The best joker quotes

[Professor Joker]

What is your favorite joker quote?

 

[Comics N' Toons]

If you gotta go, go with a smile...

 

[drillmaster]

YOU KILLED CAPTAIN CLOWN?!

Well that was fun, who's up for Chinese?

 

[bulletbillx]

I cant pick just one favorite, sorry:

"You shot me in the leg! How will I walk...oh, just like your daughter. Good one, Commissioner! (laughing)"

"They could put me in a helicopter and fly me up into the air and line up the bodies head to toe on the ground in delightful geometric patterns like an endless June Taylor dancers routine—and it would never be enough. No, I don’t keep count. But you do. And I love you for it."

"In my dream, the world had suffered a terrible disaster. A black haze shut out the sun, and the darkness was alive with the moans and screams of wounded people. Suddenly, a small light glowed. A candle flickered into life, symbol of hope for millions. A single tiny candle, shining in the ugly dark. I laughed and blew it out."

"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? You had a bad day and everything changed" - Batman: The Killing Joke

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Batman_(comics)#The_Joker

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Batman_Beyond:_Return_of_the_Joker

 

[Qoèlet]

I liked this one from Legends of the Dark Knight #200. Having flatlined at the hospital before Batman and the doctors saved his life, the Joker's making his escape.
"Where have I been? Did I dream it? There were angels and serene music. I was drawn towards a blinding light. I've never been more frightened in my life. It was horrible."

Then he had a couple little gems in Hush. When Batman's beating him, intending to kill him after he apparently murdered Tommy Elliot (each "stop" is punctuated by more of Batman's memories, and another panel of him beating the Joker):
"Stop....stop....stop...stop...stop....stop...stop...Batman...Stop...me...if you've heard this one before"

Not too long later, the Joker's running away with Batman in hot pursuit, intent on murdering him:
"Help! Wildman! Madman!... BATTYMAN!"

 

[BubbaGump]

"Someone call the cops!"

 

[MaskedManJRK]

"I did it! I finally killed Batman! In front of a bunch of vulnerable, disabled kids! Now--BRING ME SANTA CLAUS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 

[Professor Joker]

This one actually made me laugh out loud.


(As Nightwing pummels him) "Aw... Jeez... I hit Jason a lot harder than that. (Pause) His name was Jason, right?" - Joker: Last Laugh #6

 

[The Joker]

"My that was fun. Kinda' messy though" - The Joker after he beat Jason Todd to a pulp with a crowbar.

"My mistake. Here I was hoping for the rambunctious rodent. And I get the WWF reject instead" - The Joker in 'No Man's Land' when Bane shows up instead of Batman to stop Joker destroying Lexcorp's construction sites

 

[IRON_Lad]

"You shot me in the leg! How will I walk...oh, just like your daughter. Good one, Commissioner! (laughing)"

 

[the GRIN Reaper]

He hasn't had MANY great ones in the comics believe it or not.

 

[deathfromabove]

He hasn't had MANY great ones in the comics believe it or not.

huh??? i don't believe it.

 

[Nepenthes]

"Someone call the cops!"

I was gonna say this one



from DKR

"I don't keep count. But you do. And I love you for it"

 

[the GRIN Reaper]

huh??? i don't believe it.

He's had a few funny quotes, but nothing truly iconic or defining.

 

[The Denialist]

"Drown the kids and shoot the neighbors! We've got a winner!"

"An iced tea would be fantastic. I don't know about you, but I've always found police brutality really makes you thirsty."

 

[SenseiofCheese]

He's had a few funny quotes, but nothing truly iconic or defining.

I'd say 'Why so serious?' has become a truly iconic and defining Joker quote.

 

[TruerToTheCore]

"if you gotta go, go with a smile"

well, that was actually his plastic surgeon

 

[Qoèlet]

"An iced tea would be fantastic. I don't know about you, but I've always found police brutality really makes you thirsty."

Heh. Gotham Central, right?

 

[Majic Walrus]

"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum...and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight...stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daredn't make the leap. Y'see...y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea...He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... he says 'What do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!'" - Batman: The Killing Joke

 

[The Denialist]

Heh. Gotham Central, right?

Correct! Great series.

 

[Tree27]

Batman Black and White:

Joker- I'm the joker for chrissakes. Roseanne's funnier than me.
Batman- I think her writers are better paid.
Joker-whatever.

Another from black and white:

Joker- Hey, that splash pannel where you came through the window, that was just the coolest....I never get panels like that.

Batman: So? You get to make speeches. I don't get to make speeches.

Joker- Well, you're the strong silent type, i'm the crazed speech making type.

Batman: Yeah. And?

Joker: what the hell, at least we're both still working.

 

[Tree27]

wait! I forgot a few!

ANOTHER from black and white:

Joker- thats showbiz. when I told my mother i was thinking of being a comic book character, she just screamed at me. "what kind of a job is that?" she wanted to know....I said to her, mom, this is my DREAM, y'know?



SECRETS:

Joker- talking to batman, FINALLY getsBatman to confess his secret)- wait--i don't get it. what kind of a crummy secret is THAT?! my humiliating secret is why i killed a district attorney, and all you give me in trade is some stupid dead-animal story?!



Arkham Asylum:

Joker- APRIL FOOLS! YOUR WIFE'S DEAD AND THE BABY'S A SPASTIC!!


Barbera (after getting shot)- w-why are you doing this. ( or something like that)
Joker- To prove a point. Heres to crime! (drinks a shot)



ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #8-

J- Gotham City CRIES. Gotham is an ugly city. Full of SHAME, Far beyond REDEMTION.
She's a sad old ****E. But she's beautiful when she CRIES.
...I LOVE her when she CRIES,.....I love her only when she cries.



RIP # 676- Another...Pretty....Flower.

 

[Tree27]

Secret Files and Origins: joker and green lantern.

J- i missed my true calling, don't you think? i must've been out and the MACHINE picked up....So tragic. But atleast I finally got my chance to play broadway.

GL- Trying to electrocute the cast of "Cats" ISEN'T playing BROADWAY.

j It's a public service! They should give me an AWARD! A TONY!....
Give me two TONYS and i'll open up a pizza joint. HAH!



Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder:

J- MUD- PIES! HUNDEREDS OF MUD-PIES! AND THEY'RE ALL MINE! HA-HA-HA-HA!

 

[Shogun89]

He's had a few funny quotes, but nothing truly iconic or defining.

I dunno, I think

"In my dream, the world had suffered a terrible disaster. A black haze shut out the sun, and the darkness was alive with the moans and screams of wounded people. Suddenly, a small light glowed. A candle flickered into life, symbol of hope for millions. A single tiny candle, shining in the ugly dark. I laughed and blew it out."

is pretty defining

 

[Blitzkrieg Bop]

"You see, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve."