What Happened There?- an open letter to Mr Schumacher

Dear Mr Schumacher,
I recently had the misfortune of catching both ‘Batman Forever’ and ‘Batman & Robin’ on television in the same week. As I was reaching for the sleeping pills to put me out of my misery and into the comforting arms of an early death, I couldn't help but wonder what went wrong.
Like many other filmgoers in the 1980's, I was a great fan of 'The Lost Boys', and when that was topped with the shadowy, Neo-Gothic stylings of 'Flatliners', I too would have chosen you, sir, to direct the third instalment of the Batman franchise. Surely, with Tommy Lee Jones as Harvey Dent and Jim Carrey (never mind that Robin Williams character) as the Riddler, very little could go wrong.
Perhaps it was the corrupting influence of those bungling bigwigs at Weiner Brothers that caused the (at the time) premature downfall of the most promising franchise since Bond. Tales of Jon Peters and his constant requests for mechanical spiders and the like have become the stuff of legend, so it would be of little surprise if that was the case. Maybe it was the fault of the screen writers involved; the Batchlers or Akiva Goldsman, who may have come up with such cinematic gold as The Bat-Credit Card or “I’ll get drive through”, but they couldn’t have been responsible for the amount of rubber on display or the dreadful pink-face, over the top performance from Mr Jones. The final responsibility lay at your feet, sir. And this may be the reason that your contribution to the franchise is so universally despised.
To make matters worse for me, you followed these crimes against Gotham’s Finest with some of the best American cinema to emerge in recent years. ‘8mm’, ‘Tigerland’ ,‘Phone Booth’ and ‘Veronica Guerin’ were edgy, inventive pieces with enough flair and style to keep the popcorn contingent entertained, scared, or thrilled until the cows came home. In short, sir, since the Gotham debacles, you haven’t put a foot wrong. And as I hope one can understand, I’ve found this very frustrating.
So finally, I would like to extend to you the idea of directing another comic-book adaptation. This idea may seem a little wacky to my net-nerd brethren, but I, sir, am sure that your talents may still be served in the genre. Perhaps something more attuned to your dark tastes like ‘Powers’ or ‘The Exterminators’. Anything that didn’t have a Burger King promotion involved.
The decisions lie with you, Mr Schumacher but I for one would love to see you turn your eye, once again, in our direction.
Love, Peace and Soul
Daniel Hegarty

 

That's precisely the sentiment that led me to write the letter, dude.

As the man above says, it's been 11 years and people still aren't over it. I think that's because we all know just how good a director he is.

I dunno, it was just a bit of fun.

 

Of course I didn't send the letter!
It's a piece of fiction! Creative writing in order to express my frustration at the fact that a great Hollywood director's shot at directing a comic-book movie resulted in The Batman Debacles.
I'm not complaining about an 11 year old film, here. I'm bigging up a top director and I want him to have another shot at making an adult comic book movie.

How come you don't get that?

 

Nuff Said....CLOSE THIS THREAD!!!!