15 Minutes 15 Minutes: Eggyman

[Eggyman]

whats your opinion about the Israel-Gaza war?

My opinion is the same as it would be for any other war. It's stupid. Make love, not Thor.

If you were an animal (other then a chicken or a chicken egg) what would it be?

A cat. I could lick my balls, lie in front of the fire, eat, sleep, jump up trees, mark my territoy... all the stuff I do now

If you were a food (other then an egg) what would it be?

Probably a cucumber. I'd still have a slight chance of getting some.

If you were a U.S. citizen who would you of voted for in the 2008 elections?

Obama. Wise choice, seems decent. Probably the person who'll do the least damage.

What relegion are you?(i bet you're egg-nostic )

Agnostic.

Do you see yourself as sort of a gimmick poster with all your egg refrences?

No I don't. But I'm getting the feeling that some are almost trying to make me that way.

It's pretty insulting really. My name is Eggyman, and yes, I have egg-flavoured avies... that's really as far as it goes with me.

For instance, take this thread. How many times have I myself mentioned eggs? Not once. Who has mentioned eggs? Lots of other people. This post I'm replying to is a classic example. How many times have you mentioned eggs in a not-very-funny way just in this post?


....

Why would you take off your shoes before jumping in front of a bus?

I am still puzzling over the answer to this. Most likely it's to **** with some guy's head to the point that he'll talk about it on the net.

 

[Eggyman]

Sorry, Blu

Since other people are still asking questions...

You still getting trouble from your bunny boiler?

I have no idea what you're talking about. Everything is fine and dandy.

Are you really a psycho hiding behind you unwavering happiness?

Sure. I'm like a British Dexter. I am a façade, a shadow, and a grumpy bastard in the mornings.

Have you ever done porn? (if so you dirty ****er)

Only home made. I was pretty impressed with myself. I have a nice sex face and it lasted longer than I thought it did.

If Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry asked you to re-enact 2G1C with them would you?

No. sh** is sh** no matter whose it is.

Are You a Crunchy Nutter?

No. I HATE cereal. I like a bacon butty for my breakfast, or some fruit, or mebbi just a lil toast with jam on. I used to eat crunchy nut cornflakes though - they're the only cereal I could stand enough to swallow, but they're like laxatives. In and out like a ninja they are.

 

[Shemtov]

No I don't. But I'm getting the feeling that some are almost trying to make me that way.

It's pretty insulting really. My name is Eggyman, and yes, I have egg-flavoured avies... that's really as far as it goes with me.

For instance, take this thread. How many times have I myself mentioned eggs? Not once. Who has mentioned eggs? Lots of other people. This post I'm replying to is a classic example. How many times have you mentioned eggs in a not-very-funny way just in this post?

well id you don't like it you should of told us.

 

[Eggyman]

well id you don't like it you should of told us.

That is besides the point. I am asking for it with an absurd name like the one I have, so I am quite ok with people making a joke out of it. What I don't like is what you have just done: Turned it around and implied that I am the one who makes egg jokes all the time. Don't imagine it; just look with your own eyes. You are the one who is going on about it, not me.

You get it now?

 

[The Original Bamfer]

What themes would you want to see for the next Hype! Idol?

I'm hungry... prepare the best text-meal I've ever had.

Why does knowsbleed suck?

 

[Eggyman]

What themes would you want to see for the next Hype! Idol?

Songs from the 60s.

Bond film songs.

Songs from comic books films. :/... or maybe not.

Those to start with

I'm hungry... prepare the best text-meal I've ever had.

For your drink I have a selection, master Bamf: Good ol' beer, cherry coke, or that American stuff you like - Mountain dew.

For starters, some buffalo wings in sticky BBQ sauce.

For mains I'll serve you a mixed grill of steak cooked to your liking, grilled chicken breast topped with melted cheese, grilled tomato, fried chicken, spicy sausage... some BBQ beans on the side, corn on the cob, fries, coleslaw, a basket of garlic bread, and a mixture of onion rings and coated garlic mushrooms.

For afters I have for you a Belgian triple chocolate gateaux, with fresh cream and cherries.

I trust everything is to your liking, sir?

Why does knowsbleed suck?

The real question is, why doesn't he swallow?

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Songs from the 60s.

Bond film songs.

Songs from comic books films. :/... or maybe not.

Those to start with

I was epecting something like, "Oasis Week."

For your drink I have a selection, master Bamf: Good ol' beer, cherry coke, or that American stuff you like - Mountain dew.

For starters, some buffalo wings in sticky BBQ sauce.

For mains I'll serve you a mixed grill of steak cooked to your liking, grilled chicken breast topped with melted cheese, grilled tomato, fried chicken, spicy sausage... some BBQ beans on the side, corn on the cob, fries, coleslaw, a basket of garlic bread, and a mixture of onion rings and coated garlic mushrooms.

For afters I have for you a Belgian triple chocolate gateaux, with fresh cream and cherries.

I trust everything is to your liking, sir?

Apparently you're trying to kill me... But that's alright by me, because it all sounds delicious!

The real question is, why doesn't he swallow?

Hahaha... I have to say I'm pretty proud of the unintentional setup.

 

[knowsbleed]

Why is Bamfer such a sissified ninny?

Why do you hate Jimmy?

Do sniff your fingers after testing the waters?

If you were as flexible as a cat... would you... you know?

Really?

Wow?

 

[Eggyman]

Why is Bamfer such a sissified ninny?

I didn't know that he was

BUT, he won't be after eating that meal. He'll be butch, and nearing a heart attack. A man, with hair on his chest and his swingers between his legs.

Why do you hate Jimmy?

I don't. I just like telling him I do.

Do sniff your fingers after testing the waters?

Sometimes I'm tempted, you know, before I do anything else to that area.

If you were as flexible as a cat... would you... you know?

I am as flexible as a cat

Really?

Mmhmm.

Wow?

I know! Why buy the cow when you can have the sex for free? (name the film)

 

[DBella]

Tell me a bit more about this... crotchless purple jumpsuit of yours. Who designed it? How much did it cost and is it available in major department stores?

You mentioned that you are 'always tapping'. What was the last thing you tapped and how many times?

What is your favorite toy as a child?

What is the first book you ever read?

What is the worst gift you ever received?

If you're not Eggyman, who would you be?

Have you ever been arrested or get caught with your hand in the cookie jar?

 

[Eggyman]

Hello sexy.

Tell me a bit more about this... crotchless purple jumpsuit of yours. Who designed it? How much did it cost and is it available in major department stores?

I'm sorry, it's custom made. Basically I just found an old jumpsuit and ripped the crotch out. It's a simple design that can be applied to most pants.

You mentioned that you are 'always tapping'. What was the last thing you tapped and how many times?

I'm tapping my feet right now to a zingy salsa beat. It's that bad.

Chick chikibum, chick chickibum, chick chickibum.

What is your favorite toy as a child?

Probably my Millenium Falcon. You could take a section of the roof off and sit Luke in a seat and pretend that he's searching his feelings.

What is the first book you ever read?

Arrgg! That's a really hard one. Probably Billy Blue Hat or Robin Red something or other.

But it's probably best if we ignore those and I'll tell you what the first book I read in my adult life was, when I became a serious reader: Absolute Power by David Baldacci, which was then made into a film starring Clint Eastwood. Excellent book. Verily gripping with great plot and characterization.

What is the worst gift you ever received?

I've had this one before, but seeing as it's you...

It was a pen supposedly made by NASA, although I highly doubt it. It was an anti-gravity pen, which confused me at first until I realised that it was made so you could write upside down. Obviously I found a lot of excuses to use it

If you're not Eggyman, who would you be?

Anyone you'd like me to be.

It's pretty hard to say. Maybe Dark Passenger because of my liking of the Dexter character - he shares a similar humour to me (people who've only watched the series won't get that; it's more prevalent in the novels, which are excellent BTW).



And now I sit and wait because I've typed this bugger out and can't post it because the boards will be offline for a bit.

*taps*

...

*taps*

...

*taps some more*

...

Time drags when you're waiting to post...




Ahh, finally.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

Nice answers Eggy!!! And yea, Superman is a dick head!!

 

[Avangarde]

The chance to know everything in existance in the vastness of the universe, or the chance to own the world and everything in it?

Vision, or eternal loneliness?

Do you speak from the Head or the Heart?

Of the 7 deadly sins, which one would most likely send you to hell?

What would you prefer, Lover or a Dreamer?

 

[ih8nyy]

I know! Why buy the cow when you can have the sex for free? (name the film)

Mall Rats.

 

[Eggyman]

Nice answers Eggy!!! And yea, Superman is a dick head!!

Since when has 'dick' been allowed?

The chance to know everything in existance in the vastness of the universe, or the chance to own the world and everything in it?

I'm pretty sure that if I knew everything in the existence of the universe I would be quite capable of owning the world also. But what'd be the fun in that?

Vision, or eternal loneliness?

Are you asking me if I'd choose to be blind and not lonely or see and be eternally lonely? Obvious answer: Blind.

Do you speak from the Head or the Heart?

I've reached the age of 29 and've learned from a lot of mistakes... now my head and heart have formed a committee and I listen to them equally in turn, deciding on each seperate occasion what the best course of action may be.

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Of the 7 deadly sins, which one would most likely send you to hell?

I'm sure anyone of them is as likely to send you to hell, depending on what you do under certain circumstances. For instance, I could kill for greed or I could kill for envy, pride, and I'm sure the others within the right context could also do the same.

What would you prefer, Lover or a Dreamer?

A lover or a dreamer girlfriend? A lover, I guess... although dreamers are nice if I could call her Luna.

Mall Rats.

Well done that man

 

[chaseter]

Have you ever put your finger in front of a puppy or kitty's face and just yelled at it to make you feel better about being in charge?

Have you ever made a large maze out of Christmas presents and put said puppy or kitty in it to see if it can escape?

Have you ever dressed up your puppy or kitty and watched it feel ashamed that it had on human clothes?

Did you know they eat food in other countries!

Tacos, burritos, what's that in my speedo?

 

[Eggyman]

Have you ever put your finger in front of a puppy or kitty's face and just yelled at it to make you feel better about being in charge?

No, but I did tell my cat off once for stealing a sausage from my plate and not eating it. He was big and fat and ginger, and my ex called him Crookshanks

I counteracted the lameness of his name and turned it into something awesome... Crankypants. I was sat on the couch with a chippy, enjoying chips, sausage, curry and rice, using the coffee table to eat it off... on a plate, of course. Next moment I noticed a lil ginger paw zip up and whip my sausage of the plate, the lil ninja. he sniffed it and then strutted away... I threw the sausage after him, being slightly inebriated, and then gave him a good talking to.

Have you ever made a large maze out of Christmas presents and put said puppy or kitty in it to see if it can escape?

I have never thought to do that. My new gopal for this year is to get a kitty or a puppy and recieve enough Christmas presents to perform this feat.

Have you ever dressed up your puppy or kitty and watched it feel ashamed that it had on human clothes?

No, but once, and I'm not sure if this was before or after the sausage incident, I watched the simpsons and LOL'd when they put toilet tubes on the cats legs to make it walk like a robot with sore balls.

Yeah, I tried it. I laughed for about a month. Please, anybody reading should go right ahead and try this. Truly a spectacle to behold.

Did you know they eat food in other countries!

I'm actually quite well travelled and ate with them on several occaision.

Tacos, burritos, what's that in my speedo?

Cocktail sausage.


Sorry for all the sausage talk.

 

[Shemtov]

No, but I did tell my cat off once for stealing a sausage from my plate and not eating it. He was big and fat and ginger, and my ex called him Crookshanks

was said ex a Harry Potter fan?

 

[knowsbleed]

i geus she was a Harry Potter fan.

Your detective skills rival that of the Batman's!

 

[Eggyman]

She only liked the films because she didn't/couldn't read.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

dick dick dick dick...

Yea that is amazing that it doesn't get censored.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

Did you get a good nights sleep?

 

[Eggyman]

All this Tom Dickery is awesome!

 

[Eggyman]

Did you get a good nights sleep?

Actually I did

I was worried I wouldn't - I was feeling quite perky when I got in bed. I decided to watch Se7en with the commentary on; Freeman's dulcet tones helped me drift off.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

Ahh Morgan Freeman...living legend.

Have you noticed that thing he does in almost all his movies? You know when he says goodbye to someone he raises his hand sorta thing? Like what he does in TDK when the security guard tries to give him back his phone?