You know the rules. Just report those moments in comic books that really bug you. I'll chime in once and a while with an update. And for courtesy's sake, for events up to a year ago, put them in SPOILER tags and give the name of the mag you're reporting. So, if something in Ultimate Spider-Man 62 pissed you off, do this.
Ultimate Spider-Man 62
Something that pisses you off
"We have to save Galactus!", Fantastic Four 243 (1982)
John Bryne. No other name inspires quite as much debate as his. We can all acknowledge that at some point he Had It. It let him create one of the most memorable runs on the Fantastic Four since the days of Lee/Kirby, one that was not eclipsed until Mark Waid, with his 'Imaginauts', came along. However, projects like Chapter One and his work with Spider-Man 'luminaries' such as Howard Mackie, Bob Harras, and Ralph Macchio have led us to believe he's Lost It, whatever It may be. Perhaps one day he shall find It again. A good start would be to go back to his early stories and see what worked there, what made him such a beloved icon. However, one story he should definitely skip in searching for the key to his popularity would be this one, FF 243.
Everyone knows about Galactus. Big guy, wears a really cool helmet, gets along by eating planets. He first appeared in Fantastic Four 48. His herald (more like scout) Silver Surfer appeared and basically told the Earthlings to get out, this was about to become a buffet. Upon learning the planet was inhabited, Galactus basically said he was going to eat it anyway because he was so much better then us (don't you hate when superior beings do that? As Marge Simpson said, "Do they really have to rub it in like that?"). Well, he was beaten back despite overwhelming odds and returned to menace the planet several times, although as of yet, he hasn't succeeded (although with the sheer number of homicides occuring throughout the Avengers titles, you'd be hardpressed to tell the difference. Ooh, I made a funny!)
Well, Terrax, one of Galactus' meaner Heralds, got fed up of working for the Big G and basically abandoned him far from any worlds appropriate for him to feast on. He then led the enraged Galactus on a merry chase, further exhausting Conehead's energy, until Terrax decided to make his last stand on the planet whose inhabitants (i.e., the FF) had caused his enslavement to Galactus. Surrounding Manhattan in a force bubble, he lifted the whole thing up into outer space (one of his powers being a mastery over earth and stone).
He then gave the order for Reed, Ben, and Johnny to murderize Galactus, the alternative being the use of the primo New York real estate in his position to... well, the words 'ramming speed!' come to mind.
Things started going south. Onboard Galactus' ship, Thing observed "...if you ask me [Galactus is] a much nicer guy than Terrax! Seems like we're on the wrong side in this one."
UH-OH! Frankly, I don't care if Galactus is Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Tom Hanks all rolled into one. HE EATS PLANETS! He's been the sole cause of genocide after genocide after genocide. His very existence precipitates the deaths of billions time and time again.
Well, Galactus and Terrax threw down, ending with Terrax being reduced back to mortal status... to the left of the top of the World Trade Center (ouch). Galactus, however, still needed to binge and so started the whole "I'm going to build a doomsday machine to eat your world" process (and no, said doomsday machine did not look like a fork, knife, and spoon).
With a little help from the Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, the Wasp, and Dr. Strange (his contribution being, ironically enough, a spell that forced Galactus to face his trillions of victims), the FF bested Galactus. Reed observed that Galactus "is only moments from death." Johnny, demonstrating wisdom (or maybe just common sense) beyond his years, observed "I hate to sound hard-hearted (cold-hearted being a physical impossibility for the youth), but that WILL solve everything, won't it?"
Reed, from his metaphorical ivory tower, said "No, Johnny, it won't. And if you'll think for a moment you'll realize our problems have only begun!"
"I know what you're going to say, Reed, and I concur," said the Sentinel of Liberty, who had fought Hitler. Adolf, by the way, compared to Galactus is like a firecracker compared to a Gamma Bomb. "Galactus may be the greatest menace we've ever faced, but he is also a living being."
"We have no choice," Reed continued to moralize. "We have to save Galactus!"
That thud you heard was my jaw hitting the floor. I admit, they lost me somewhere around the "Galactus is a living being = we must save Galactus" equation. Perhaps Bryne was trying to say something about the sanctity of life, but GALACTUS! He is not going to repent, change his ways, and Sin No More. He's a virus, a parasite upon the galaxy!
What's worse is that Daredevil and Spider-Man were watching from the wings. You're telling me none of these guys were going to go down there and inject some simple common sense into the equation? Picture Elektra or Gwen Stacy dying a million, no, a billion times over. It doesn't matter if Galactus FEELS SORRY about what he does. The only, ONLY, logical conclusion is to do for the old dog what the old dog cannot do for himself and put him out of his misery (and I do mean MISERY. "If Galactus had but the tears to cry for those whose lives he had wrought, the stars would drown..." and so on and so on).
But no. They fixed Galactus up, changed his oil, even gave him a new Herald (in this case, Johnny's girlfriend, Frankie Raye. Who, when told her job involved selecting planets and their inhabitants for possible extinction, remarked that she's 'only' be killing "bug-eyed monsters". You sure know how to pick 'em, Johnny!). And so Galactus walked into the sunset, ready to devour some other world. But hey, as long as Reed doesn't have to hear from them, he can sleep at night. This is one of those moments where the only response can be to bang your head against something and say "Stupid stupid STUPID!" like a mantra against evil. And that, more then anything else, makes it a fitting kick-off for Worst Moments in Comic Books.
the worst moment happend yesrter day when marvel sent out Apoc vs dracula witch i thought was going to be pretty good and then i read it... are you Kiddin me hopefully it gets better in the second issue. It's basicly bram stroker's dracula with a new side story so far but I am waiting to be proven wrong because Marvel has never let me down befor.
I'd say the Ben Reilly clone NOT being Spider-Man. It was a hugely controversial move, but the way Marvel backed down in the face of fan protests was embarassing and soul destroying, and made one realise that there isn't that much freedom for the medium after all.
It was a great idea and one of the few that had never been done in comics before. And it wasn't a new Spider-Man - it was the original Spider-Man coming back. I loved that. It's such a huge shame that Marvel could never follow thru.
Onslaught
Teen Tony
Bald hulk who shaves his head to "blend in with people better"-Like the being 7 foot green thing isn't going to complicate things.
Bone claws on Wolverine
Dissasembled
Frank Tieri-ANY comic he writes
Joe Quesada-Any comic he edits
Banner shaved his head because he was on the run, the visual they were looking for was a dude with hair, so it was a temprary way of slipping under the radar.
Worst moment(s), hmm... bringing Aunt May back destroying the beauty that was ASM#400.
the horrible ordeal they had Peter go through, killing off Aunt May, having Peter and the whole clone thing and prison, then something about loosing a baby, having them almost breaking up, then killing off mary Jane, the revealing she is alive. How much drama can they put him through?
I dont know if this is a moment, but for a time I didnt know that X-Men was about hating someone just because they are different. When I was younger and first started looking at it (around the 90s) it just seemed to me that they were super beings. There was even a X-Force where they didnt even look close to human, the villians I mean.
But now its more about the issue of hating someone just because they were born different.
I think I remember reading somewhere that the 90s were more about good looking art and not well written stories, I dont know how true that is.
What do you think?
1. A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life: soldiers and nurses who were heroes in an unpopular war.
her·o·ine
n.
1. A woman noted for courage and daring action.
2. A woman noted for special achievement in a particular field.
3. The principal female character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.
4. According to Kevin Smith...
Uhh, Kev... maybe you could try writing a female hero who HASN'T been raped. Just a thought.
I'd say the Ben Reilly clone NOT being Spider-Man. It was a hugely controversial move, but the way Marvel backed down in the face of fan protests was embarassing and soul destroying, and made one realise that there isn't that much freedom for the medium after all.
It was a great idea and one of the few that had never been done in comics before. And it wasn't a new Spider-Man - it was the original Spider-Man coming back. I loved that. It's such a huge shame that Marvel could never follow thru.
Marvel hit the panic button way too fast. Whether you liked the Clone Saga or not, you can't argue that it had some great characters introduced, that were completely ignored after the saga. Ben Reilly was a superb character in his own rights, (IMO he surpassed Pete) who was just discarded like trash after Marvel had put so much development into him
The majority of fans having problem with the switch? Fine, send him back to exile, have him make Pete believe he's dead. Killing him, and than degenerating him in a panal that went against all continuity is not cool. Neither is having Peter retconning, somebody who died to save him, out of existence and memory. When Pete isn't playing ignorance about it, he cracks funnies about Ben usually about "Forgetting it ever happened". About as tasteful as me joking about my buddies who came back from Iraq in pine and stripes
the worst moment happend yesrter day when marvel sent out Apoc vs dracula witch i thought was going to be pretty good and then i read it... are you Kiddin me hopefully it gets better in the second issue. It's basicly bram stroker's dracula with a new side story so far but I am waiting to be proven wrong because Marvel has never let me down befor.
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