Turtlefocker MEGA- film review. ***SPOILERS***
Time for another one of my Mega-reviews, to go along with my Live free or Die Hard and Transformers reviews
I still remember the very first Simpson's episode, which aired December 17th 1989. "Simpson's Roasting on an open fire". The animation was slightly messier than Simpson's fans are used to and Barney had yellow hair. Other than that not much has changed in the last 18 years. Now here is my review of the new film (which should be ignored by all those who haven't seen the movie or just don’t want to read a boring (or should I say awesome) review):
The film opens with Itchy and Scratchy in outer space, during the brief skit hundreds of nuclear warheads are shot at the moon. The shot of the warheads was seen in the trailers. Things like this annoy me, like congress blowing up in the Live Free or Die Hard trailers. It's just a minor pet peeve of mine that always bugs me.
We then pull back to reveal the back Homer's head. Homer then goes on to say the opening line of the film "Boring" – "I cant believe were paying to see something we get on T.V for free". Its funny although I feel like I have heard something similar in another movie. "If you ask me everybody in this theater is a giant sucker- especially you!" Homer points directly at the screen, it reminded me of Jay and Silent Bob Strike back in which the characters would say something like "who would pay to see that" then look at the screen (this could be what the earlier line reminded me of). It was funny in Smith's film and its funny here.
We fade to the classic Simpson's title shot, only this time Professor Frink is flying underneath it; a flag with Movie written on it attached behind him. He tries to go with the tune and 'sings "moviiieee on the bigg screeen"- that’s what we have paid to see.
We are then treated to an updated version of the T.V show opening. This time focussing more on the side characters rather that the main family. I think that is a good thing. Especially considering the fact that most of the side characters get shafted in this film.
We see Bart though, writing "I will not illegally download this movie" over and over again on the chalkboard. Its another wink at the audience and a funny one. There is no doubt in my mind that hundreds of people will download this movie rather than pay to see it on the big screen, This joke would probably be funnier to them than the paying audience.
We fade into Green Day playing at Lake Springfield. They're "singing" along to the Simpson's theme. Edna is being held up by Skinner and wearing a T-shirt that reads "he's not my boyfriend." I had a strange feeling at this point- I don’t think Edna or Skinner would be Green Day fans. Well actually I don’t think any self-respecting person would be a Green Day fan.
Green Day goes all preachy and tries to talk about Global Warming; thankfully Springfield Lake is polluted enough to destroy them. We cut to church in which Lovejoy is praying for the "latest rock band to die" in Springfield. The Simpson's arrive late. I didn’t find the dialog they had funny, the only funny part in the Church scean to me was Homer repeatedly saying "GAY". Grandpa gives his warning and we move on.
Marge is the only one who believes Grandpa.
I didn’t enjoy the parts with Homer hitting his eye and falling through the roof. It just wasn’t funny to me, it felt 'off'. I did enjoy however the part in which Homer puts the Hornets nest in Flanders' mailbox. It was the same classic one-sided rivalry between Homer and Flanders that has been in the show since the very beginning.
Homer ends up daring Bart to ride to Krusty burger and back "naked." It begins in the style of "Austin Powers" with random things covering up Bart's penis -then takes a twist and covers up everything but. A girl I was with said "awe cute" I thought this was weird but she's hot so I didn’t say anything (although i dont think I have a chance anyway).
Now comes the only part in the film, which I immediately recognized as CGI, its right before Lou shoots the gun. It bothered me a little because everything before it was classic animation.
While getting Bart off the glass, Lou says one of my many favorite lines in the film:
"listen kid nobody likes wearing cloths in public but it’s the law"
It was my first major laugh in the film.
We then get some more of Homer's bad parenting and Flanders' kindness. Also we are introduced to the "pig wearing a hat" later known as Spider-pig and the less funny "Harry Plopper".
By this point I was much more focussed on the film than before. The laughs started coming quicker and there was less of the downtime found in the first 15 minutes or so. The fishing part especially was very funny, and a dose of reality into the Simpson world when Bart says "What?? Your not strangling me"
By the time we get to "An Irritating Truth" we are about at the length of a regular episode. The Irritating Truth segment is rather funny and kept me entertained. The whole "we should hate kids" and "black is the worse color" were very funny.
The scene in which the lake was cleaned up was great to as was the dead body part. It reminded me of the episode "Bart The murderer" simply because of Fat Tony's presence. "Bart The Murderer" is one of my favorite episodes so being reminded of that is a good thing.
Homer saying to the pig "maybe we should kiss to break the tension" was a great moment and line. I am glad Marge came in though, I have no interest in watching them kiss.
After the "Harry Plopper" line I started wondering were Santa's little Helper was. After viewing the film I realize that he is only on screen twice. I would have liked to have seen him more often.
"Whoa that was close" great moment and perfectly in character.
The President Schwarzenegger bit was great but I think it would have worked better as President Wolfcastle I at least would have found that funnier than Schwarzenegger. We are also introduced to the main villain of the film a "man on a big T.V"
My favorite part of the film was when the people in the bar and the people in the Church "switched places". It's things like that which put Simpson's ABOVE everything else on t.v., or at least used to I don't really watch it anymore. It started getting stale around 2000 to me.
The movie really moves at a breakneck speed from here on out. Id be interested in watching a longer cut if it had more of the side characters. There are many many great lines and moments in the film like Grandpa being part of the mob, The President picking the number "2-"double it"-4", The Tom Hanks "If you're going to pick a government to trust why not this one", and the bomb defusing robot committing suicide.
Sadly with all those great comedic moments there are many that don’t work such as the Homer stuck between a rock and a hard place. But I think the funny parts out-number the tongue in cheek moments.
There is a cool reference of sorts to the episode "Bart the Daredevil" with the ambulance still crashed against the tree and then film ends with The Simpson's saving the day. Lisa finds love, Santa's little Helper shows up and Marge gets the best kiss of her life. So far.
My favorite "Simpson's" picture:
8/10 - I would have liked more screen time to have been given to the side-characters.
It's called dramatic irony: we know it was her second word and they don't.
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