tzarinna
Mamochka
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2006
- Messages
- 24,829
- Reaction score
- 327
- Points
- 73
As a public service, here are some important safety tips to ensure that you have a happy and safe Halloween!
1. Carry a flashlight or wear reflective tape on your clothing.
2. Always have an adult inspect all candy, fruit, or other treats before eating.
3. NEVER read aloud from the Necronomicon, not even as a joke.
4. Never enter a stranger's house while trick or treating.
5. If you kill any monsters, NEVER go back to check that it's really dead.
6. If any of your friends or children begin
speaking in Latin, other languages they should not know, or any type of inhuman or backwards voice, kill them IMMEDIATELY.
7. DO NOT search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
8. Never stand on, in, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. Dancing or having sex on them is right out of the question.
9. If any sort of maniac or killer is on the loose, avoid sex altogether.
10. If appliances begin operating by themselves, do not call the repair man. Just GET OUT!
11. Never split up to look for clues or a way out. STICK TOGETHER!
12. As a general rule, do not solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
13. If you find a town that looks deserted, there is probably a good reason. DON'T STOP!
14. Stay away from certain geographical locations, including but not limited to Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Hobbs End, or any small town in Maine.
15. If you spot a stranger carrying any unusual tools (chainsaw, axe, harpoon, cordless drill, slingblade, lawnmower, or anything made of your missing companions, etc.), do not attempt to ask them for directions. RUN!
16. When running from zombies, mummies, or any of their ilk, DO NOT underestimate their speed. Even though they appear to be only shambling along, they have ways of keeping up with you and surprising you when you least expect it.
17. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead under any circumstances.
18. If you discover your house was built on a cemetery or Indian burial ground, move IMMEDIATELY.
19. If you run out of gas on a lonely road, DO NOT go to that creepy abandoned-looking farmhouse you passed to look for a phone. Wait for On Star to send help. If you don't have On Star, kill yourself now. You'll be dead soon anyway, and probably in a much more grisly manner.
20. DO NOT play with recombinant DNA technology unless you are absolutely sure you know what you are doing.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
1. Carry a flashlight or wear reflective tape on your clothing.
2. Always have an adult inspect all candy, fruit, or other treats before eating.
3. NEVER read aloud from the Necronomicon, not even as a joke.
4. Never enter a stranger's house while trick or treating.
5. If you kill any monsters, NEVER go back to check that it's really dead.
6. If any of your friends or children begin
speaking in Latin, other languages they should not know, or any type of inhuman or backwards voice, kill them IMMEDIATELY.
7. DO NOT search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
8. Never stand on, in, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. Dancing or having sex on them is right out of the question.
9. If any sort of maniac or killer is on the loose, avoid sex altogether.
10. If appliances begin operating by themselves, do not call the repair man. Just GET OUT!
11. Never split up to look for clues or a way out. STICK TOGETHER!
12. As a general rule, do not solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
13. If you find a town that looks deserted, there is probably a good reason. DON'T STOP!
14. Stay away from certain geographical locations, including but not limited to Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Hobbs End, or any small town in Maine.
15. If you spot a stranger carrying any unusual tools (chainsaw, axe, harpoon, cordless drill, slingblade, lawnmower, or anything made of your missing companions, etc.), do not attempt to ask them for directions. RUN!
16. When running from zombies, mummies, or any of their ilk, DO NOT underestimate their speed. Even though they appear to be only shambling along, they have ways of keeping up with you and surprising you when you least expect it.
17. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead under any circumstances.
18. If you discover your house was built on a cemetery or Indian burial ground, move IMMEDIATELY.
19. If you run out of gas on a lonely road, DO NOT go to that creepy abandoned-looking farmhouse you passed to look for a phone. Wait for On Star to send help. If you don't have On Star, kill yourself now. You'll be dead soon anyway, and probably in a much more grisly manner.
20. DO NOT play with recombinant DNA technology unless you are absolutely sure you know what you are doing.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
I'll slice any car that tries to hit me in half with my katana skills. 
