Would you rather be mildly sick for a week or really sick for 3.5 days?
Mildly sick for a week. Easy picking, I have a low immune system so I am always feeling mildly sick.
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Would you rather be famous or be bitten by a dog on the ass?
Since I could be famous for getting my **** stuck in a robotic hand, I will choose bit by a dog in the ass. I have already been bitten by a dog, but luckily it wasn't on my ass, just my face.
Would you rather be addicted to donuts or heroin?
Donuts, at least I will enjoy them without being out of my mind when I am getting my fix. So I will be a fatty-fat-fat
Would you rather: Eat Spam OR Receive a lot of Spam?
Ugh, man I am sick just thinking about that can of spam. I will take the bunch of spam in my inbox. I am good at sorting things.
Who would you rather accidentally make a culturally insensitive remark to?
* A midget
* An albino
* An albino midget
If I am saying it, it must be funny so I will choose an albino midget. If you can't laugh at yourself when you're an albino midget than I don't know what to believe.
Would you rather be a Dream Crushing Weasel or have your dreams crushed by a Dream Crushing Weasel?
Dream crushing weasel, I already do that by being married.
*POW-POW gives Badger the Gun show*
Would you rather eat fried chicken with Colonel Sanders or pancakes with Aunt Jemima?
Aww man...why do I have sit on Colonel Sanders' knee? As soon as you said I could have fried chicken with him I was sold, and then the booze was a bonus. Maybe I can pawn off knowbleed for his services.
Would you rather kill the environment or kill an environmentalist?
Hell if I kill the environment, I would be killing everybody anyway so yeah sure the environmentalist. Ed Begley had it coming to him. He touched me in naughty places.
Would you rather kill a turtle or have one of your good friends become a Scientologist?
I will kill Sam with old age then and have him hang with me because he sounds cooler than my dogs. Although one of them is pretty chill.
Would you rather be a **** or have everyone think you're a ****?
Think I am a ****. The hell would I care what other people thought of me.
Would you rather get a paper cut or eat a placenta?
You know, I would normally say I would try anything but DAMN man. I made a face when I read that, so I think that is a sign I will take the paper cut. You should make it harder and say on the eyeball, then I am at least begrudgingly accept the papercut.
Would you rather have a dozen kids or be infertile?
Well since I have two kids I guess I am on the way to 12. I got some work to do. *pulls down pants* So where are the ladies?
Would you rather dissect a human corpse or go skydiving?
Damn, you picked two things I wanted to do and then twisted them. I was going to have difficulty choosing which one I liked better.
Skydiving, quick and painless.
Would you rather milk a cow or have your nipple bitten by an animal?
I had a small farm for a short time with 3 cows, 2 horses and a pig, so the answer is rather easy. Where is that animal who is going to bite me?
Would you rather lose an eye in a fireworks accident or get mauled by an animal and end up with a Michael Jackson nose?
One eye, have you met anyone who had an eye patch who wasn't a badass? Sammy Davis Jr, Mikhael Bakunin, Nick Fury, Pirates...
Hell I spent a Summer with an eyepatch because of that dog attack I mentioned earlier so I am completely good with that. That was also the Summer I got to hang with Alice Cooper's band and roadies for an afternoon. They put Cooper's boa constrictor on my shoulders (well partly that damn thing was heavy). Never got to meet Alice Cooper though.
Would you rather eat a bowl of cereal or have a jetski?
I skip breakfast all the time plus they are just pencil shavings and dried up old fruit. I GOT ME A JETSKI!
Would you rather have a perpetual George Hamilton tan or skip the age of 33?
Skip a year, not that I would notice much anyway.
Would you rather always be hungry or always be fat?