I honestly don't know. This is something I've been thinking about for years and years without a satisfactory answer. After almost dying of kidney failure, and being saved by a kidney transplant, I realize I've been given a huge gift, and the realization that I could always die tomorrow. The problem is that even though I've been given this great gift, I feel ashamed because I don't know what to do with it. I'm agnostic, though I really wish their was a God, and some kind of order to the universe. I don't like children, and am not very good with people. I wake up every morning feeling like I should be doing something else, but I have no idea what that thing is. The best I've been able to come up with is just to spend the rest of my life doing what I love, if only I could figure out what that is.