Ultimate Final Exam

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by Malice, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    Instructions: Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions. Time limit - four hours. Begin immediately.


    History
    Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrate specifically but not exclusively, on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

    Literature
    Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante, Norse mythology and the Marx brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its metrics.

    Music
    Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

    Art
    Explain the Mona Lisa's smile. Relate all interpretations associated with it.

    Religion
    Assuming the Judeo-Christian moral structure, take the stand for Adam and Eve, and the eating of the forbidden fruit. Explain your position fully to a Chassidic Rabbi, and answer his arguments. An Anglican bishop will moderate this debate.

    Logic
    Using accepted methodology prove all four of the following: the universe is infinite; truth is beauty; there is not a little person who turns off the light in the refrigerator when you close the door, and that you are the person taking this exam. Now disprove all of the above. Be specific; show all work.

    Philosophy
    Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

    Epistemology
    Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

    Medicine
    You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

    Biology
    Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed five hundred years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

    Psychology
    Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality changes, bill yourself and fill out all medical insurance forms. Now do the same to the person seated to your immediate left. Also, based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

    Sociology
    Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the world. Construct and experiment to test your theory.

    Economics
    Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of you plan in the following areas Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all points of view. Point out deficiencies in your argument as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

    Computer Science
    Define computer. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all computer decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications to interface and all the necessary control programs.

    Management Science
    Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

    Public Speaking
    2,500 riot-crazed students are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

    Physics
    Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

    Modern Physics
    Disprove Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Construct an experiment to prove your position.

    Engineering
    The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Prove your assertions, and be prepared to cost- and motion- justify your decision.

    Agricultural Science
    Outline the steps involved in breeding your own super high yield, all weather hybrid strain of wheat. Describe its chemical and physical properties and estimate its impact on world food supplies. Construct a model for dealing with world-wide surpluses. Write your Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

    Comprehension
    Three minute time test. Read everything before doing anything. Put your name in the upper right hand corner of this page. Circle the word name in sentence three. Sign your name under the title of this paper, after the title write yes, yes, yes. Put an X in the lower left hand corner of this paper. Draw a triangle around the X you just put down. On the back of this paper multiply 703x668. Loudly call out your name when you get to this point. If you think you have followed directions carefully to this point call out "I have." Punch three small holes in the top of this paper. If you are the first person to get this far, call out "I am the first person to this point, I am leading in following directions." On the reverse side of this paper add 8950 and 9850. Put a circle around your answer and put a square around the circle. Now that you have finished reading carefully, do only sentence two.

    Political Science
    There is a red telephone on the desk behind you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

    Jurisprudence
    In Part 2 of Shakespeare's "Henry VI", Jack Cade, the leader of the Populist revolt, proposes that the first order of business following a successful coup d'e'tat could be to "kill all the lawyers". In light of the present populist mood in the United States, assess the utility and any potential impact of such a policy today.

    Foreign Affairs
    It has recently been suggested (especially after Black Monday) that only a foreign war can restore America's lost national consensus. Propose the ideal opponent(s) for the US in such a war, and how the conflict might be engineered so that US would seem not to be the aggressor in the situation. Discuss the pros and cons.

    Mathematics
    Give today's date, in metric.

    Chemistry
    Transform lead into gold. You will find a tripod and three logs under your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.

    General Knowledge
    Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

    Extra Credit
    Define the Universe. Give two examples.

     
  2. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    Take that test!
     
  3. Immortalfire In the pale moonlight

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2001
    Messages:
    61,520
    Likes Received:
    2,637
    My head hurts
     
  4. Krypton Girl Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,360
    Likes Received:
    0
    :shock: Only four hours? :oldrazz:
     
  5. Asteroid-Man Registered

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2005
    Messages:
    18,009
    Likes Received:
    1
    what. the. hell.
     
  6. Danalys Sol Invictus

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Messages:
    12,562
    Likes Received:
    0
    lol. i'd go through stating the reasons not to take the test but it'd be too much like a test.
     
  7. QueerMike Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    1,655
    Likes Received:
    0
    Looks like fun, but I;m not going to do your homework for you.
     
  8. tzarinna Mamochka

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2006
    Messages:
    24,949
    Likes Received:
    319
    You first, Malice.
     
  9. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    hehe, I love seeing peoples reactions
     
  10. knowsbleed Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2002
    Messages:
    21,117
    Likes Received:
    0
    Do you get to be ruler of SHH world if you pass? :huh:
     
  11. Handsome Rob Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2007
    Messages:
    2,296
    Likes Received:
    48
    Whoever has that gif of the guy's head exploding ought to use it and say "This is what just happened to Handsome Rob--may he be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows he's dead."
     
  12. Bnightwing Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,226
    Likes Received:
    0
    I do that in my sleep
     
  13. knowsbleed Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2002
    Messages:
    21,117
    Likes Received:
    0


    I really liked Braveheart. Roby Roy, notsomuch. It might have been better in some peoples' eyes...but I could not bring myself around to liking it. Maybe it was the whole, "I'm Tim Roth and I'm sort of gay but I'll cut you" vibe going on...but I didn't like it.

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I wonder if Wilhelm talks like he posts
    Jag probably looks like Mickey Rourke IRL

    Psh...two turntables and a microphone FTW
    Yeah...I like her mouf

    Eve was a non-listening to Adam woman. She better have been worth it Adam. She better have had a vajayjay with a cape with an \S/ on it...cuz you guys ****ed it up for everybody else. :cmad:

    *I'm hungry*
    [​IMG]
    When I tell the truth...it makes me feel dirrrty.

    This must be the emo part of the test.

    This is me! :woot:
    [​IMG]
    Uhhh...my mom never touched me when I was a child. Now her friend...I think she did.

    If Archangel was actually one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse...that would be pretty damn scary. Like, real life type scary. :(
    If I had enough money to buy an iTouch...I'd buy one. But I'd never buy a Mac...just to disappoint jag.

    Computers are here to make the use of abacuses obsolete. To hell with that! :cmad:

    I managed to watch weird science this weekend. I think I mentally lost my virginity to Kelly LeBrock back in 1985. It was mentally glorious.

    *skips to last question...sheesh*
    The universe is anything that exists...anywhere.

    Example 1: 1's and 0's are the basic elements of my universe
    Example 2: A lady with long smooth tan legs...they are universally sexy...*le drool*

     
  14. The Evolutionist Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    0

    That's easy...just save the scotch for afterward.
     
  15. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    heh, I figured there would be interesting answers...
     
  16. Logan's Runt Runtmuffin

    Joined:
    May 22, 2007
    Messages:
    10,452
    Likes Received:
    0
    I gradumatated, therefore these things have no power over me. :cmad:

    I did panic a little at the first question. :csad:
     
  17. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    some of these questions crack me up...
     
  18. Ahura Mazda Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2003
    Messages:
    10,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    I like the comprehension one even though it would be very difficult to grade....

    The other questions are very good ones for their field and would require very good knowledge for a good answer.

    I do not see any one individual being able to answer all of those.
     
  19. Eggyman The Oval Avenger

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    Messages:
    17,467
    Likes Received:
    82
    Did you gradumatate from collegue or Universally?
     
  20. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    Exactly..
    The irony.."You have 4 hours"
    Then you read question 1
    History
    Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrate specifically but not exclusively, on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

    This question has people working their entire lives to answer...
    and you have to do it in less then a hour...

    The absolute horror would then set in.
     
  21. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    Extra Credit
    Define the Universe. Give two examples.


    MUAHAHAH
     
  22. Logan's Runt Runtmuffin

    Joined:
    May 22, 2007
    Messages:
    10,452
    Likes Received:
    0
    The University of Everything. :up:
     
  23. JP Smelly

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2005
    Messages:
    60,503
    Likes Received:
    364
    This test was given to the American people. . .

     
  24. Monster Reborn

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2007
    Messages:
    4,166
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have the answers to all of them questions.

    I just can't be bothered to post them.










    I actually don't know any of them.
     
  25. Malice BMFH

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Messages:
    12,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    nothing

    Realistically...the only question I can probably answer is the above..

    Well maybe not...
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"