Things your Parents never taught you - but should have

[AndThePickles]

*gets in*

I wish

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Have mercy

 

[Aesop Rocks]

No, have a Stamos, a John Stamos:

 

[Colossal Spoons]

 

[AndThePickles]

Haha

 

[Addendum]

They never had the sex talk with me. And as uncomfortable as it would have been, I think it's important for the parents to have a responsible conversation with their kids about it. I got my talk from the public school gym teacher who was rumored to have had affairs with some students.

The sex talk with my old man went exactly like this: "Son, if you get a woman pregnant before you get married, I'll kill you".

My old man was a SSgt in the Marine Corps. I don't know about anyone else, but I never had the balls to find out if a Marine bluffs when he says "I'll kill you"

 

[Art_of_Crime]

If a girl can beat you at arm wrestling don't date her. If you do date her don't piss her off. If you do piss her off, wear a helmet.

 

[KevanG]

If a girl can beat you at arm wrestling don't date her. If you do date her don't piss her off. If you do piss her off, wear a helmet.

And a cup...

 

[redmarvel]

- more about cars

I admit my parents could have taught me more about cars too. One thing I learned the hard way, if you plan to travel late at night for over an hour, make sure your tank has more than a quarter of a tank in it. In fact, never let your fuel get down to a quarter, you don't want your engine sucking up the sludge that's in the bottom of the tank.

 

[Metamorpho1977]

I admit my parents could have taught me more about cars too. One thing I learned the hard way, if you plan to travel late at night for over an hour, make sure your tank has more than a quarter of a tank in it. In fact, never let your fuel get down to a quarter, you don't want your engine sucking up the sludge that's in the bottom of the tank.

Another thing, fill up your gas tank at night. Somehow the gas is more compressed and you can get more out than you can in the day time. I can't understand it, but I've seen it work.

 

[YoungE808]

They weren't aware of American schooling. So I went from a private school to public which had advanced placement. My freshman year of high school, I was in the same class with knuckle draggers, pot heads and people who would burn things. Sophomore year I started to take more advanced classes.

Same thing happened to me.

 

[ObakeTora]

1. Always ask to see a lawyer
2. Never be too honest with women
3. How to tear down and rebuild a 351w motor
4. How to deal with *******s

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Another thing, fill up your gas tank at night. Somehow the gas is more compressed and you can get more out than you can in the day time. I can't understand it, but I've seen it work.

But what about muggers, rapists, and coyotes!?

 

[Metamorpho1977]

But what about muggers, rapists, and coyotes!?

Only go to the gas stations not in the ghetto.

 

[Maximum Carnage]

My mama never taught me what yellow snow is. :..(

 

[redmarvel]

My mama never taught me what yellow snow is. :..(

well, I hope your folks warned you not to put your tongue on metal if the temperature is below freezing.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

My dad actually almost got me to do that when I was a wee lil lad.

Jokes on him, it wasn't snowing.

 

[Maximum Carnage]

I'm just kidding. I'd never eat yellow snow.. ignorant or not. Lol!

 

[Aesop Rocks]

This guy right here!

 

[Maximum Carnage]

Wha'?

 

[Maximum Carnage]

Never to jay-walk. That stuff right there is dangerous.

 

[redmarvel]

Never to jay-walk. That stuff right there is dangerous.

Red / Yellow = Don't Walk, Green = Walk - believe it or not there are places that don't have lights, I was fortunate, I grew up in T.O. and knew this. It surprised the heck out of me to find out that the kids I went to High School with up in the back of beyond didn't know this. They got the lesson during a school trip to Toronto.

 

[SuperFerret]

If there's no cars, then walk. It's not like the asphalt turns to lava when the don't walk sign is lit.

But don't be stupid about it. You can't run faster than a truck, dumbass. Know your limits or you'll soon find them.

 

[THW]

Never get involved in a land war in Asia...

 

[SuperFerret]

You never want to try to hold Asia anyway, because you can't ever do it for more than a turn, unless you're absolutely demolishing everyone else.