The OFFICIAL: "Confess My Secrets", thread.

[douglas]

I have cooties.

 

[Golgo-13]

It's completely psychological. I don't see any reason biologically a male wouldn't be turned on by his hot mother (assuming he had one) if he didn't 1) know it was his mother and/or 2) wasn't raised in a culture in which incest or incestual thoughts or instincts were taboo.

Anyone ever have unexpected and unwanted sexual dreams about your not-so-hot mother or semi-hot sister and wake up feeling really horrible?

yeah that's what i thought it's psychological. What if your mom was carmen electra..there's no way she wouldn't be hot. That was the point i was trying to make. But some of you tattle tails cried to the mods and got the thread removed...bastards!

 

[Herr Logan]

yeah that's what i thought it's psychological. What if your mom was carmen electra..there's no way she wouldn't be hot. That was the point i was trying to make. But some of you tattle tails cried to the mods and got the thread removed...bastards!

Yeah, that's really weak.I never saw this thread, but unless there's something you aren't telling me about it, it seems that there's no reason an even remotely mature person would try to remove the thread. Hell, I see plenty of threads that offend me, and I either jump in and tell it like it is, or I stay away. Tattling when it comes to talking about taboo subjects is a personal failure.

 

[MutantCircus]

I have some friends who are making this video called "God's Girls Gone Wild." In other words, they're going into churches with video cameras and getting naked. No, I'm not kidding. And no, they're not hot.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

Another secret of mine is that I can whistle, hum, and tap with my foot to any song. Lately I've been doing march of the imperials a lot.

 

[Herr Logan]

I hope you guys won't laugh at me too much, but I sometimes dip potato chips in ketchup and then eat them.

Oh, and I have a dead strangled hooker stowed away in my parents' basement that they haven't yet found.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

i used to put potatoe chips in my bagel. Then I found out about butter.

 

[Jennifer Lopez]

I eat pretty much the same thing every day. And I'm totally cool with that.

 

[Brodie Bruce]

I hope you guys won't laugh at me too much, but I sometimes dip potato chips in ketchup and then eat them.

Oh, and I have a dead strangled hooker stowed away in my parents' basement that they haven't yet found.

Teh Rocking

 

[vibeke_T]

i am john titor

 

[MutantCircus]

I hope you guys won't laugh at me too much, but I sometimes dip potato chips in ketchup and then eat them.

I have plenty of friends who do that. They've even convinced me to try it. I can't stand it, though. Tastes disgusting.

 

[michael jordan]

I do the potato chip and ketchup thing too, am I considered weird ?

 

[MutantCircus]

I do the potato chip and ketchup thing too, am I considered weird ?

As a person, no. But you have weird taste.

 

[michael jordan]

Oh ok, thanks for setting that straight.

 

[MutantCircus]

Oh ok, thanks for setting that straight.

No prob. You also have a little toe fungus, but you know how to please the ladies. Oh, and you're getting a raise next week, but you'll be fired in two months.

 

[michael jordan]

hahahaha, that is straight badooodles !!! badooooodles = excellent !!!

 

[Carmine Falcone]

no more secrets?

 

[MutantCircus]

I'm fresh out.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

i have a secret. but its not really a secret, just something incredibly disgusting.

I went to the bathroom this morning and saw a little bundle of toilet paper by the bottom of the bowl. i go to pick it up to toss it out. i turn it a bit and i see blood. And I immediately think of what it might be, whose it is, and why. I throw it in the toilet bowl. i washed my hands for a good 5 min. It was incredibly disguting.

 

[Golgo-13]

That is disgusting spidey-boy 523!

This next secret of mine happened when i was about 20, i was in the military and overseas in Germany:

i had a room mate in the army whose was pretty cool. One morning he complained that he was feeling sick, so i left for work by myself (we usually walked to work together). Anyhow about 3 hours later i got a little free time, and decided to check on my roomy to see if he was feeling better. He must have not heard my key opening our door as he didn't move for a hot second. As i open the door there he is ..in full glory...his stick in his hand, plastered with vasaline and he was beating away at it like his life depended on it as he watched some porno flick on the television! I was so shocked by the site of him jerking off that i literally stood there with my mouth wide open! I mean this guy was choking his chicken like he had a persoanlly vendetta with the thing,,i mean the scene just looked horribly violent. Anyway when he realized i was standing there, he jumped up and begged me not to tell a soul. Still in a state of shock, i agreed.

Weeks went by and i kept giggling to myself while at work. People started to think i was crazy..i couldn't keep this to myself anymore..i told someone..and as you suspect, the word spread like wildfire.

A few more weeks went by and my unit was having a weekend barbaque, we were all outside chilling having a good time, enjoying the food the music and whatnot. Anyway, we were all lined up to get us a plate of food. The barbaqued chicken was on a plate and it's normal courtesy to use a napkin to pick it up. Well my room mate reached out with his bare hand to pick up a piece of chicken..and this loud mouth girl in my unit screamed out..."GET YOU DICK JERKING HANDS OFF THE GOD DAMN CHICKEN!"

The entire party went silent. The music cut off and everything..all eyes were on him.

He looked around ..looked at me...and he started to tear up as he walked way with his head down.

He never said a word to me after that, not one word. 3 weeks later he transfered to another unit...i never saw him again....i felt so bad for him..i've never forgiven myself for not keeping his secret.

I have more secrets from my military time but i'll post them another time.

 

[Herr Logan]

I have plenty of friends who do that. They've even convinced me to try it. I can't stand it, though. Tastes disgusting.

I knew you wouldn't understand.

 

[Herr Logan]

That is disgusting spidey-boy 523!

This next secret of mine happened when i was about 20, i was in the military and overseas in Germany:

i had a room mate in the army whose was pretty cool. One morning he complained that he was feeling sick, so i left for work by myself (we usually walked to work together). Anyhow about 3 hours later i got a little free time, and decided to check on my roomy to see if he was feeling better. He must have not heard my key opening our door as he didn't move for a hot second. As i open the door there he is ..in full glory...his stick in his hand, plastered with vasaline and he was beating away at it like his life depended on it as he watched some porno flick on the television! I was so shocked by the site of him jerking off that i literally stood there with my mouth wide open! I mean this guy was choking his chicken like he had a persoanlly vendetta with the thing,,i mean the scene just looked horribly violent. Anyway when he realized i was standing there, he jumped up and begged me not to tell a soul. Still in a state of shock, i agreed.

Weeks went by and i kept giggling to myself while at work. People started to think i was crazy..i couldn't keep this to myself anymore..i told someone..and as you suspect, the word spread like wildfire.

A few more weeks went by and my unit was having a weekend barbaque, we were all outside chilling having a good time, enjoying the food the music and whatnot. Anyway, we were all lined up to get us a plate of food. The barbaqued chicken was on a plate and it's normal courtesy to use a napkin to pick it up. Well my room mate reached out with his bare hand to pick up a piece of chicken..and this loud mouth girl in my unit screamed out..."GET YOU DICK JERKING HANDS OFF THE GOD DAMN CHICKEN!"

The entire party went silent. The music cut off and everything..all eyes were on him.

He looked around ..looked at me...and he started to tear up as he walked way with his head down.

He never said a word to me after that, not one word. 3 weeks later he transfered to another unit...i never saw him again....i felt so bad for him..i've never forgiven myself for not keeping his secret.

I have more secrets from my military time but i'll post them another time.

Is this middle school or the military? Personally, I don't expect a lot of maturity out of the military when it comes to everyday issues, but is *********ion really that big a deal? Are we supposed to believe that normally no one does it there?

 

[Golgo-13]

It is the military.The army. and everybody does it. It's just the fact thay i caught the guy...then he put those same hands on the chicken that evryone was soppose to eat...besides that chick that yelled out was one of those loud mouth ghetto type *****es.

 

[Herr Logan]

I thought the barbeque was weeks after you caught the guy *********ing. Do people think he didn't wash his hands in weeks? Or was he supposed to use his other pair of hands for eating?

 

[michael jordan]

That is disgusting spidey-boy 523!

This next secret of mine happened when i was about 20, i was in the military and overseas in Germany:

i had a room mate in the army whose was pretty cool. One morning he complained that he was feeling sick, so i left for work by myself (we usually walked to work together). Anyhow about 3 hours later i got a little free time, and decided to check on my roomy to see if he was feeling better. He must have not heard my key opening our door as he didn't move for a hot second. As i open the door there he is ..in full glory...his stick in his hand, plastered with vasaline and he was beating away at it like his life depended on it as he watched some porno flick on the television! I was so shocked by the site of him jerking off that i literally stood there with my mouth wide open! I mean this guy was choking his chicken like he had a persoanlly vendetta with the thing,,i mean the scene just looked horribly violent. Anyway when he realized i was standing there, he jumped up and begged me not to tell a soul. Still in a state of shock, i agreed.

Weeks went by and i kept giggling to myself while at work. People started to think i was crazy..i couldn't keep this to myself anymore..i told someone..and as you suspect, the word spread like wildfire.

A few more weeks went by and my unit was having a weekend barbaque, we were all outside chilling having a good time, enjoying the food the music and whatnot. Anyway, we were all lined up to get us a plate of food. The barbaqued chicken was on a plate and it's normal courtesy to use a napkin to pick it up. Well my room mate reached out with his bare hand to pick up a piece of chicken..and this loud mouth girl in my unit screamed out..."GET YOU DICK JERKING HANDS OFF THE GOD DAMN CHICKEN!"

The entire party went silent. The music cut off and everything..all eyes were on him.

He looked around ..looked at me...and he started to tear up as he walked way with his head down.

He never said a word to me after that, not one word. 3 weeks later he transfered to another unit...i never saw him again....i felt so bad for him..i've never forgiven myself for not keeping his secret.

I have more secrets from my military time but i'll post them another time.

ROTFL, oh jesus I just spit out Kool-aide on the monitor man. That was hilarious.