The Crow Reboot

[blueharvest]

Wow. That's even less than the Borderlands movie did on its opening weekend.

 

[The Shape]

Very sad, but par for the course for this franchise. Every subsequent entry after the original has been a commercial and critical failure. At least it got a theatrical release.

 

[Daywalker89]

Saw it on Friday and couldn't be bothered to give a review. The only plus was Bill Skarsgard low body fat percentage (lower than 10% which is quite impressive from a fitness point of view) and The Opera fight scene which was quite violent. The rest of it however was a souless trainwreck. Like most of Hollywoods back alley trash unfortunately.

 

[Deck Rickard]

How long after this bombs do you guys think it'll take this to hit VOD? I'm betting three days.

Fixed.

 

[Joe Von Zombie]

Someone's probably gonna lose their job over this one.

 

[Drizzle]

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

I had no expectations for her performance, but FKA Twigs is awful as Shelly. Madonna in the early 2000s bad. The dialogue is ridiculous, but she struggles with it more than anyone else in the cast. Bill Skarsgård was a bit of a disappointment, the character is surprisingly forgettable, beyond the styling and just how beautiful he looks in general. I do love the emo vibes of the movie and the aesthetic. The unintentional humor is sublime as well. The Crow is presented as this romantic, tragic, and very dramatic story, but none of it registers. The real problem is the second act, a tedious waste of time that reeks of budgetary issues. The third act is fun, with its John Wick drenched in gore set pieces. If there had been more of that, less talking, and a soundtrack filled with mumble rap and k-pop (as clearly intended), perhaps they'd have something.

I don’t like yall. I SCREAMED.

 

[TheVileOne]

I can't believe after almost 20 years, this is what they came up. Supposedly cost $50 million, but looked like low budget direct to video garbage. A cast of people look like randos they just picked off the street. No one had any presence in the supporting cast. Awful dialogue.

By the time Eric actually becomes The Crow, the movie is nearly over. They focused more on Eric and Shelly's romance, which feels even more hollow by comparison. They know each other for five minutes, ditch rehab, start doing drugs and having sex. Like they barely knew each other for five minutes and I'm supposed to believe they have this transcendent love? It felt like Shelly was using Eric out of convenience to stay away from her pursuers.

Danny Huston was a lame, one-note villain. No threat or menace at all. Why does he even care about the video? Lame McGuffin.

 

[TheVileOne]

Saw it on Friday and couldn't be bothered to give a review. The only plus was Bill Skarsgard low body fat percentage (lower than 10% which is quite impressive from a fitness point of view) and The Opera fight scene which was quite violent. The rest of it however was a souless trainwreck. Like most of Hollywoods back alley trash unfortunately.

Dude certainly didn't have the physique of a trainwreck junkie who never picked up a gun in his life or had no idea how to fight.

 

[Luigi]

Lionsgate is pulling up to Keanu's house as we speak.

 

[TheVileOne]

Lionsgate executives whispering to Keanu:

"Till you're 90!"

 

[Drizzle]

Lionsgate is pulling up to Keanu's house as we speak.

Lionsgate executives whispering to Keanu:

"Till you're 90!"

Since their last "big movie" slated for this year is Megalopolis, it makes total sense that they're going to keep cranking out John Wick movies and Hunger Games spinoffs.

 

[Deck Rickard]

Lionsgate should just say eff it and do a big movie crossover. John Wick and the Crow team up to fight the big statues in Megalopolis or something.

 

[Drizzle]

Lionsgate should just say eff it and do a big movie crossover. John Wick and the Crow team up to fight the big statues in Megalopolis or something.

I got it: John Wick in the Hunger Games.

 

[Joe Von Zombie]

I'm just glad it's done and over with. It's spectacularly failed and they hopefully won't try thus again for another 30 years.

 

[WereCoyote]

My theater isn't even showing it.

 

[TheVileOne]

I'm just glad it's done and over with. It's spectacularly failed and they hopefully won't try thus again for another 30 years.

You know, I'd be open to this being attempted again, just not in this way. But yeah chances are it won't be tried again for a long time.

It's just so disappointing to me that after so many years and false starts, this is what they come up with and it looks so bad and cheaply done.

When Bradley Cooper first got announced for The Crow in 2011, I thought it was kind of interesting. And honestly, when I first heard Bill Skarsgard was playing The Crow, I was at least somewhat intrigued, until Is tarted seeing images and the trailer.

 

[Joe Von Zombie]

You know, I'd be open to this being attempted again, just not in this way. But yeah chances are it won't be tried again for a long time.

It's just so disappointing to me that after so many years and false starts, this is what they come up with and it looks so bad and cheaply done.

When Bradley Cooper first got announced for The Crow in 2011, I thought it was kind of interesting. And honestly, when I first heard Bill Skarsgard was playing The Crow, I was at least somewhat intrigued, until Is tarted seeing images and the trailer.

I would have loved to have seen this adapted.

 

[TheVileOne]

Yes, maybe if you go back to the IP again consider avoiding the original graphic novel and other stories. At least James O'Barr worked on that one.

 

[AndrewGilkison]

Who the hell is running Lionsgate?

 

[Joe Von Zombie]

Yes, maybe if you go back to the IP again consider avoiding the original graphic novel and other stories. At least James O'Barr worked on that one.

Indeed. The Crow is a concept that while incredibly simple, lends itself well to telling just about any story you can imagine. The fact that Hollywood is unwilling to move the property forward is just sad.

 

[blueharvest]

 

[Kane52630]

My theater isn't even showing it.

My theater was lucky it had had three screenings.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

I didn't hate this, in fact, me and my family enjoyed it a lot more than we were expecting too.

The design choices of the main characters still aren't great. But Skarsgard brings the good in terms of acting throughout, and I found his relationship with FKA Twigs as Shelly quite touching. Romances like this do happen, you meet each other and then bam.

Of course this couple is going to meet tragedy. I thought it took a bit too long for Eric to become the Crow. But I liked that the movie explored the spiritual side of things a bit more. I thought Eric heading back and forth from purgatory was a nice touch as well.

The opera shoot out was nice and epic also. The villains were poor. Huston brought nothing to add to his character and the other villains weren't a patch on the original. None of the movie is a patch on the original really but it does things differently enough for me to enjoy. I think this might it's own niche audience in years to come.

6.5/10

 

[Joe Von Zombie]

SPOILERS