Your Scene Sucks

[chamber-music]

she's the girl you see at all the "scene" shows, putting her chest piece prominently on display for all her super-indie (see: pop-punk) friends to admire. much like other scenesters, she is completely void of any originality and bases her identity off of whatever she sees everyone else doing.
she updates her livejournal on an hourly basis, making sure to keep everyone informed about her ever-evolving and always drama-filled relationships. speaking of boys, she only dates ones with the exact same taste in music, because in the end isn't that what matters most?
her jeans and cowboy shirts come directly from urban outfitters, but when asked she'll tell you she can't stand "that store." as for her hair color, it changes as quickly as her mood, and trust me, that's fast!
need to find her late at night? she'll more than likely be at the local underwear party- just look for the girl with the poorly thought-out nautical stars tattooed in all the right/wrong places!

About

in a scene flooded with jet-black hair, piercings, and eyeliner, this spunky dude is a breath of fresh air. unfortunately for him, he looks just as silly as his contemporaries and appears to be suffering from an even worse identity crisis.​

one could argue that he might be the male equivalent of rainbow brite. his wardrobe primarily consists of brightly-colored american apparel products. this might be acceptable and even cute for a teenage girl, but for a 20-something guy with hairy legs? this is a problem.​

it doesn't stop there! he appears to be reliving his childhood; he embraces nostalgia in the form of retro video games, ninjas, robots, dinosaurs, 80's icons, and anything with a moog synthesizer.​

despite his uber flamboyant appearance, his nostalgic tendencies, and his dedication to pop-punk prepackaged for preteens, he does have one masculine quality: a crush on paramore's lead singer, hayley williams.​

sadly, she is nine years his junior.​

About

when kids get bored of just being “emo,” they tend to migrate toward something more chaotic. this is where the brootal character comes in. almost like parasites, they move from one scene to another, draining all originality from that genre before moving onto the next.​

not sophisticated enough to understand technical metal, and too much of a pansy to hang with the death metal crowd, he hangs with the rest of the brootal kids. as a collective, they have no idea where they are headed. they listen to brootal music not because they have an appreciation or understanding of it, but because it is practically unlistenable.​

he works on grindcore logos in his notebook all day long, as he aspires to one day design band merch. to show the world his poetic side, he renames himself using alliteration- davey deathkill or stevey suicide, for example.​

much like the mindless music they listen to, one brootal kid is hard to differentiate from another due to the swarm of white belts and out of control hair.​

About

this bro has gone through every possible scene phase in the past few years, so he reverts back to hip hop- which he vaguely remembers being cool in fourth grade. signs of his previous flings with the "scene" are still apparent in his plugs, hidden tattoos and the swoop haircut that resides under his fitted cap.​

inspired by icons such as pharrel and jay z, the faux hip-hopper runs his own urban streetwear line that mainly consists of googled images and all-over gold leaf printing. references to drugs, pop culture, and blatantly copyrighted images are a must.​

he proudly displays his $800 bape hoodie which is, unbeknownst to him, a fake. his shop of choice is karmaloop.com, and frequently spends way more than he is worth on limited-edition nike dunks.​

although he favors hip hop and lists his ethnicity as "of african descent" on myspace, he resides somewhere in portland and plays drums for a metalcore band. to make things worse, the faux hip-hop scenester doesn't know a single black person and fears for his life when one enters the room.​

About

this guy is single-handedly responsible for the commercialization of your favorite bands, childhood television shows, and quirky indie movies. his other favorite shirts include such witty sayings as... "i saw your mom on myspace," "the voices in my head are telling you to shut up," and "can't sleep... the clowns will eat me!" he can't commit to single trend (no permanent hairdye or real tattoos) because it all changes so quickly. despite his willingness to follow whatever trend his favorite store features that week, his shirts always seem a year or two behind the times.
you know your favorite band is no longer part of the underground once this kid starts hawking their merch.​

Source
http://yourscenesucks.com/

Its funny cause its kinda true

 

[chamber-music]

this utterly useless scene queen is internet-famous for no apparent reason other than the fact that she looks like a clown and is as naive as she is colorful.​

she claims that she invented fashion trends like stripes and becomes furious if anyone “steals” her hairstyle or any of her other patented looks. making it a point to hunt down anyone who has a similar style and subsequently spending countless hours chastising others, she still can't help but wonder why she only has friends in the online world.​

the scene queen boasts that she is buddybuddy with fellow myspace icon jeffree star, but outside of gender-bending 15 year-olds, who really cares?​

like most "artsy" girls her age, she has dreams of being a fashion designer and attempts to pass off bedazzled trinkets from michaels as jewelry. all that she has truly mastered is the art of manipulating mindless fans into buying her cheap junk through endless blog postings.​

do mommy and daddy really know what their little girl is up to when she really should be doing her homework?​

About

she's 14 and spending every dime her parents give her lining her favorite bassist's pockets! pete wentz is her idol and in her eyes he can do no wrong, whether he's designing teeshirts, sponsoring bands, or posing half-naked for gap.
the would-be tattoo on her calf? she stood outside a chili's for three hours in the freezing chicago winter in order to wrangle that one. it's sharpie right now, but the minute she turns 18 it's going permanent.
she's sick of all the kids at school who claim to be fob fans, she has been there since the bands inception (2006). she knows no one loves her boys like she does; she may be young, but she's absolutely convinced she'll eventually be pete's one true love.

About

marilyn manson, the undertaker, and bozo the clown- this guy's a conglomerate of them all! his favorite store is hot topic but a lot of his accessories are found around the house. his mother's makeup, his father's ties, and his sister's socks have all been donated towards the cause of this outfit.
two years ago, he had blonde hair and an abercrombie-wardrobe, but that all changed the second he first heard my chemical romance playing on a random myspace page. from that moment on, his entire existence could be summed up with just three words: "i'm not okay."
his obsession with such angst-ridden music is sort of ironic since he hasn't suffered a day in his upper middle-class suburban life. his favorite songs revolve around girls covered in blood, nightmares with knives and setting his friends on fire, yet he is terrified of getting a shot.
anyone still dressing like this past the age of 16 should seek immediate psychiatric help.

About

she more closely resembles a warrior from mortal kombat than an actual human being. tattoos cover every inch of her body, facial piercings obscure her features, and the subdermal brass knuckle implant wards off anyone who doesn't take the body mod lifestyle seriously. small children burst into tears when she walks by, and aunt beverly has trouble recognizing her at family reunions. yes, she might look like something out of hellraiser, but that doesn't stop her from posing nude at suicidegirls.com. thank god for the altporn audience, because no one in the "real world" would hire her- not even the local gas station.
as soon as she gets her first sg paycheck, she's rushing out to get that earth crisis facial tattoo she's always wanted.​

About

he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, and premarital sex? well, maybe. unlike his nerdy scenester counterparts, this guy takes care of himself. his daily exercise routine consists of 50 roundhouse kicks, performing windmills until his shoulders give out, and at least 10 minutes of mock stage dives into his parents pool.​

he's from a rare breed of the hardcore fan; very few exist past the age of 21. due to their adolescent abstinence, guys like this often lose all signs of their former "posi" attitude and become raging alcholics. awkward doesn't even begin to explain how difficult it is to explain "edge" tattoos to chicks at the bar. if you want to contact him for crucial mosh tips, don't hesitate to IM him at xedgextilxdeathx​

 

[Logan's Runt]

The Faux hip hop kid looks exactly like someone I know!

And woot to the Mortal Kombatcore! Bahahahaha.

These are great.

 

[PLAS]

mwahahahahahahaha!!!!

that's so funny

each show we play, there's more kids like that popping up

 

[guitarsingerguy]

Bwahahaha!!! My favorite is when those kids all come into the store to try out guitars. They're generally flabbergasted when I make them buy the guitars they've just scratched with their massive belt buckles, chains, bracelets, etc.

 

[PLAS]

Bwahahaha!!! My favorite is when those kids all come into the store to try out guitars. They're generally flabbergasted when I make them buy the guitars they've just scratched with their massive belt buckles, chains, bracelets, etc.

maybe that's why there's so many bands that suck, these guys are forced into buying guitars they scratch with their apparel, then since they're stuck with the guitar decide to start a band

 

[guitarsingerguy]

maybe that's why there's so many bands that suck, these guys are forced into buying guitars they scratch with their apparel, then since they're stuck with the guitar decide to start a band

Then...then it's my fault? Oh my God...I'm...I'm... *runs off to go become Brootal!* I'm gonna cut myself something fierce for this.

 

[sinewave]

yep, looks like the typical crowd at any indie-rock venue in town. i've seen too many of those hot topic core dorks walking around town. i'd love to see their exaggeratedly over-sized pants get sucked under a running lawnmower.

 

[chamber-music]

Bwahahaha!!! My favorite is when those kids all come into the store to try out guitars. They're generally flabbergasted when I make them buy the guitars they've just scratched with their massive belt buckles, chains, bracelets, etc.

They probabley didn't want to buy them just pose with them

 

[Logan's Runt]

They probabley didn't want to buy them just pose with them

For MySpace pictures.

 

[Manic]

The Faux Hip-Hop and Popcore images are so true, it's scary.

 

[chamber-music]

The Faux Hip-Hop and Popcore images are so true, it's scary.

yep

 

[Outsiderzedge]

The last one fails. Only a very small minority of straight edgers, mostly angsty dumbasses, dress that way.

 

[PLAS]

The last one fails. Only a very small minority of straight edgers, mostly angsty dumbasses, dress that way.

if you see it in your town and I see it in my town, consider we live in different countries and that I've seen guys (and girls too) dressed that way, then it's not a minority

but it's a ****load of them, which is too much

 

[Matt Murdock]

Those are hilarious. Glad I don't fall in any of the categories.

 

[William_C]

All of those are funny as hell. I hope who ever did those comes up with some more.

 

[Why Are You Crouching Spock?]

Sure glad theres not a short sleeve shirt type wearing, fashion, hate, thing.

 

[terry78]

The mall is basically an amalgamation of about 4 of those styles every day around 3pm when school lets out.

--------
A couple more I do see all the time downtown -

with more gaudy accessories than a williamsburg thrift store, this gal uses her daddy's credit card to stay hip! she is an art school dropout and has no intention of furthering her education. rather, she aspires to become a hairdresser one day; beauty school, here she comes! please note: this will not actually happen.

her taste in music taste changes based upon what's being spun at whatever club is trendy that week. dance music is her absolute fave, but her friends have no idea about her checkered past.

once a ska queen, she now works as hard as she can to preserve her fashionable hipster image by mimicking the incoming trends, and immediately ditches anything that might have been cool two minutes ago. this behavior prevents her from forming any individual identity whatsoever.

she aspires to work in the fashion industry, and she will- folding clothes at old navy for the rest of her life.

he's the last of a dying breed. the prehistoric emo only emerges from the depths of his studio apartment when his favorite bands reunite for one last show- and even then, he shows no sign of enthusiasm whatsoever.

once an avid fan of the underground emo scene, he now cringes at the sight of today's batch of kids. he avoids mainstream media altogether, would rather listen to npr than podcasts and has no idea why anyone would panic at a disco. his favorite thrift stores are now raided by trend-hopping teens, making him resort to wearing the same vintage tees he has had for years.

he cries when he listens to pinkerton and spends days at a time organizing his vinyl collection. he refuses to join the kids on the current social networking sites as he finds them repulsive, yet seems to forget about the long since abandoned makeoutclub account he made years ago.

his casual-yet-somewhat dorky look has become the mainstream, and he is no longer identified as the emo king he once was. tear.

----

Make Prehistoric Emo a few shades darker and I think you may have me down pat.

 

[William_C]

The mall is basically an amalgamation of about 4 of those styles every day around 3pm when school lets out.

lmao I was at the mall just last week, and I'll be damn at about 20 minutes after, the mall was filled with atleast 5 of those scenes listed

 

[Why Are You Crouching Spock?]

Is that for real?
​

 

[William_C]

Somewhere it is

 

[The Lizard]

Back in the '80s they called this look "Pat Benatar wannabe" (see Fast Times at Ridgemont High for more details).

 

[terry78]

You tend to see more of the outlandish stuff in large cities as opposed to smaller towns.

 

[Why Are You Crouching Spock?]

You tend to see more of the outlandish stuff in large cities as opposed to smaller towns.

Yea, that's the same here, alot of pencil necked geeks who dress like neo with the shades and the jacket with tails.

 

[chamber-music]

​

Is that for real?​

There are girls like that all over social networking sites and the trendy hip bars in your local big city.

You go to shoreditch or Hoxton in London and you meet a few.