Honestly, I don't see what the issue is. Sure, it would've been polite of her to come over and say hi, but at the same time it would've been polite to OFFER your help at the stag instead of expecting to be asked. And you showed the same impoliteness during the clean up. Maybe they were trying to be polite figuring that you had a hard day at work and that you should just enjoy yourself. The fact she wanted to keep the pictures you should've taken as a compliment, that means she LIKED THEM. And who was all at this stag party? Why was she even AT the stag party? Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought they were suppose to be just for the guys? Hence the word "stag", you go by yourself. And you're refering to an email of hers as honey laced poison crap? (I paraphrase). What did you expect her to do? Send an angry *****y Email that you could show to your friend and go "Ha! I was right!"? Sounds like she's being the mature one here. You also complained about her getting angry for him wanting to spend time with you guys, then you complain that they didn't spend the night together? I think you need to pick a side there. The reason she brought up the gym thing is probably because you said something to the effect of "she doesn't let you do anything" and the gym was an example. Was there an ultimatium? Who was it all that talked to your friend? Did the other people in the "we" catagory agree with you?
If you really want to know what's going on here, it sounds like either:
A) You're afraid of losing a friend of 14+ yrs and you're acting out because of your fears when, what you don't see, is that it's YOUR actions that would drive him away. or the one I'm more leaning towards...
B) You actually have a serious crush on this woman. Why would it matter if she said hi to you? SHE'S not your friend, you should only expect it from your friend. Why did you want to get a rise out of her? Or, in your words, "have some passion". Even if you only meant it as to get her mad, it's a rather interesting way of phrasing things... And the other option is to have some one-on-one talk time? Um... okay. Why would she want to do that? You don't have to approve of her, only her fiance. It's good that you're looking out for him, love can be blind, but why would she want to meet with you after the things you said?