Why are people so Anti-Social these days?

[redhawk23]

Are they?

 

[Shikamaru]

Nope. Selective memory my ass. Like I said in my previous post, maybe it was just the part of CA I was living in as opposed to the rest of the country but people were in fact far more social than they are now days. I wasn't imagining things or having illusions, I was actually outside most of my youth and not in my bedroom playing video games and reading comics nonstop like some fools. That last bit wasn't aimed at you Shikamaru.

Just curious, but how old were you 6 years ago? If you were in high school or younger, it only further validates the idea that it is just your selective memory. You're older and more mature now, so you notice more of the negative aspects of the world at this point.

Please don't get offended by my assertion. It applies to everyone. It is human nature for people to look bad on the "good old days" of the past, but the truth is that there never were any good old days. Nothing really changed; it is all nostalgia and selective memory at work.

 

[Hal_Jordan]

We never were social.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Polarization of beliefs. People are able to interact with people and only people who share their beliefs and don't get to see viewpoints from others who differ. So naturally when someone believes one thing and encounters someone who believes another, they are at a loss for how to comprehend their difference of opinion.

I'm the opposite of the person you described. I don't want to talk to people who only serve to reinforce my beliefs. I crave being challenged; as long as the convo is respectful and at a decent volume, not interested in a public argument. I'm also fine with throwing out a topic and listening to somebody ramble intelligently about it so I can pick their brain when they're done.

 

[DeadPresident]

People are just a disappointing concept in general, not just nowadays.

 

[Teelie]

You would be the exception to the average person. We're mostly drawn to others like us and while that definition has shifted (from family to tribe to country, ethnicity, etc), the core of it has not. We still gravitate towards people with our interests in general.

The internet is a great way to be exposed to new or reinforce existing ideas. The only thing is we tend to get grouped into the same "likes" as others have of ours and we stop seeing opposing views or opinions as much.

 

[Figs]

Just curious, but how old were you 6 years ago? If you were in high school or younger, it only further validates the idea that it is just your selective memory. You're older and more mature now, so you notice more of the negative aspects of the world at this point.

Please don't get offended by my assertion. It applies to everyone. It is human nature for people to look bad on the "good old days" of the past, but the truth is that there never were any good old days. Nothing really changed; it is all nostalgia and selective memory at work.

Not offended Shikamaru, I just don't agree with you wholly. I understand your point about people looking back on the good old days. I take it you meant "back" and not "bad". I don't think it's entirely nostalgia though. I remember my younger years well and things were different, once again at least where I'm from. I won't speak for the rest of the states in the country or the rest of CA though.

I have read an article about selective memory awhile back and agree that that is a real thing but in this case I personally am not remembering things in the past as being better than today simply because of the change I believe has happened. I do in fact remember how it was growing up in my neighborhood and town and it's not me thinking or remembering it being different.

Since you brought up the age thing earlier in your post, I graduated in 1999.

 

[charl_huntress]

People aren't any more anti-social today than in the past. The idea that we've gotten so much more anti-social is an illusion. It comes from nostalgia and selective memory, much like all other fictional "good ol' days".

I don't think this is true. Things were different. There was a time people felt safe to leave their doors unlocked at night. Things do change and people change with the times.

 

[Teelie]

I think that's a very dependent on where you're referring to as much as when. The fear of crime has always exaggerated the reality of crime. Now people are more afraid to leave doors unlocked than they would be had they not been exposed to the amount of news detailing it. The news is on 24 hours a day with constant reports of crime being committed even though many of them (the crimes) are down compared to what they were (some are up, but again, depending on where you live, it's probably still safe to leave a door unlocked).

 

[enterthemadness]

I hate having to talk to people mostly.


Like watching tv. I like playing video games sometimes. What else? Going to movies by myself. See, hmmmm...listening to music...driving by myself...reading a book.


Talking? Good god, I've never been a big fan. I have a speech issue and sometimes English feels like a second language to me. Esp in public or at work, where I try to not talk hardly.


For ****'s sake, I don't even like calling up about applications I turned in...cause I have to talk to someone.

 

[Shikamaru]

Not offended Shikamaru, I just don't agree with you wholly. I understand your point about people looking back on the good old days. I take it you meant "back" and not "bad". I don't think it's entirely nostalgia though. I remember my younger years well and things were different, once again at least where I'm from. I won't speak for the rest of the states in the country or the rest of CA though.

I have read an article about selective memory awhile back and agree that that is a real thing but in this case I personally am not remembering things in the past as being better than today simply because of the change I believe has happened. I do in fact remember how it was growing up in my neighborhood and town and it's not me thinking or remembering it being different.

Since you brought up the age thing earlier in your post, I graduated in 1999.

Do you live in a different area now? Do you socialize with the same type of people? There are several other factors to take into account.

Also, selective memory doesn't work that way. People don't fully realize they're in usage of selective memory when they're nostalgic over the past. Even when they do remember the bad things in their life going on at the time they're nostalgic over, it is often with a "yeah, looking back that thing wasn't so bad" touch to it.

Even in your case though, "anti-social" isn't the right word IMO. People still socialize with one another; there are just more alternative ways to do so. It is kinda impossible for people to truly become "anti-social". Humans are, by nature, social creatures. It would take a huge amount of time to change that.

I don't think this is true. Things were different. There was a time people felt safe to leave their doors unlocked at night. Things do change and people change with the times.

That had a lot more to do with the media adopting a sensation with crime since the 70's. Crime rates in general have been decreasing since the 80's, at least in USA and Canada.

Plus, I would argue that is more of a lesson we learned. What valid reason is there to why you should leave your door unlocked at night?

 

[Anita18]

I'm the opposite of the person you described. I don't want to talk to people who only serve to reinforce my beliefs. I crave being challenged; as long as the convo is respectful and at a decent volume, not interested in a public argument. I'm also fine with throwing out a topic and listening to somebody ramble intelligently about it so I can pick their brain when they're done.

Same here.

I learn so much from people who have different opinions from me. And frankly, I learn the most from online forum interactions with these folks. You have time to think out your words, they have time to think out their words, so there's less chance of emotional knee-jerk defenses and petty misunderstanding. It's like letter-writing, on a much faster timeline.

I still think we care. It shows when someone on a forum I'm on is seriously ill and people band together to try and take care of them. It's just that yeah, we're around so many people ALL THE TIME, that it's hard to focus on every individual. So we choose who we focus our attention on, but it doesn't mean we're becoming anti-social, really.


Also, I don't think anyone ever left their doors unlocked if they lived in a city. In a rural area, you wouldn't have people really coming across your house anyway so I can see why people wouldn't lock their doors if they lived in a farm.

I think suburbia is getting somewhat more paranoid, but I don't think unlocked doors were ever a thing everywhere at a given point in time.

 

[CyclopsWasRight]

Cell phones. They're convenient, but I prefer the days of simple flip phones. I hate how everyone is always so glued to their phones.

One day you'll look up and realize your kids put you in a nursing home.

Great post.

I've seen mothers walking down the street pushing their baby buggies and staring into their phone rather than where they're going.

My brother in-law works himself to the bone to support his kids but when he gets home he goes straight onto Candy Crush and barely notices the kids anymore, soon enough they'll be grown and he'll have missed it all

 

[charl_huntress]

That had a lot more to do with the media adopting a sensation with crime since the 70's. Crime rates in general have been decreasing since the 80's, at least in USA and Canada.

Plus, I would argue that is more of a lesson we learned. What valid reason is there to why you should leave your door unlocked at night?

That may be true, but times have changed because of those factors. People have more fears. In the past people had less fears and didn't lock their door because they didn't fear the consequence of leaving it unlocked. My point was people are different and communication changes as people change. Just goes with the territory.

I've seen mothers walking down the street pushing their baby buggies and staring into their phone rather than where they're going.

My brother in-law works himself to the bone to support his kids but when he gets home he goes straight onto Candy Crush and barely notices the kids anymore, soon enough they'll be grown and he'll have missed it all

It's funny I was out today at the park because it's a beautiful day and everyone I walked past was on the phone. I think I saw maybe two people who were not on their phone and they looked like they didn't want to talk. t:

 

[:eek:]

Why You Should Put Down Your Smartphone and Talk to Strangers

http://www.livescience.com/43375-why-talk-to-strangers.html

 

[Superwoman Prime]

That may be true, but times have changed because of those factors. People have more fears. In the past people had less fears and didn't lock their door because they didn't fear the consequence of leaving it unlocked. My point was people are different and communication changes as people change. Just goes with the territory.


It's funny I was out today at the park because it's a beautiful day and everyone I walked past was on the phone. I think I saw maybe two people who were not on their phone and they looked like they didn't want to talk. t:

I'm sure they were using Google contact lenses, instead.

 

[Superwoman Prime]

Another benefit of online communication with strangers is that you're less likely to pass instant judgement on someone prior to interaction. In real life, we often do this after a first glance. Detecting a suspicious demeanor can be useful for our safety, but it's mostly useless in modern western society.

 

[charl_huntress]

Another benefit of online communication with strangers is that you're less likely to pass instant judgement on someone prior to interaction. In real life, we often do this after a first glance. Detecting a suspicious demeanor can be useful for our safety, but it's mostly useless in modern western society.

Why do you think it's useless?

I do think you're right that people are quicker to pass judgment on new people they meet. People are less trusting of others.

 

[Doctor Evo]

Robbing a bank is an example of anti-social behavior. I think you guys might actually mean asocial.

 

[terry78]

I'm a real stoic person in real life. I crack jokes and what not on here, but if we were hanging out I'd make a snide comment here and there but wouldn't talk your ear off.

 

[Duran Man]

Robbing a bank is an example of anti-social behavior. I think you guys might actually mean asocial.