When I met Natalie Portman: A Story.

[Mister J]

:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

 

[hippy fascist]

This thread is a very clever troll.
- Whirly

No he's clearly just a sad lonely ****

 

[Whirlysplat]

No he's clearly just a sad lonely ****

I going to have to disagree, I think it's a bit of attention ****ing worthy of a masterclass.

- Whirly

 

[NDX]

This has been an absolute blast to read. Funniest thread in a while. Now to block this from my memory.

 

[DOG LIPS]

Lucky hand.

 

[Whirlysplat]

Lucky hand.

I want to sniff it!

- Whirly

 

[DOG LIPS]

I want to sniff it!

- Whirly

I want to BE it!

 

[Whirlysplat]

I want to BE it!

Agreed, if you're it can I sniff you?

- Whirly

 

[Justice-Man]

...dude...


stinkpalm...

 

[bored]

Should I post part 2 of the story? Nah, I'll leave that to imagination. Anyways, i'd like to add that when I met her and we had a great week (as friends) she gave me her cellphone number, but later changed it for other reasons and I haven't been able to contact her

Ah, so now it's a 'great week as friends' after pretty strongly implying in the last one that you had sex? Continuity errors always mar fan fiction.

Btw, it's always good to see a woman so hot even she can't resist grabbing her own ass.

 

[Swordmaster]

Should I post part 2 of the story? Nah, I'll leave that to imagination. Anyways, i'd like to add that when I met her and we had a great week (as friends) she gave me her cellphone number, but later changed it for other reasons and I haven't been able to contact her

I wonder why she changed it

 

[Kevin Roegele]

Allow me to post my own piece of fan fiction....

Mother: Hello? Anybody here? Oh, hi Jimmy.

Jimmy: Mom, I TOLD you to call me Star Wars Agent!

Mother: And I told you you're not going to another convention until you treat your father and me with some respect! Now have you been to school today?

Jimmy: School? Why go to school when I can hang out with Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill and....

Mother: ....don't say it...

Jimmy: .....Yoda.

Mother: Yoda isn't real! And you don't hang out with the Star Wars cast!

Mother calms down.

Mother: And Jimmy....I'm sorry but....Natalie Portman is NOT your girlfriend.

Jimmy (crying): Yes she is! YES SHE IS! I love her!

Mother looks out of the window and sees a female classmate of Jimmy's walk past. Then looks down at her son hunched over a monitor, with Natalie Portman adorned not only as the wallpaper, but as posters around her son's bedroom.

Mother: Jimmy....go out and talk to that girl. Or all your Star Wars merchendise goes in the trash.

Jimmy looks up with sceptical eyes but sees, this time, his mother is not kidding.

And so Jimmy tredges outside, right into the path of the girl.

Jimmy: Er......hi....

Girl: Your mom told you to come and talk to me, right?

Jimmy: No! Well.....yeah...

Girl: So did my mom.

The moral of the story is, never go thru life hiding because you think no-one will like you. Fantasizing about Natalie Portman is hiding from real life and real women. Go out and look and you'll find a million people like you and who DO like you.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

 

[Superhobo]

Alternate ending:

Jimmy: So, do you think it was right that Greedo shot first?
Girl: Greedo?
Jimmy: Greedo, the bounty hunter! Damn, *****. Learn yo'self.
Girl: Whatchoo say, boy?
Jimmy: ****e-****! Greedo couldn't kill nobody! Ho!

(Girl walks away.)

Jimmy: Wait, come back. I'm so lonely. LOVE ME!!!

 

[StarWarsAgent]

Allow me to post my own piece of fan fiction....

Mother: Hello? Anybody here? Oh, hi Jimmy.

Jimmy: Mom, I TOLD you to call me Star Wars Agent!

Mother: And I told you you're not going to another convention until you treat your father and me with some respect! Now have you been to school today?

Jimmy: School? Why go to school when I can hang out with Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill and....

Mother: ....don't say it...

Jimmy: .....Yoda.

Mother: Yoda isn't real! And you don't hang out with the Star Wars cast!

Mother calms down.

Mother: And Jimmy....I'm sorry but....Natalie Portman is NOT your girlfriend.

Jimmy (crying): Yes she is! YES SHE IS! I love her!

Mother looks out of the window and sees a female classmate of Jimmy's walk past. Then looks down at her son hunched over a monitor, with Natalie Portman adorned not only as the wallpaper, but as posters around her son's bedroom.

Mother: Jimmy....go out and talk to that girl. Or all your Star Wars merchendise goes in the trash.

Jimmy looks up with sceptical eyes but sees, this time, his mother is not kidding.

And so Jimmy tredges outside, right into the path of the girl.

Jimmy: Er......hi....

Girl: Your mom told you to come and talk to me, right?

Jimmy: No! Well.....yeah...

Girl: So did my mom.

The moral of the story is, never go thru life hiding because you think no-one will like you. Fantasizing about Natalie Portman is hiding from real life and real women. Go out and look and you'll find a million people like you and who DO like you.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

lol, that's some good fiction. So My name is Jimmy now? alright, whatever works for U guys. BTW, I been with real girls man. I meet real girls all the time, I go to a club once a week and get to meet tons of hot chicks. And yes, I been married, unlike so many of you, still trying to figure it out. I've had tons of GF's, married..Trust me, I had my share of cute girls..including hanging out with Nat in Rosarito ! eat that! hahahaha.

 

[hippy fascist]

lol, that's some good fiction. So My name is Jimmy now? alright, whatever works for U guys. BTW, I been with real girls man. I meet real girls all the time, I go to a club once a week and get to meet tons of hot chicks. And yes, I been married, unlike so many of you, still trying to figure it out. I've had tons of GF's, married..Trust me, I had my share of cute girls..including hanging out with Nat in Rosarito ! eat that! hahahaha.

How do these women feel about makin bacon in your mom's basement?

 

[StarWarsAgent]

How do these women feel about makin bacon in your mom's basement?

Fascist! I make more than bacon in the bedroom.

 

[hippy fascist]

Fascist! I make more than bacon in the bedroom.

Diorama's of grevious getting his ass whupped?

 

[StarWarsAgent]

Diorama's of grevious getting his ass whupped?

No. But let's just say it involves something you never done before.

 

[hippy fascist]

No. But let's just say it involves something you never done before.

That's IT, I'm gonna have to kill myslef, when this guy calls you virgin you KNOW it's all gone downhill

 

[StarWarsAgent]

That's IT, I'm gonna have to kill myslef, when this guy calls you virgin you KNOW it's all gone downhill

When Your Jedi Belt is facing down. It's time to quit.

 

[Edd Extraordinaire]

This has got to be the funniest stalker fiction in the history of man.

 

[Fried Gold]

BTW, I been with real girls.

LOL

 

[StarWarsAgent]

LOL

Just A reference to the guy with the fake plastic dolls sitting on his couch.

 

[Edd Extraordinaire]

Isn't that your collection, fanboy?

 

[hippy fascist]

Isn't that your collection, fanboy?

*star wars agent runs off to change pants*

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