They Really, Really, REALLY should've used the first draft...

[The Batman]

Or most of it. I cant blame Green, Berlanti, and Guggenheim for the final film, cause their first draft wouldve been a better movie than the one we got. Reading it just makes me upset at how the movie turned out.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

What good stuff was in the first draft? I don't remember and don't feel like searching.

 

[JerseyJoker]

If anything, they should of stuck with the idea of making Alan Scott the member of Checkmate to interact with Hector and Jordan instead of Amanda Waller.

 

[The Batman]

The reasoning for Hal getting into a fight with a bunch of guys was much better...and didnt make him look like an ass.

You got a better sense of history between Hal and Carol

The death of Hal's dad so much better its not even funny.

Hal and Sinestro actually had screentime together.


Corps vs Legion.

What happened? what made them butcher a decent script?

 

[Deaths Head II]

Maybe some of it was budget? At least the extra GL Corps stuff. I'm guessing Amanda Waller replaced Alan Scott to set her up as the Nick Fury of the DC universe. It sucks to know a better film was in the works at one point though.

 

[Herolee10]

Maybe some of it was budget? At least the extra GL Corps stuff. I'm guessing Amanda Waller replaced Alan Scott to set her up as the Nick Fury of the DC universe. It sucks to know a better film was in the works at one point though.

1. Even if it was budget, imho it doesn't give them a excuse to drop the quality in the writing. The only thing that the budget should effect is the scope of the action presented in the film, and not the quality of the writing and I say this as a writer myself

2. If they were trying to go for a Amanda Waller=DC's Nick Fury route, then they really failed since I didn't get that vibe whatsoever and using Scott would have been better imho. Not once did I get the vibe that there was a larger DC Hero universe out in the world of GL like the Marvel Studios's films we've seen.

 

[solidsnake86]

Or most of it. I cant blame Green, Berlanti, and Guggenheim for the final film, cause their first draft wouldve been a better movie than the one we got. Reading it just makes me upset at how the movie turned out.

Agreed, the first draft had some really good stuff. Hector was also developed in it more then he was in the actual movie which is funny because some of the original complaints of the script were exactly that. The stuff with his father was also a lot better. Oh well not much that can be done now.

 

[Deaths Head II]

1. Even if it was budget, imho it doesn't give them a excuse to drop the quality in the writing. The only thing that the budget should effect is the scope of the action presented in the film, and not the quality of the writing and I say this as a writer myself

2. If they were trying to go for a Amanda Waller=DC's Nick Fury route, then they really failed since I didn't get that vibe whatsoever and using Scott would have been better imho. Not once did I get the vibe that there was a larger DC Hero universe out in the world of GL like the Marvel Studios's films we've seen.

I agree on both counts. I'm just trying to find some possible explanation for why they did this.

 

[Spider-Fan]

1. Even if it was budget, imho it doesn't give them a excuse to drop the quality in the writing. The only thing that the budget should effect is the scope of the action presented in the film, and not the quality of the writing and I say this as a writer myself

2. If they were trying to go for a Amanda Waller=DC's Nick Fury route, then they really failed since I didn't get that vibe whatsoever and using Scott would have been better imho. Not once did I get the vibe that there was a larger DC Hero universe out in the world of GL like the Marvel Studios's films we've seen.

Waller also got owned by a dude with a giant head. Nick Fury got to chew out Iron Man...when he was on a donut. Who looks more awesome? If they wanted her to become prominent, ala Nick Fury, then you don't have the lasting image of her being washed away by green water after being owned by a weak villain.

 

[Herolee10]

Waller also got owned by a dude with a giant head. Nick Fury got to chew out Iron Man...when he was on a donut. Who looks more awesome? If they wanted her to become prominent, ala Nick Fury, then you don't have the lasting image of her being washed away by green water after being owned by a weak villain.

Indeed.

Plus, you would have gotten at least one type of reference from Waller about the existence of other DC heroes and characters that aren't related to the GL universe.

But instead, all we got was brief flashes of Waller's tragic life and how she was just working for the government. That's it.

Last time I checked, I don't think Waller was supposed to be that easy to figure out as a character.

 

[misjuevos]

maybe the first draft appears to be better, but really in the end the script will still get made by the same people with the same actors. so who knows if it would be better.

 

[J.Howlett]

I'm guessing the first script was more expensive, given the descriptions I'm reading. It sounds as if either things got streamlined or got cut.

Just based on how the film flows in the second half, I'm thinking more things got cut out more than a jumbled script.

I guess I need to find this script and give it a read through to see how different it is...

 

[The Sage]

I'm curious to read it as well.

 

[Miranda Fox]

I'd like to take a look-see. I'm curious to see how GL could've shaped up.

 

[J.Howlett]

Well, I found it. Right off the bat, I don't like the opening voice over compared to the film. It doesn't work. Tomar-Rae's explanation of the Green Lantern Corps. feels more appropriate.

Now, the opening scene with Hal and his father is technically better than what we got but the dialogue doesn't work at all. That could've been reworked.

 

[J.Howlett]

Gotta be totally honest, the first 32 pages are a mess. The film gets to the point better and cleaner than this script.

The only thing that is interesting in the first 32 pages are the initial flashback of Hal and his father and the accident and the short scene of Sinestro going to the Guardians about Abin Sur's death...interesting in that he's basically wanting to use the yellow power from the outset.

Hal and Carol's relationship is way better in the opening act in the film than the script...but the film is missing that flashback.

Frankly, how we didn't open on that flashback for Hal is a mystery to me. It's just needed. The scene at this nephew's birthday party is a wash. It works in the script and in the film almost exactly the same.

Also, that opening scene with Hal and the blonde girl? Shorter, better, and gets to the point in the film than the script. That whole scene in the script is filler. That scene in the film says the exact same thing that the scripted scene did but in 25 seconds instead of the two pages it takes up.

 

[moviedoors]

The broad strokes of the first draft certainly made for a more exciting story. It had its problems too though. A lot of seriously cheeseball dialogue, a goofy "a kiss saves the day" resolution, and the Alan Scott thing was kind of forced. I didn't care for all the archaic 1950's style mad scientist descriptions either ("the cold, passionless gaze of a scientist" or whatever). It seemed like the writers had a stick up their ass about people who study the way the world works.

 

[J.Howlett]

moviedoors,

I just got done reading Hal's first day on Oa. In a sense, I like the information better in the script but I like how the whole day plays out in the film.

Hal leaves in the script because he feels this isn't his problem. In the film, he leaves because he's still processing the idea that humans aren't alone and Sinestro scares the **** out of him when they go head to head. I think I prefer that version better.

Also, I do miss the gathering scene from the film, before Hal goes off to train.

I can see why fans of this script like it. You can see the makings of the Hal and Sinestro relationship, where in the film, there is none until Hal proves himself to Sinestro and the Corps. with his battle with Parallax.

For an introductory film, I personally think it makes sense that Sinestro is hostile towards Hal, until the end. I mean, in the film at the end, Hal makes a convincing argument about the power of will and not given in to fear...an argument that Sinestro doesn't shrug off.

Also, both Hal and Carol are pretty nasty to each other so far in this script. It's...different. I don't know how I feel about it yet.

 

[Evil Twin]

It's possible that a lot of what is being pointed to in the thread was written and shot and just left on the cutting room floor.

 

[J.Howlett]

I will say that I can spot where the budget went from 150 to 200 million.

It's in the Oa scenes. In the script, if I'm reading it right, a lot of the stuff takes place in doors which would've been set construction with a bit of CG here and there.

In the film, EVERYTHING is outdoors, include the Guardians Citadel. In fact, the Citadel seems to be directly lifted from Green Lantern First Flight in the script.

By expanding Oa, that's where the money went.

 

[J.Howlett]

62 pages in and I can tell that if the film added the flashbacks that Hal has of his father and the scenes of him and his nephew and family, Green Lantern would've been fine.

What is interesting though is that Hector Hammond still has no place in this script as he halfway doesn't in the film. In both instances, they haven't figured out Hector Hammond.

 

[moviedoors]

62 pages in and I can tell that if the film added the flashbacks that Hal has of his father and the scenes of him and his nephew and family, Green Lantern would've been fine.

What is interesting though is that Hector Hammond still has no place in this script as he halfway doesn't in the film. In both instances, they haven't figured out Hector Hammond.

At least the first draft doesn't weakly try and give Hal and Hector a history. Also, Hector at least gives Hal an actual reason to doubt himself later in the story.

 

[J.Howlett]

moviedoors,

Well, I haven't gotten that far yet but even still, as weakly as it is in the film, at least there's a reason for Hector to be there. 62 pages in and there's no reason whatsoever for Hector to be there. NONE.

Had the film worked out the situation between Hal, Carol, and Hector, the film would've been fine. What the film weakly did was try to have a juxtaposition between Hal's relationship with his father and Hector with his, with Carol caught in the middle.

The film shows how both characters respond to having power thrust upon them. Their connection SHOULD been how they related to their fathers. They didn't map it very well in the film, but that's what it was going for.

 

[moviedoors]

moviedoors,

Well, I haven't gotten that far yet but even still, as weakly as it is in the film, at least there's a reason for Hector to be there. 62 pages in and there's no reason whatsoever for Hector to be there. NONE.

Had the film worked out the situation between Hal, Carol, and Hector, the film would've been fine. What the film weakly did was try to have a juxtaposition between Hal's relationship with his father and Hector with his, with Carol caught in the middle.

The film shows how both characters respond to having power thrust upon them. Their connection SHOULD been how they related to their fathers. They didn't map it very well in the film, but that's what it was going for.

I really don't see how it ended up all that different. Hector was just as weakly utilized in the film. Yeah, they lazily threw connections in there, but they didn't work, at all, so it's still a useless character. I'm not seeing your case here.

I thought Hector messing with people early in the script was more clever than anything they did with him in the movie. The guy he forces into a slave? Yeah, way more interesting than:

Hal: Hey.

Hector: What's up? We know each other.

End of character development.

or

Hector: People liked that Dark Knight pencil scene, right? I shove a needle into your eye! Am I a good villain now?

 

[J.Howlett]

moviedoors,

Oh, I agree. But, in both forms, Hector doesn't really work. I just finished the script.

Here's the thing with Hector and how he's in the script. Sinestro makes a point on Hal's first day on Oa that if any remnants of Legion are on Earth, it would lay waste to Earth. Obviously that's Hector. And yes, Hector does give Hal a legit reason to have fear, in using the Ring for evil. That actually works.

But, to overcome that fear he has, it makes sense for Hal to take out Hector himself, instead of having the Corps. help.

If the film would've used the elements of the flashbacks of Hal's father, the elements of Hal with his mother and two brothers, the element of Hector using the Ring to do evil and combined it with a better understanding of Hal, Carol, and Hector's backstory, the film would've worked like gangbusters.

Legion's more of an afterthought in the script than Parallax was in the film. At least you got a sense that Parallax was coming in the film. In the script, they really abandon Legion until almost the very end.