When I mess up, I like to think "how could I have done that better" so I can do better next time. And so I can't stop thinking, what would have made WW84 a great movie?
So here's my Backseat Director's cut.
After the mall scene we see Wonder Woman on the roof of the mall, cooling off after her skirmish, looking out over the city. She spies a playground where some kids are bullying Maxwell's son (mind you, we have not met Maxwell nor his son yet, so this is his intro). The bullies taunt him, "Your dad's a loser." "Is not." "Is too." "Is not!" "Loser, loser" they chant, starting to push him around. "Go away." "We don't hang out with losers anyway." And they leave, victorious. Wonder Woman looks down on the scene with the face of concerned compassion. The boy wipes his eyes, and *thud* Wonder Woman lands behind him. "Are you alright?" "You're too late. Why didn't you come earlier?" "I knew you could handle it." "No I couldn't." She scoops him up, eye to eye. "Spunk." "They called my father a loser." "Your father's not a loser, I'm sure." "Maybe he is." "A daddy is a great man," she says. "Never forget that." and she sets him down. He wipes his eyes again "I don't know." and he looks around, but she has vanished.
There, now Wonder Woman is part of the Father-Son story arc, and when the son embraces his father at the end, she gets some of the credit in the mind of the audience.
Next alteration, in the scene(s) with Diana and Maxwell, instead of treating him like "You're a jerk and I wish you weren't here" her attitude should be strangely grave and concerned, like "My friend, you have a terminal disease and you will need to suffer much and make great sacrifice, but you can overcome this." No change to her lines, just a change in her attitude. Like, she mutters absently about the TV she does not have, but her mind and heart are just full of overwhelming concern for this man. She can't say it to him, but it is all over her face.
Ok, when Barbara spills her papers, Diana immediately says yes to lunch. Better still, Diana invites her to lunch first. At lunch she is alot warmer and funnier and we sense these too oddballs could quickly become best buds.
Of course, trim out all the 80's loathing: the shoplifting girls, the whole mall intro with the butts waving in the air and the butt staring. Cut the fashion jokes (Steve's wardrobe scene is just not funny) and all the gratuitous negativity, especially those disturbing graphics during WW's end speech.
When Maxwell asks Reagan for his wish it goes like this, "Sir, what do you wish for?" "I wish... (with a twinkle in his eye) everyone was a Republican." Maxwell turns around the room. "And you general, what do you wish for?" "More nukes!" declares Alexander Haig. "More nukes...more Republicans, and in return - I want to be treated as a foreign country (etc)."
Yeah, and during the Museum fundraiser, none of the guys are preying upon Gal, because that is totally unrealistic anyway.
OK, we want to revisit the mall scene in the second half and demonstrate just how powerless WW has become. And then after she leaves Steve (they breakup under an elm on the Washington Mall next to the reflecting pool, since it's such a more romantic setting) she runs off heart broken and takes flight. We let her fly in wonder for a bit as she feels the wind in her hands, and then comes the big display of power. She is flying on her back, dreamily, when a jet screams right by her, breaking her concentration and sending her falling to the ground, where she barely manages to make a stylish landing. She looks up and sees a dogfight forming in the sky, sirens are going off in the city, and people are running for shelter in fear. "Russians are attacking!" And she looks around her with compassion, and then leaps into the sky.
Yes, it is the big battle in DC the audience was expecting. WW is lassoing jets and riding rocket missiles, and landing on jet windshields, and Maxwell comes on the jet dashboard screen and says, "Testing, testing, this is Maxwell Lord testing the new broadcast system on the military network. Can you hear me? What do you wish for today?" "I wish I could get this butt off of my windshield!" says the exasperated pilot, trying to see around WW who is sitting on his windshield at the moment. And she is gone. And she is inside the jet sitting directly behind him. "Get me out of here!" she says. "Oh my gosh, it got even worse," he says. WW starts banging on the ceiling to get out. "Hey stop that!" he says. "Can't you eject me out of here or something?" she asks. "Where's your parachute; you've obviously never been in a jet before." "I was in one yesterday, and it was fine." "Yeah, I'd love to see that." "We were invisible." *Enemy missile has locked on. Execute evasive maneuvers* says the jet voice assistant. "We were invisible - that's it!" and Wonder Woman starts rubbing her hands together. "What are you doing back there?" as he twists the jet into a corkscrew. "Making us invisible," and she leans forward over him to plant her hand on the dashboard. "Woah! Don't touch anything up here!" he warns. "I have to make us invisible!" "Would you get back in your seat!" But she slams her palm on the dash. "That's the Eject button!!" and they both go shooting out of the jet as it blows up from the missile, and he comes floating down in his parachute, and Wonder Woman flies up to chat with him in mid air, "Are you alright?" "Please - stay away from me. I'm going to be fine. I was fine. Until you came. Now, if you would, I wish you would leave me alone" "As you wish." as they are drifting downwards. And his parachute catches on the top point of the Washington Monument and he is left dangling there. "A little help here!" "Careful what you wish for," and she leaves him with a wink. We see his face distraught and frustrated, and then terrified as he starts to slide off the monument and plummet below. But she swoops in to catch him, as though he were a bride in her arms being carried across the threshold, and she lands with him. "I love you!" he says jubilantly, taking her face in his hands for a big kiss. And she is like, O my. And sticks up her hand to hold up a falling jet which lands on them. "Wow! You can come by any time," he says. And she is kind of embarrassed and confused/flustered about the whole thing and makes an abrupt exit with an "I gotta go!" and she is up in the air to finish the dogfight.
So yeah, mega action, hilarious hijinx, and a big payoff for all the action fans. In many ways, it is the climax of the film. Then comes the denouement - tying up the loose ends, beating Cheetah, lecturing Maxwell, reuniting father and son.
And for the final scene with the body swap guy, we're going for something a bit more punchy than Hallmark. She and he trade banalities about his wardrobe. "My friends say I look unfashionable." "You look good. I think you always look good. I've seen you naked." "Thanks. What? What did you say." "I said I've seen you naked." "For a moment I thought you said - " "That's what I said." "Huh??" "This summer. During your missing days. I was with you, well not really you, but my old friend - lover...it's complicated." "I'm sorry, I'm.. outta here," as he makes his exit, somewhat horrified. She calls after him, "I think I left my lipstick in your bed - if you get a chance, to find it... you could give it back to me," but he is out of earshot and picking up his pace walking away in a hurry. "You have a big birthmark on your butt!" she calls, but all for naught. She plants her palm on her forehead and says to herself, "Well that went well, Diana. And that is why you will never love again." And then Lynda Carter gives her a big hug from behind and says to her, "Don't worry, Diana, it will all go well." "Who are you?" "I'm you, 30 years from now. It's a time travel thing." "I look good." "You will love again." "This guy?" "Not him," as Lynda starts to walk away, as though something is up, in her storyline. "With who? Where do I find him?" calls Diana. "Steve. It's always Steve," calls back Lynda as she hurries away on her own story. "OH my goodness, are you serious? That would be, like a wish come true. A good wish. Not a, not...oh my...that's...wonderful," and she watches a balloon float away as she thinks of what will be.
So yeah, a lot more fun. Like the 80's.
Give her a relationship with the son. Turn her relationship with Maxwell into one of compassion, give her a friendship with Barbara, enjoy the 80's, and heal the movie.
