What The Hell?!

[TheCorpulent1]

Why ya gotta rip on MacGyver?

I love MacGyver, but his hair was just... mullety.

 

[onceasaint]

I love MacGyver, but his hair was just... mullety.

He cut the mullet off for Stargate SG1, cut him some slack.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

I know, and I love Stargate, too. I've also been trying to find DVDs or episode downloads of Legend. I like RDA, it's just... the mullet... egad.

 

[onceasaint]

I know, and I love Stargate, too. I've also been trying to find DVDs or episode downloads of Legend. I like RDA, it's just... the mullet... egad.

I know, it just kinda... haunts you.

I'm convinced the mullet isn't even a hair style, its more likely a symbiote like venom. Except instead of feeding off cancer or adrenaline it feeds off bad taste.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

And trailer parks.

 

[onceasaint]

And trailer parks.

No, that is incidental!

Sorry... couldn't help it.
Was watching Silence of the Lambs yesterday.

 

[Venom.Symbiote]

I really would buy that.

Reed's brilliance reduced to coming up with inventions to smack Sue around.
Reed invents something like the Time Dilation Accelerator from Spidey TAS, just so he can smack Sue from another room while he's in a recliner watching the game.

You forget, this is Mr. Fantastic. With his abilities, he could smack her from another room anyway. In fact he could smack her halfway down the street. I could see it now Reed sitting on the couch watching the game with his stained wife beater 5 0'clock shadow and his feet on the table showing his holey socks.

Sue is down the street returning from the store when her phone rings.

Sue: (Looking the number) "What does his ass want now?" Answers the phone, "Yes dear"....

Reed: "Don't 'yes dear' me. Did you get my Doritos?"

Sue: "Yes, but they didn't have the nacho cheese so I got you ranch."

Reed: silence

Sue: "Reed?"

Reed: silence

Sue: "Reed? What's wrong?"

Reed taps Sue on the shoulder with his elongated arm. Like a fool she turns right into it....

SLAP!!!

She hits the ground, dropping everything.

Reed: (on the phone) "B*tch! Take that ***** back and get me NACHO. N - A - C - H - O cheese. Is that so hard? Oh, and pick this phone up you don't work, I paid for it."

Sue: "I'm sorry Reed, I'll do better next time."

Reed: "Yes you will. Did you get my Sam Adams?"

Sue: silence then the sound of running footsteps.

Reed: (yelling in the phone) "DAMMIT!!!!!!" "Don't you come home tonight b*tch!"

Just my take on the situation.

 

[onceasaint]

True, but I meant it in the cartoonish way that he is so lazy and so fixed on torturing his wife that instead of simply stretching a lot to reach her, he'd invent a portal system just to stick his hand in the portal and smack her.

That should be another Marvel Universe, the comic is just that universe's Reed smacking Sue around. Make Reed say all sorts of messed up things to Sue.

"Damn accident couldn't finish the job... made it so I don't have to see you, but I still have to f'n hear you! ...need to invent a mute button for you. -opens another beer-"

 

[Gogo Bananas]

I believe she was possessed by Malice when he smacked her, so he wasn't really hitting his wife.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

That's not what the handprint on Sue's face after she regained control said.

 

[onceasaint]

Malice or no Malice... she better not forget Reed's doritos.

 

[Dread]

Still, somewhere in a dark corner Hank Pym is sitting there and going, "Richards hits his wife, saves Galactus, accidentally wipes out a planet, and pretends to be dead sporatically, and yet what's he known for? Being a scientist. Yet I can save the world dozens of times, and I'm STILL seen as a ****ing wife-beater. My kingdom for a writer who's read something of me that took place during the measly 20 year span afterwards..."

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Don't forget, Spider-Man's a wife-beater, too. It's the in thing among comic superheroes.

 

[onceasaint]

That's not what the handprint on Sue's face after she regained control said.

"Why did you hit me??"

"I didn't."

"But you just..."

" -SMACK- I didn't hit you... you fell down the stairs..."

"I fell down the stairs? "

"You fell down the stairs Susan... you should be more careful. "

 

[Dread]

Oh, yes, during "The Spider" garbage that was supposed to "forever change the character in exciting, new directions".

My joke stands; Hank Pym is the only Marvel hero who hit his wife who could never escape the stigma of it, mostly because future writers saw that as his only defining moment.

 

[onceasaint]

Oh, yes, during "The Spider" garbage that was supposed to "forever change the character in exciting, new directions".

My joke stands; Hank Pym is the only Marvel hero who hit his wife who could never escape the stigma of it, mostly because future writers saw that as his only defining moment.

Yeah but thats just who Hank is... he's almost always a *****e. If you were standing next to him for five minutes you'd just go "AHHh!!! -slugs him-" ...sorta like Guy Gardner sometimes.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

That's actually not who Hank is at all. That was his Yellowjacket persona, which was basically an uninhibited version of himself. Spider-Man got off scot-free after wreaking mayhem in the symbiote, Legion got off scot-free for spazzing out and killing people when his evil personas were in control, hell, even Colossus got off scot-free for joining the Acolytes and trying to kill his ex-teammates, and he was perfectly in his right mind at the time! Hank just got the crap end of the stick.

 

[Gogo Bananas]

Well, with Hank Pym they don't have many other options for shoehorning a little character into him. All the good neurosis are taken: alcholism, man out of time, god complex, artificial intelligence, redeemed criminal, hot head...what else is left besides wife beater?

 

[onceasaint]

Exactly!

If he wasn't a wife beater... he'd just be that other guy with the Avengers.

Even now, when I showed my brother the guys heading up SHRA in Civil War, he had no clue who the hell Hank was, and he read more Avengers comics than I did when he was a kid.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Psshh, whatever. The best Hank Pym stuff is from Avengers West Coast, when he was neurosis-free and kicking ass as the Avengers' resident super-genius/engineer. He was MacGyver in comic form (although he miraculously managed to avoid the mullet curse, despite the fact that Byrne was drawing AWC at the time).

 

[deemar325]

Try that shyt on She-Hulk.

 

[keap]

Psshh, whatever. The best Hank Pym stuff is from Avengers West Coast, when he was neurosis-free and kicking ass as the Avengers' resident super-genius/engineer. He was MacGyver in comic form (although he miraculously managed to avoid the mullet curse, despite the fact that Byrne was drawing AWC at the time).

alright!! .you bough th mullets back into the conversation!.....

....mullets are making a comeback i tell ya!!....

 

[Varient]

Well, with Hank Pym they don't have many other options for shoehorning a little character into him. All the good neurosis are taken: alcholism, man out of time, god complex, artificial intelligence, redeemed criminal, hot head...what else is left besides wife beater?

Man ****
Pedophile
Involuntary gender Change
Dumbing down through accident or injury.
GERIphile (OOOOOH Janet,.. Your great GrandMother is Hawt!)
Machonist

 

[Not Jake]

actually, now that I think of it, I once said we should round up...uhm..."special" people and put them in camps...but that was a long time ago, so I think the statute of limitations makes the one in this thread the current most offensive thing i've ever said

that stuff isn't very offensive. poser

 

[CantThinkOfAName]

some times you gotta hit a b**ch cause she wont put out, or make you dinner




















I think that's possibly the most offensive thing I've ever said here, and that's saying something

Pretty sad considering I said a similar but better joke only a few posts above yours.