Weird News of the World Thread - Part 1

[squeekness]

I'd be scared, too. The world we live in has just gone crazy.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Dozens Get Sick, Trip Balls After Eating Drug-Laced Christmas Cakes

According to police, health officials have found a synthetic drug in the Christmas cakes that caused 40 people to fall ill with nausea, hallucinations and out-of-body experiences in California this week.

Traditionally, the baked good known as Rosca de Reyes is eaten at the end of the Christmas season and contains a tiny plastic Jesus baby, not a powerful psychedelic drug, but on Monday customers who ate cakes from Cholula's Bakery in Santa Ana began showing up at hospitals reporting the suspiciously similar symptoms.

After an initial investigation found traces of a cockroach infestation, the Orange County Health Agency shut down the bakery, but police are now launching a criminal investigation, with lab results confirming the presence of drugs expected in one to two weeks.

"There are hundreds of types of synthetic drugs," said a police spokesperson. "Hopefully they can isolate what exactly we're talking about."

https://local.nixle.com/alert/5333110/

Man tripping balls while never knowing you were about to do so has to be weird as hell

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Montana Woman Gives Birth to Terrifying Identical Triplets

Dark clouds formed over Billings, Montana. They eclipsed the moon and the darkest of dark night closed in. Witches cackled, black cats howled, and lighting struck. And then it happened. The most terrifying event in the universe. A woman gave birth to unassisted identical triplets.

Jody Kinsey and her husband, Jase, welcomed three boys — Cade, Ian and Milo — all terrifying, and all healthy. The triplets actually look like normal pointy-headed, squishy-faced babies, clad in matching blue-striped onesies with ah-dorable bears on their tiny feet. But really, is there anything scarier, than having three identical human beings come tearing from your body?

For their part, the Kinsey's aren't terrified at all. Jody, who recently had three tiny, identical monsters in her uterus, told the Billings Gazette "I'm sure it's going to be tough, especially when they get old enough to understand that people can't tell them apart." What's likely to be tougher is when you wake up one early, cold morning and see three identical toddlers staring at you from your doorway. They'll look at you and simultaneously say "Mommy." And then...then you'll be truly terrified.

http://billingsgazette.com/news/loc...cle_c006e36b-b264-5d76-a744-db7a315e2fab.html

Man I don't know how you can keep track of them

 

[squeekness]

Someone slipped angel dust into a joint my husband shared when he was at high school. He said it was horrible and frightening. He was hallucinating badly but made to the nurses office. He was lucky she just let him sleep it off and he didn't get in trouble.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Someone slipped angel dust into a joint my husband shared when he was at high school. He said it was horrible and frightening. He was hallucinating badly but made to the nurses office. He was lucky she just let him sleep it off and he didn't get in trouble.

Damn Squeeks, [Denzel voice] "I didn't know your hubby liked to get wet"

haha

 

[squeekness]

Damn Squeeks, [Denzel voice] "I didn't know your hubby liked to get wet"

haha

Said pot worked wonders for his terrible temper, but he gave it up when he started getting memory issues.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

I can't smoke anymore either, when I do I hear voices and get freaked out. No sense in doing something if you can't enjoy it

 

[squeekness]

I can't smoke anymore either, when I do I hear voices and get freaked out. No sense in doing something if you can't enjoy it

True that. They drug test us at work so it's something we can get fired for. I never smoked anything and my husband gave up pot years before we ever met so no worries there.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Here's An Alleged Dad Lover On What It's Like to Make Love to Your Dad

Science of Us, the New York Magazine blog that has previously taken us into the minds of a horse ****er and a 58-year-old virgin, published an interview today with an 18-year-old who claims to be in a sexual relationship with her father. They are also engaged to be married!

"Genetic Sexual Attraction" (GSA), explains Science of Us, is the term for "intense romantic and sexual feelings" felt by some after reuniting with an estranged biological relative. According to The Guardian, GSA occurs in 50 percent of cases where estranged biological relatives meet again as adults, which sounds absolutely crazy and I refuse to believe it.

Nevertheless, it (allegedly) happened to these two lovebirds. The interviewee's father got in touch with her when she was 17, after having zero contact with her since she was five. Here she is on how they reignited their relationship:

My mom said that he didn't want to have anything to do with me. But she was very controlling and kept me under Fort Knox–like conditions. She's had my Facebook password since I've had an account. One day, after I got my Facebook privileges back, he added me as a friend. At first, I figured it was my grandpa because they have very similar names. I thought, Maybe grandpa got techy?

She says she didn't date very much when she was a (younger) teenager, but the little dating experience she had was, hmm, troubling:

In fifth grade I dated a boy for two years. But one night he got drunk and had sex with a girl who ended up pregnant. It ****ed everything up. I told him he had to go and be with this girl and take care of the kid.

She ended up falling asleep with a cigarette in her mouth and their house burned down, so she left town with the kid and never came back. I supported him through that and we ended up half-ass dating, then my mom found letters we had written to each other about making out. She said things were getting too serious and sexual and took me out of class and homeschooled me for a while.

Did she feel an instant attraction upon meeting her father? Ah, funny you ask—she did!:

It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, He's so good-looking! And then I was like,What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you? I saw him as my dad but then also part of me was like, I'm meeting this guy who I have been talking to over the internet and really connecting with and I find him attractive.

When they finally reunited, she stayed with him for five days. On the first two nights, he slept on the couch; on the third night they both slept on the floor, she with her head on his chest:

The fourth night rolls around and we ended up on the floor again. This time we actually cuddled. When he woke up, we were spooning. I didn't know this at the time but later, after we admitted our feelings, he told me he had had "morning wood" and had gone to fix it.

(She explains he just went to the bathroom to pee.) She also lost her virginity to him:

There's a reason I lost my virginity to him — because I'd never felt comfortable with any other man. It was insanely sensual. It lasted for about an hour and there was a lot of foreplay. We both had orgasms. We are so similar so it's so easy to sexually please each other. For example, we both hate neck-biting. I've never been in a more passionate, loving, fulfilling situation.

Here she is on being bullied:

Mostly my weight and the fact that I wasn't pretty enough. But when my dad and I started dating I became more confident, and it's funny how much more attractive that makes you feel.

The father and daughter are currently engaged to be married (her dress will be black):

Yes. I want it to represent our uniqueness, so we aren't doing a white wedding. The color scheme is black and purple, and we are both going to wear Converse tennis shoes. He's wearing jeans and a nice dress shirt. He says he's not wearing a bow tie, but it's my wedding and I am saying that he is.

On whether they will have kids together or adopt:

We'll have kids together

(!!) Of course, that leads to the question of whether she fears potential genetic problems:

Nope.

Nope!

I wouldn't risk having a kid if I thought it would be harmful. I've done my research. Everybody thinks that kids born in incestuous relationships will definitely have genetic problems, but that's not true. That happens when there's years of inbreeding, like with the royal family. Incest has been around as long as humans have. Everybody just needs to deal with it as long as nobody is getting hurt or getting pressured or forced.

On whether they'll tell their kids that their father is also their grandfather:

We've decided that most likely we won't. I don't want to give them any problems.

And, of course, on whether her father is physically her type:

Definitely. He's alternative and has piercings and tattoos.

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/01/what-its-like-to-date-your-dad.html

Isn't this freaking illegal?! This is disgusting and her "father" should be taken out back and shot

 

[KevanG]

I Don't... Can't... What???

I'm sure that it's illegal pretty much everywhere. Also, nasty as ****.

 

[Teelie]

That would be since incest is illegal. Although I doubt it's true. I also doubt it is true.

 

[Asgard]

Here's An Alleged Dad Lover On What It's Like to Make Love to Your Dad

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/01/what-its-like-to-date-your-dad.html

Isn't this freaking illegal?! This is disgusting and her "father" should be taken out back and shot

Thats a bit...harsh.

This is why adult family members who've been estranged for years should seek counsel with an adoption therapist before reuniting so they can discuss the possibility of gsa happening and how to deal with it if it does.

 

[redmarvel]

Homeless Cat Saves Abandoned Baby

Russia -

"She has been keeping the baby warm for several hours and meowing to call for help."

The baby was left in a cardboard box, the cat climbs in to keep it warm. Even after people found them, that cat wanted to stay with the baby.

Click link for news site with pictures of cat and baby and a video.

http://rt.com/news/223027-cat-saves-abandoned-baby/

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

That is def an odd story. I was always told cats will smother babies

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

The Streets of San Francisco Are Covered in Human Poop

Poop on Mission Street. Poop between cars. Poop in the alley. Poop in the Tenderloin. Poop in the escalator—so much poop that the escalator breaks down under the strain of all that poop. Everywhere you look, San Francisco residents are saying, there is poop, poop, poop.

The latest doodoo dispatch comes via a New York Times op-ed by Allison Arieff. She begins:

This past fall, a project started called (Human) Wasteland, which maps reports of human waste throughout the city of San Francisco. Yes, a disproportionate amount of poop on the streets is not from dogs but from humans.

Some in the blogosphere tended to play this for laughs, but the reality isn't very funny.

Counterpoint: it's a little funny. There's a nice poetic justice to the gilded paradise of new-money tech-dudes teeming with the inescapable waste of people left behind or displaced by the awful march of disruption.

But the jokes come as a consequence of a pressing and critical problem: Homelessness. And a sore lack of public facilities that homeless people are accessible to homeless people. Will Kane at Ratter, the local-reporting site launched by former Gawker editor A.J. Daulerio, dove into the issue last month:

By an unofficial count there are just five public restrooms in all of the Tenderloin, said Jennifer Friedenbach, the executive director of Coalition on Homelessness, a local advocacy group for the city's poor.

While tourists and shoppers can sneak into a hotel or store and use the bathroom many people who don't have access to a bathroom during the day "get turned away because they are poor, and they are black," Friedenbach said. "Human beings do not want to defect or urinate in public. It is not natural and they do so out of desperation because they have no where else to go."

Besides the mess, Friedenbach said, people who relieve themselves in city streets can't wash their hands or keep themselves clean.

Since that article, Kane has launched a "Today's Turd" feature, chronicling the craps that Ratter writers and readers encounter on their daily goings-about. Arieff's op-ed mentions (Human) Wasteland, a graphic that uses poop-colored clouds to map waste complaints throughout the city. If you didn't know better, you might think you were looking at a map of some imaginatively-named city called "San F____o." The rest of the name is engulfed in one enormous brown spot.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/17/opinion/showers-on-wheels.html

Is poop the real San Francisco treat?

 

[KevanG]

Well that helps dispel the imagery of that town.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Stormtrooper Armor Saves Man From Snake Bite

They might have been useless at stopping blasters, but the ol' Imperial Stormtrooper armour has at least saved Australian Scott Loxley from being bitten by one of the most poisonous snakes in a country full of poisonous snakes.

Loxley, who is walking across Australia in his Stormtrooper armour to raise money for charity, says in this video that he was recently walking across north Queensland when he came across what he thought was a dead snake on the side of the road.

Turns out, nope, the snake was alive, and it was what he thinks was a King Brown Snake. As he walked past, it shot up and snapped at his legs.

"Thje good news is, the armour...he bit me in the shin, and the armour actually protected me and stopped the bite.

I could feel the teeth on the plastic scraping, but the armour actually stopped something! SO all those people who rag on stormtroopers, saying the armour doesn't do this or doesn't do that, it stopped a snake bite and probably saved my life."

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=931242603554403&pnref=story

Well I'll be damned

 

[KevanG]

I think that snake was a spy sent from the Rebellion. All hail the Empire!

 

[Teelie]

Cats don't smother babies except on accident when it rarely occurs and only because they are trying to either stay warm themselves or comfort the baby. Anyone who has ever lived with a cat knows they'll sleep on or around anyone when they get cold or think there's a need for affection.

 

[KevanG]

I've seen cats cuddle up next to a sleeping baby before. The ones I've seen never even went near the face except to rub up against it when trying to get attention/affection.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Cats don't smother babies except on accident when it rarely occurs and only because they are trying to either stay warm themselves or comfort the baby. Anyone who has ever lived with a cat knows they'll sleep on or around anyone when they get cold or think there's a need for affection.

Ahh, well I'm a dog guy myself. Most of my mom's cats growing up did not like me because I liked to mess with them

 

[redmarvel]

When I was a kid my parents took me to a cottage in mosquito country.
My sister and I shared a bed and slept in the upstairs room and made tent out of our bedsheets to keep the mosquitos off.
One night the cat came to join us - we thought she was trying to escape the mosquitos (which she was), but she was also looking for a warm, comfy and safe place...

Spoiler

to have her kittens. She had 6 in our bed with us while we watched.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Secret Service Reports Shots Fired Outside Joe Biden's Delaware Home

On Saturday night, multiple shots were fired from a road outside Vice President Biden's home in Greenville, Delaware, The Washington Post reports. According to the Secret Service, the shots were fired from inside a vehicle that then fled the area. No one was injured.

An agency spokesman says Secret Service personnel heard the shots at 8:25 p.m. and then saw a vehicle drive past "at a high rate of speed" on a public road outside the security perimeter. Agents were unable to catch the vehicle.

Biden and his wife were reportedly in Delaware but not at their house at the time, having gone out for the evening.

It's not clear whether any of the shots hit Biden's home and whether the attack was random or targeted, but the Secret Service says it is working with with the New Castle County Police to investigate the incident.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...ive-by-shooting-outside-bidens-delaware-home/

Who doesn't like Joe? That guy is freaking hilarious!

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Finds Cozy Spot Between Semis to Wait Out 26-Car Pileup

For most of the 100 or so people involved in Saturday's massive highway accident in Eastern Oregon, the 26-car pileup was surely a harrowing ordeal, but one man found a cute new place amidst all the chaos, wedged safely between two big rigs.

After his four-door pickup was rendered a zero-door pancake by two semi-trucks, Kaleb Whitby didn't have much choice but to wait for help, which finally came (as it so often does these days) with a request for pics.

From Road & Track:

Truck driver Sergi Karplyuk's semi was halted by the two trucks that pinned Whitby. Karplyuk got out to survey the scene and discovered Whitby's mangled vehicle jammed in between. The trucker confirmed that Whitby, astonishingly, was unharmed. He asked if he could snap a picture of Whitby, capturing the terrifying image you see above. Then he helped Whitby escape the wreck, and they went to work helping others caught in the pileup.

Sadly, it hasn't all been good news for Whitby.

"I've got two Band-Aids on my right ring finger," he told The Oregonian. "And a little bit of ice on my left eye."

http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/news/a24788/wedged-between-2-semis-walks-away/

Wow

 

[SWAT]

Spoiler

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/01/what-its-like-to-date-your-dad.html

My father’s parents, they can see we are happy together and they can’t wait for us to have babies