriate for a superhero movie. Instead of saving the girl from getting raped, Spider-Man's at home staring at the ****ing wall.

Of course! What better way to follow up a rape scene than an old school spinning newspaper?


Wait a minute. Peter was at the rape scene, but instead of saving the girl he just took pictures? That goes against everything Spider-Man stands for.

What is this, the ****ing Mummy?

Please tell me this is all an elaborate joke.

An on-point analysis.

 

[UltimateJustin]

In all seriousness though, isn't the violent sexual content in the first post against some sort of Hype rules? I'm not familiar with the fan fiction requirements, but surely something as derogatory as the "rape scene" is against a policy...isn't it?

First of all, no, none of those alleged spoilers about Aunt May are in the real script. Secondly, no, NO, I'm not breaking any rules cause you don't even know if that rape sequence really happend or if it's part of the mystery. MYSTERY. Ooohhhh. And no, I'm not racist, I have plans for all this stuff, all these apparently different exciting plot points ARENT just put in there to keep the audiences on the edge of their seats, they have purpose and all weave together into the larger developing plot with the Dove statue if you're following. Think like TDK or something akin to an opera (greek not italian). In fact that's one word that people who have read my finished treatment have actually used to describe it, "operatic".

Anyway just chill there is more to come.

 

[Harlekin]

I love it.

 

[batman11]

First of all, no, none of those alleged spoilers about Aunt May are in the real script. Secondly, no, NO, I'm not breaking any rules cause you don't even know if that rape sequence really happend or if it's part of the mystery. MYSTERY. Ooohhhh. And no, I'm not racist, I have plans for all this stuff, all these apparently different exciting plot points ARENT just put in there to keep the audiences on the edge of their seats, they have purpose and all weave together into the larger developing plot with the Dove statue if you're following. Think like TDK or something akin to an opera (greek not italian). In fact that's one word that people who have read my finished treatment have actually used to describe it, "operatic".

Anyway just chill there is more to come.

If the treatment is in fact finished, can we see the whole thing? Why hesitate to post it? I'm interested in this bad boy, but I'm kinda pissed my Sony insider was wrong about the Aunt May thing. I'm gonna have to call him up and have a talk with him about releasing false information.

I'm curious though, as to why you claim the rape is a mystery, when we in fact hear rape noises. I mean, if anything constitutes rape, it's 100% the noises, so how could that not be a real rape? Were the noises fake? Am I the only one who thinks the rape noises will play into the script later on? They must be significant. Also, if the twist doesn't involve Aunt May, does it somehow involve Sony allowing you to spell Spider-Man without the hyphen? Is the real twist that the movie is about "Spiderman" and not "Spider-Man"? I mean, why else would Sony even consider this treatment if the title character's name is spelled wrong? There must be more to this. I can't wait any longer for more, I'm too excited! Every time I re-read your script, I can't help but think of the word "operatic". It's a shame we didn't have you penning Spider-Man 3, it would have been ten times better, and you probably could've slipped a scene after the credits with rape noises, hinting at the mystery plot of the next film, cause we all think of mystery every time we hear rape noises. Amazing!

Spoiler

 

[UltimateJustin]

If the treatment is in fact finished, can we see the whole thing? Why hesitate to post it? I'm interested in this bad boy, but I'm kinda pissed my Sony insider was wrong about the Aunt May thing. I'm gonna have to call him up and have a talk with him about releasing false information.

I'm curious though, as to why you claim the rape is a mystery, when we in fact hear rape noises. I mean, if anything constitutes rape, it's 100% the noises, so how could that not be a real rape? Were the noises fake? Am I the only one who thinks the rape noises will play into the script later on? They must be significant. Also, if the twist doesn't involve Aunt May, does it somehow involve Sony allowing you to spell Spider-Man without the hyphen? Is the real twist that the movie is about "Spiderman" and not "Spider-Man"? I mean, why else would Sony even consider this treatment if the title character's name is spelled wrong? There must be more to this. I can't wait any longer for more, I'm too excited! Every time I re-read your script, I can't help but think of the word "operatic". It's a shame we didn't have you penning Spider-Man 3, it would have been ten times better, and you probably could've slipped a scene after the credits with rape noises, hinting at the mystery plot of the next film, cause we all think of mystery every time we hear rape noises. Amazing!

Spoiler

Yes, all of the points you made get explained later. And if I released the treatment that would be like dropping every spoiler there is and it would ruin the reader's enjoyment of the script. You have to take it peice by peice, turn by turn to really have the true Fire of the Dove's Eye effect.

 

[UltimateJustin]

PART II:

Ext. Mary-Jane's apartment building. Overlooking a busy New York street, 7:00pm.

Cars whiz by.

Ent. Mary-Jane Watson's bedroom. Mary-Jane is chatting on the phone, wearing a towel as she prepares to shower.

MARY-JANE: Oh, I know. I Know. What?! He would.. Oh, I KNOW!

Mary-Jane enters the BATHROOM. She looks in the shower.

MARY-JANE: Hmm, that's strange. Oh, nothing. I just thought I had some RASPBERRY VITAMIN SHAMPOO in the shower. I must have misplaced it.

She opens the sink cabinet.

MARY-JANE: That's weird. Liz, I have to call you back.

The phone clicks off. Mary-Jane scutters around the room looking for the shampoo bottle. She searches the cabinets then checks the shower again.

MARY-JANE: Weird.

She places her right hand upon her chin, thinking.

MARY-JANE: That's so weird.

Mary-Jane continues to think, staring in the mirror. She thinks really hard.

Mary-Jane thinks it's really weird that the shampoo bottle is missing. She sighs and looks in the mirror.

MARY-JANE: Hmm. Maybe in the cabinets.

Mary-Jane kneels down onto one knee and again searches the lower cabinets, this time more frantically.

MARY-JANE: No. No. Thats not it.

She tosses various toiletries aside. They make soft to medium sized clunking noises as she tosses them behind her shoulder. In the chaos her towel begins to lose its hold around her pert breasts.

MARY-JANE: Oh no you don't!

Mary-Jane fixes and tightens the towel. She begins to stand up.

MARY-JANE: That's better.

As she rises and views her reflection in the mirror we see that in her hand Mary-Jane holds a mostly full bottle of RASPBERRY VITAMIN SHAMPOO. The camera pans in leaning to one side and then pans out to the other side and then pans in to the original side.

Mary-Jane screams.

Ent. The Museum

SECURITY GUARD: Sorry sir, no one is allowed inside.

PETER: Huh?

SECURITY GUARD: Off-limits. Now get out of here, will ya?

PETER: Hi, I'm here to take pictures of the artifact.

SECURITY GUARD: Move along, buddy. Can't you see something terrible has happend to that Dove, the artifact?

The security guard breathes in then sighs deeply. He covers his eyes with his palm, rubs them gently.

SECURITY GUARD: There's been... a break in.

PETER: You idiot! Why didn't you stop it!

SECURITY GUARD: I'm sorry! I couldn't.

PETER: Who took it? Who took that Dove, anyway?

SECURITY GUARD: My name is Rex.

PETER: Okay.

REX: The guy what took the thing, he had this crazy... I don't know how to describe it. On his back, long.. And, and green, with a... oh. Oh, my...

Security Guard Rex wobbles briefly then faints into Peter's arms.

PETER: Somebody get an ambulance! Get this man a blanket!

Police officials rush to help the man. Peter's eyes are determined and yet curious.

PETER: I wonder what he was going to say next. I wonder if... no. He couldn't have meant that the guy what took this thing had a... tail?!? Cool it Peter, you're starting to sound like you're losing it too. Stay calm, bro.

Peter's cell phone rings. He casually reaches into his backpack and flips it open, pressing it to his ear.

PETER: Huh?

CAPTAIN STACY: Peter Parker. This is Captain Stacy. Mary-Jane has been taken to the hospital.

Peter's eyes glow.

 

[red hood 4]

Ah yes now things get interesting good stuff.

 

[thejon93]

This is a portion of my script I'm working on for Spiderman 4. I call it the Fire of the Dove's Eye for many reasons which will be revealed later on. At first the film is a mystery but then it becomes the regular kind of action/adventure/summer comedy that Spiderman is known for. I appreciate all comments and suggestions, thanks.

PART 1:


Ent. Peter's Apt.

Peter Parker sits on his bed in his apartment. He is staring at the wall as usual.

PETER: Huh? Oh, I guess no one is there.

Peter continues to stare as the scene fades to black.

Ext. New York City skyline, 6:30pm

The citizens of New York are out and about, seemingly in a hurry.

HOT GIRL: Hey boys. I think it's going to rain. That's why everyone appears to be in a hurry.

BLACK TEEN #1: Shut up, hot ass girl. Like anybody, ANYBODY, ever cared what you think?

BLACK TEEN #2: Let's rob her!

HISP. TEEN: No, let's rape that girl instead!

BLACK TEEN #2: Why?

BLACK TEEN #1: Why? Cause thats just what we do. Thats just what we do.

Zoom in on the hot girl's face. Her eyes are huge. Her gentle, delicate hands clutch onto her face cheeks.

HOT GIRL: Ohhhh noo!!!

HISP. TEEN: You shut up or you're gonna get raped so hard your dad's vagina'll fall off!

BLACK TEEN #1: Now we're talking!

HOT GIRL: Spiderman! Help me!

BLACK TEEN #1: He. Ain't. Coming.

The vicious trio approach the girl as the camera pans up.

HOT GIRL screams. We hear rape noises as the scene fades to black.

A newspaper FLIES toward the screen, the headline reads "Ancient Artifact to Appear at Museum Exhibit"

Ent. The Office of J. Jonah Jameson

JJJ: I want pictures. I want stories. I want action. I run a newspaper.

Peter Parker enters the office.

JJJ: What are you doing here?

PETER: Sir, I have pictures of that girl who was raped in that alley last night.

JJJ: What?

PETER: Huh?

JJJ: Peter, I wan't you to get to the museum. Haven't you heard, theres a priceless artifact, some kind of rare Egyption dove that is said to have magical powers and that all who possess this "dove" as they call it will gain the ability to see into the souls of men. Get down there this instant! What am I paying you for?!?

PETER: I'm on it, sir!

WTF?!

This is the perfect time to promote MY 'Spider-Man 4' script.

thejon93's 'Spider-Man 4' Script:
http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=307816

 

[batman11]

Awesome post Justin! It's just getting better and better! Can't wait for more, although I was a tad disappointed with the lack of rape noises in your recent post. I thought that was gonna be the central focus of the film? Oh well. I guess I can still try to enjoy it.

 

[MrShifty]

I don't know if your being serious bro. But if you hint at rape rather than come flat out with it, it makes it much more scarier.

 

[batman11]

I don't know if your being serious bro. But if you hint at rape rather than come flat out with it, it makes it much more scarier.

Are you talking to me?

 

[MrShifty]

nah the writer of the story bro.
I don't know why he mentioned me though.

 

[batman11]

nah the writer of the story bro.
I don't know why he mentioned me though.

Ahh okay cool. Just making sure you didn't actually think I was serious in all my posts.

 

[MrShifty]

no biggie