Justice League The Official Justice League Caption Thread

[Lily Adler]

SUPERMAN: I can't believe it we'll finally save the Kryptonian race...

BARRY: Not the way you're doing it...

 

[Lily Adler]

DIANA: Okay I win 3 out of 5 pants off...

ARTHUR: Heh, I'm not complaining...

 

[Lily Adler]

CLARK: I don't know do you think we could all fit in here?

REALTOR: It's comes equipped with stainless steel appliances, walk-in closets, five and a half baths.

BRUCE: For 500,000 a month it's not bad for a space station/sattelite.

REALTOR: And it's in the most desired location. A lovely Asian couple is also interested...

CLARK: We'll take it...

REALTOR: Great! It's so wonderful to see a gay couple in these parts.

BRUCE: Wait we're not.

REALTOR: Oh I'm so sorry... Um let me go get the paperwork.

*exits room*

CLARK: Oh I see you don't think I'm good enough for you.

BRUCE: We're not having this conversation... AGAIN!

 

[Lily Adler]

SUPERMAN: Okay we just defeated Luthor and now we're starving...

WONDER WOMAN: Taco Bell anyone?

BATMAN: Good we'll meet up at Taco Bell. Break!

 

[Lily Adler]

CAPTAIN MARVEL: How can I become more popular with the GA and get my own live-action movie?

WALLY: You could do what Wonder Woman did and hook up with Supes.

 

[Lily Adler]

SUPERMAN: Seriously, where would you guys be without us. No one could replace us...

BARRY: Well, there's Power Girl, Green Arrow and Captain Marvel...

SUPERMAN: Well, I never thought of that Barry-- AHHHHHHH!!!!

Anyone else... Good.

NARRATOR: The real way Barry died...

 

[Panthro]

Funny stuff UF

SUPERMAN: "Yes, I slept with Diana/Wonder Woman, Lois Lane, Selina Kyle, Carol Ferris, Dinah Lance/Black Canary, Vicki Vale and Iris West. In that order. I saved Iris for last because she turned out to be the best."
BARRY FLASH: "You... You... Y-You- YOU BASTARD!!!"

 

[Lily Adler]

BRUCE: Clark stop looking at yourself in the mirror!

BARRY: Yeah, Savage is getting ready to detonate the reactor.

CLARK: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

BRUCE: Pfft. Narcissist.

 

[Lily Adler]

SUPERMAN: What are you thinking about?

LOIS: [Thinking] Don't say cutting off your mullet, don't say cutting off your mullet...

 

[Hotwire]

WW: So, you got a date for tonight?
GL: Ohh, yeah.

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff guys.

 

[ultimatefan]

GL: So, what does it mean if Brett Ratner directs our movie?

SUPERMAN: Does it mean I get killed off in the first ten minutes after doing nothing useful?

WW: Does it mean I´ll be "cured" from being an Amazon?

BATMAN: Does it mean I´ll literally say "I´m Batman, b****!"?

FLASH: Does it mean I´ll be a busty tatooed latina chick?

 

[Lily Adler]

CAPTAIN MARVEL: How can I become more popular with the GA and get my own live-action movie?

WALLY: You could do what Wonder Woman did and hook up with Supes.

CAPTAIN MARVEL: Hey I'm not that desparate--

SUPERMAN: Yet...

 

[Lily Adler]

DIANA: Clark when I agreed to be a surrogate for you and Lois, this wasn't what I had in mind.

CLARK: It's for Krypton...

LOIS: That's his answer for everything...

 

[Lily Adler]

BATMAN: Clark I've been meaning to ask you. Whatever happened to that 500,000 dollars I loaned you for the property taxes on the Fortress of Solitude?

SUPERMAN: Spent it on some beer, Doritos and shrinky dinks.

BATMAN: What! Why--

SUPERMAN: For Krypton...

FLASH: Okay who used my suit as a napkin?!?! Do you know how hard it is to get mustard stains out of spandex...

SUPERMAN: For Krypton!

GREEN LANTERN: Clark why did you use my ring to snake the drains and the toilet?

SUPERMAN: For Krypton!

REPORTER: Good evening, I'm Asian Reporter Tricia Takanawa. Standing right behind me is Star Labs, where scientists have discovered a newly formed planetoid that they have dubbed New Krypton. After being hurtled out into space by Superman after his last bout with Lex Luthor, the small meteor has grown to its current size. Unfortunately, due to Luthor compromising the stability of the crystals that created it, New Krypton is considered highly unstable. The only person who can save it would have to be someone with the access and the knowledge of Kryptonian technology...

CLARK: Not my problem...

 

[Lily Adler]

DIANA: This is what happens when you neglect a superheroine for so long!!!!

 

[Lily Adler]

EDIT: Nevermind

 

[Panthro]

Funny stuff guys.

GREEN LANTERN: "I wanna say it."
SUPERMAN: "I'm saying it."
GREEN LANTERN: "But I wanna say it!"
SUPERMAN: "Fine we'll say it at the same time. On 3. One... Two... Three."
GL & SUPERMAN: "To Infinity & Beyond!"

GREEN LANTERN: "What are we boys?"
FLASH/HM/MM: "Big Damn heroes Sir!"
GREEN LANTERN: "Well ain't we just?"

FLASH: "Are we there yet?"
BATMAN: "No."
FLASH: "Are we there yet?"
BATMAN: "No."
FLASH: "Are we there yet?"
BATMAN: "No!"
GREEN LANTERN: "Flash, we talked about this."
FLASH: "Right. Sorry. So... are we there yet?"
BATMAN: "Get out!"

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: "Yo! Where the Green Women At?!"
GREEN LANTERN: "...."

FLASH: "Does the computer really need to be this big in this day and age?"
BATMAN: "To contain this much porn? Yes."

GREEN LANTERN: "You! It was you wasn't it?! You sabotaged my movie! You sabotaged my marketing campaign! You really hate me that much that you just had to ruin my chances of having a successful solo franchise didn't you?! Huh?! Huh?!?!?! Answer me damn it!!!"
BATMAN: "H-Hal... you're being paranoid... when would even I have had time to access the necessary WB board members to make that happen?"

SUPERMAN: "See our movie when it comes out or else me and my posse are gonna [BLEEP] you up."
BATMAN: "My posse and I, Clark. My posse and I."
SUPERMAN: "Quiet you!"

BATMAN: "You were all in on this weren't you?"
SUPERMAN: "Of course we were."
WONDER WOMAN: "You've gotta admit it's funny Bruce!"

 

[Lily Adler]

MARVEL: Great I finally appear in the DCAU and I'm nothing more than an overly campy comic relief character.

LEX: No you're more than that, you are an expendable pawn in my plot to discredit Superman and the Justice League. Now you hold on to that...

 

[Panthro]

^^Hehehehehe

WONDER WOMAN: "Oh come on Wally, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
WALLY FLASH: "Easy for you to say."

BATMAN: "No no no no people like this!" [demonstrating dance moves] "One Two Three Step. One Two Three Step. One Two Three Step. One Two Three Step. Oh you're not even trying! And we open in less than a week!"

WONDER WOMAN: "I believe that's my spear you got there honey."

SUPERMAN: "J'onn, the first step in recovery is admitting that you have a problem."
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: "For the last time I am not addicted to Oreos! The very notion is absurd! That I of all sentient beings could become a slave to something so- so... so small... so round, so sweet... so delicate... melts in your mouth not in your hand..." [drools]
SUPERMAN: ""

SUPERMAN: "I'm sorry Ma'am, your resume's more than adequate but I'm afraid we're just not hiring right now. Especially from the competition."

JEAN GREY: "But I haven't had a steady gig in years! Not since that bleach blonde [BLEEP] slept her way into the role that was previously mine!"

BATMAN: "Whoa... this is blowing my mind..."
BAT-SUPERMAN: "Well, we have to get our team movie jump-started somehow."

BATMAN: "Damn it guys, the sky signals are my trademark! Mine!"

 

[Lily Adler]

WONDER WOMAN: Are you okay?

SUPERMAN: I'm alright, Wonder Girl.

WONDER WOMAN: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!

FLASH: Oh crap now she's going to go on another 'Almighty Uterus' rant.

WONDER WOMAN: Wonder Girl?!?! Wonder Girl?!?! See that's the problem with you men you have no respect for me as a woman. You have no respect for me or the almighty uterus.

BATMAN: See, this is why she doesn't have a movie...

WONDER WOMAN: ALMIGHTY UTERUS!!!!

 

[Panthro]

^^Hahahaha

The JLA That Never Was...

WONDER WOMAN: "C'mon who would you rather look at for two hours, a bunch of ripped to 'roided up guys in spandex or me?"

WONDER WOMAN: "What do you mean Lucy Lawless is too old to play me in a live action film?!"

BLACK CANARY: "So are we having a fling in the New 52 or not?"
BATMAN: "Does it really matter? Half the writing community thinks I'm incapable of having a steady relationship with anyone."

AQUAMAN: "Mr. Johns, I'd like to have a word with you about your decision to leave my book following issue 16."

JLA: "We want Peter Jackson to direct us! We want Peter Jackson to direct us!"

 

[Panthro]

ATOM: "Okay, Batman's running late, what do we do?"
AQUAMAN: "Let's go crazy Broadway style!"

AQUAMAN [singing]: "Out there is a world outside of Yonkers, way out there beyond this hick town, Barnaby! There's a slick town Barnaby! Out there! Full of shine and full of sparkle, close your eyes and see it glisten Barnaby! Listen Barnaby!"
ATOM: "Bats, how could you leave me alone with this maniac?!"

BATMAN: "I'm having problems of my own Atom!"

HAWKGIRL: "Okay, I admit it. I'm still a virgin."

HAWKGIRL: "Do you find that appealing?"

JOHN STEWART GL: "Oh definitely."

SUPERMAN: "Come on, name one hero who does this pose better than me. I dare ya."

 

[Lily Adler]

BATMAN: See this is what happens when we don't coordinate our clothing...

 

[Lily Adler]

^^Hehehehehe

WONDER WOMAN: "Oh come on Wally, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
WALLY FLASH: "Easy for you to say."

The cons of super speed.