It wasn't what? If you're trying to say it was never meant to be canon, then you're dead wrong.
Ease up, tiger, maybe get your facts straight before being so confident. Joss is on record somewhere saying as far as he's concerned Coulson died in Avengers and he only ever intended AoS as a kind of "what if?" situation.
Yes, the shows reference the movies - nobody's arguing that. Thing is, it's a one-way street, it's not reciprocated. It's always been the "what if?" situation, like a branching timeline type of vibe: within AoS the events of the movies have occurred, but it's neither here-nor-there within the movies whether AoS happened. Fans can assume it if they want, it works, fans can assume it didn't if they want, but as far as anything concrete goes AoS is a non-entity within the MCU.
Carter's a little different due to Jarvis in Endgame, but Carter was made by the MCU producers proper. It's the only show pre-Disney that Feige gave the nod to make. Couple that with Joss's take that Coulson died in Avengers, it's pretty cut-and-dry.
As to your discussion with Vile, why would using the same actor necessarily mean the same continuity/history, again? It could, should they have struck some deal with Netflix. Yes. It also couldn't, and that would be the more-likely scenario given they've cut ties with Netflix. Way more likely it's just "we like Charlie, we want to use Daredevil, here's our take on PG-13 Matt Murdock".