Having the opening credits appear 30 minutes into a movie still works for me every time, holy sh**.
Between a title like this and showing up on Shudder, I didn't expect this movie to be as great as it was. In terms of plotting and characters, it's pretty much Ingrid Goes West meets Superhost meets Gone Girl. It's a solid thriller about influencer culture that goes into places you don't really expect with a straightforward plot like this. They were able to go deeper than the surface-level themes of how it's not just "Influencers are awful people". Even when it hits the hour mark, you almost get the feeling it is going to dip in quality but it almost completely shifts the direction and gives the movie some extra runway to explore. The movie would not work without Cassandra Naud and her incredible performance, it's one of the better horror performances of the year. I thought Emily Tennant and Rory J. Saper were also really good in here. I also thought it was shot really well for an indie horror and it's got a great tense score that goes with the film well. Overall, I loved it. It's one of those horror thrillers that you're better off not knowing much aside from the obvious title. 4/5
I'm just reimagining THE scene from Marriage Story where Snoopy shows up at the end.
Truly incredible and totally Oscar-bait at the same time. I can't think of another movie or director/actor this year who desperately wants that Oscar more than Bradley Cooper. Maestro, while on paper, is a pretty basic and straightforward biopic on Leonard Bernstein that really checks off every box that you need to get awards recognition. Despite that, I will say I thought this was still incredible filmmaking and with some great performances. It's truly going for it and throwing everything including the kitchen sink and trying to get out of the typical biopic trappings. I enjoyed the second half of the movie more where it shifts to color. It's where the film clicked for me and it's also where some of the best moments of the movie happen and it really focuses on the relationship between Bradley Cooper and Carey Mulligan who were both excellent. There's also a small yet effective Maya Hawke performance and I thought Sarah Silverman was alright. Matthew Libatique shot the hell out of the movie and it looks incredible at every scene. Overall, while I totally get the criticism for this movie, I thought it was still really well done. 4/5
And thus the DCEU ends (finally) with a cockroach burger. Very fitting.
Considering how I didn't care for the first Aquaman and thought it was James Wan's worst film, this sequel is more or less the same but I did admire the dumb Saturday morning cartoon vibe it had throughout. It's so '90s, it reminded me of Power Rangers Turbo the most for obvious reasons. It also reminded me of Thor: The Dark World with a little bit of Ragnarok. For a movie that's been reworked several times throughout the pandemic, you can tell how much they've changed whatever original plans they had. And with the Amber Heard situation, I've never seen someone written out of a movie but still show up throughout it without any real dialogue before. In fact, they pretty much gave all of Heard's presence and importance in the story to Randall Park who's practically the 3rd man in the movie. The movie is also insanely dependent on CG but with TV-level practical set designs and it, all mostly looks cheap until it doesn't with a few moments. The action and the plot are all sorts of nonsense but the only person that kept me interested was Yahya Abdul-Mateen as Black Manta whose only motivation is pure spite. The movie also just kinda ends and they also rip off Black Panther and Iron Man while doing it. It's interesting they pretty much detach any connection to the other DCEU stuff and just focus on a small Aquaman story. Overall, while I did like this a little more than the first one, it's a dumb and average superhero flick (for the 90s) that officially ends the DCEU. 2.5/5
I know this will give her some much-needed exposure, but Sofia Boutella needs to find a better agent.
A truly agonizing 2+ hours of a sci-fi epic wannabe from Zack Snyder that made me extremely bored. Take aside that this is basically a regurgitated version of Seven Samurai, Star Wars, Dune, and Excalibur, this movie feels more like a live-action Netflix adaptation of a generic video game from the 00s. The script and dialogue are nothing but character bios, speechified motivations, and lazy and predictable showpieces and that obviously has to do because it's part one of two. I will say the only positive thing I have to say about this movie is the first 30 minutes Snyder was able to show some constraints and have a real scene with the Corey Stoll section of the movie without getting lost in the sauce with his slow-mo. The most egregious part of this movie is the visuals which is what Snyder is usually known for. It's got an ugly color scheme, it's shot very pedestrian aside from the slow-mo, it's got very basic action scenes, and the CGI was as bad and rushed as The Flash and Quantumania. They also cut this down to a PG-13 rating and you see it with all the weird cuts that avoid any real blood and violence which is so weird considering Netflix let their directors do their thing. As much as I was enjoying Sofia Boutella, they didn't know what to do with her character despite building up her lore. Overall, I was so bored out of my mind watching this. I was willing to give Snyder a chance, and on paper having him create an "original" sci-fi epic was interesting to see, but clearly, this ain't it. 1.5/5
Mixing plain M&M's and Skittles into a popcorn bowl is some truly diabolical behavior.
Wasn't good. It's so obvious that they were trying to take a straightforward pharmaceutical drama and try to be The Wolf of Wall Street, Hustlers, and The Big Short but it ended up falling short on all levels. The biggest thing that didn't work for me was Chris Evans and Emily Blunt who were really miscast and feel like they're in a different movie than the rest of the cast. They were not bad performance-wise, but I never bought them as normal people in this side of the world even though I thought Emily Blunt looked incredible in those outfits. The narrative and framing device also don't work and while it shows the dark side of the pharmaceutical racket, it doesn't give you enough to chew on. Overall, it's pretty forgettable. 2/5
I'm just gonna assume Willem Dafoe does that burping bubbles thing in real life.
Unbelievably horny, funny, and strange erotic dark comedy just as I expected from Yorgos. This movie's plot is pretty much part Frankenstein, part Island of Lost Souls, part Barbie, and part Pinocchio with a sheen of silliness that works. The visuals are unreal and beautifully rendered. I loved how they took a Victorian-era costume drama and threw in dreamlike surrealism with some steampunk. It's just unlike anything you've seen on screen and the direction they took the visuals is so well done. At its heart, it's a movie about a blank canvas discovering and developing ideas of what the complex world brings to her and what it means to be human. Emma Stone was perfect for this role and it's one of her best performances. The rest of the cast was also fantastic in this notably Mark Ruffalo who does something here he's never done before. I also really enjoyed seeing Willem Dafoe as this movie's Dr. Frankenstein and Ramy Youssef as this movie's Igor/Fritz (who is also just playing himself from his show with an English accent and a medical degree). There are also some good moments with Christopher Abbott, Margaret Qualley, and Jerrod Carmichael. Overall, it's one of the best and funniest movies of the year with an incredible style and vision from Yorgos Lanthimos. 4.5/5
Shout out to everyone thinking this was gonna be a fun family time at the movies this Christmas.
Incredibly well done. The director Sean Durkin did a fantastic job telling the story of the Von Erich wrestling family and its legacy and curse. As a wrestling fan, it was also smart of them to put the center of the movie around Kevin Von Erich and how each devastating moment took a piece of him. It almost feels like watching a Greek tragedy from how the film was structured especially how smartly they used the wrestling promos and mic moments as a bard device. Even knowing what happens to the family, it still was an effective and emotional movie even though they changed a few things, mainly cutting out Chris Von Erich from the story... which I get why they did it. It's one of those biopics that does a pretty straightforward job of telling the story but what stood out is the story itself and the performances that drove it. Zac Efron was truly phenomenal in this and he had to carry so much weight (figuratively and literally) even when the focus wasn't on him. I also really liked Holt McCallany who plays Fritz Von Erich and I thought it was smart they didn't paint him as a simple antagonist. Jeremy Allen White as Kerry Von Erich was also great but I thought the biggest surprise to me was Harris Dickinson who played David Von Erich so well and Stanley Simons who plays Mike Von Erich. Lily James and Maura Tierney, while don't get a lot of screen time, did well with what they were given. The wrestling itself was actually well done and accurate to the times of the wrestling promotions in the late '70s/early '80s and it was fun spotting all the wrestlers they featured and mentioned. I also really dug the soundtrack. Overall, one of my favorite movies of the year. While it's got traditional biopic trappings, it's truly a great and heartbreaking movie about a wrestling family that went through so much and what it means to be a brother. And it makes for a great companion piece with The Wrestler. 4.5/5
I always had this on my to-see list and I thought it was pretty good. For Shane Black's directional debut, it was pretty much what I expected it to be. It's a crime noir set in Christmas time with a lot of snarky dialogue, comedy, and fourth wall breaking. With how it's structured and the themes of it all, it's definitely going for the old-school crime noirs of the '60s and '70s, but I thought of two things while watching this and it was Catch Me If You Can and the show Barry which I'm sure Bill Hader took a lot of influences from this. I thought the meta narration worked and that's solely because of Robert Downey Jr. who's excellent in this. You see how this was the first real movie that got him back on the saddle in Hollywood. Val Kilmer was also so great here and he's got some of the best scenes in the movie. But I also feel like the main takeaway from this movie is Michelle Monaghan's incredibly charismatic performance, especially considering it's one of her earliest roles. Her chemistry with Robert Downey Jr. felt genuine and I thought she reminded me of Emma Stone a bit in this role. I gotta say I missed this era of movies when they were shot on film with great lighting and saturated color grading. That being said, I will say some parts didn't age well, some of the script felt too overworked, and I thought Shane Black did a better job at this kind of movie with The Nice Guys. Overall, I thought it was an enjoyable Christmas-themed crime noir. 3.5/5
If you don't put a Lil Jon needle drop in your Christmas movie, is it really Christmas?
This was so incredibly cute and charming. Much like The Lego Batman movie, it's always refreshing to see someone put a new spin on Batman and remind everyone it is also for kids. This was pretty much Home Alone meets Christmas with the Joker. As much as I don't really care for the Regular Show/Adventure Time era and style of animation, this was really well done and it's so much better than a lot of the recent DC animated projects. You can tell the director Mike Roth had more of a budget to work with. I really dug the voice cast from everyone and I thought Luke Wilson as Batman and especially Yonas Kibreab as Damian Wayne was so effective. This is probably the first time I actually liked Damien as a character even though he's not really playing the typical brooding and emo Damien. Overall, I loved this not just as a Batman Christmas special but as a DC film. Hopefully, Mike Roth can continue making more DC projects. And it's kinda crazy that the best DC film this year is a little animated Batman Christmas movie and it's not even from Warner Bros. 4/5
I think we should all be supportive of Nic Cage and tell him he should keep the shaved-head look because it is working.
A solid western set in the late 1800s American Old West that made me wanna replay Red Dead Redemption 2 all over again. Gabe Polsky did such a great job capturing and exploring the buffalo hide trade and using a Moby-Dick type structure was really well done. It's also shot beautifully and I liked how it became more stylish the more the characters become unhinged and descend into madness. I thought the practical effects of the field dressing of the buffalo were so incredibly well done and it looked so real. Nic Cage and Fred Hechinger were great here and their dynamic was interesting enough to carry the movie. I will say there are about 20 minutes in this that they could have done more and explored more of life in the West and I think this could have benefited from having a Native American character considering how they alluded to it at the start of the movie. Overall, I enjoyed it. It's definitely a movie that had the right idea and showed why the buffalo almost went extinct through greed and exploitation. 3.5/5
This dude clearly doesn't know his sh** about movies because how on earth does Blacula not belong in both the vampire and blaxploitation category?
I really dug it despite how I feel about the ending. Much like Promising Young Women, it's a psychological thriller/relationship drama that will have people divided but I thought this movie did a better job at its premise. It's essentially about a girl who is so desperate looking for love that she avoids many red flags and ends up with the wrong guy who's way into Star Wars and has to deal with miscommunication. It's not as subtle as it wants to be but I did like the many stylistic approaches to her being appropriately paranoid and the text messaging that runs through the film. What made the movie really work for me was Emilia Jones's performance who carries this film along with Geraldine Viswanathan who still has yet to deliver a bad performance. Nicholas Braun does a good job playing the lonely guy who's also as desperate as Emilia Jones's character but obviously goes a step too far. I think the movie works almost entirely until the very end when they kind of give a safe resolution and the bite the movie had from the start just magically goes away. It's the only thing keeping me away from giving it a higher rating. Overall, I thought it was really good and despite how people feel about this one way or another, it was definitely interesting to watch about the difficulty of modern dating, and it's well-made on a filmmaking level. 3.5/5
Sam from Trick ‘r Treat finally grew into his petulant teenage era.
I really dug this. It's part Battle Royale, part The Purge, part Pumpkinhead, and part The Outsiders done as a David Slade Halloween movie. It's got a wild concept for a Halloween-themed movie and I did like how they used small-town traditions and turned it on its head. It's shot incredibly well and I absolutely love how they kept the Harvest Moon aesthetic and having almost every shot of the movie through that one beam of light was cool to see. And because it's a David Slade movie, the gore was on point and I thought the character designs were well done, especially with Sawtooth Jack. The performances were fine even though nobody really stood out. I will say I thought while the drama was interesting to see, I think the movie could have been a little shorter. Overall, it's a solid Halloween movie that I can definitely see a cult following every October. 3.5/5
Interesting concept that feels like it came from Black Mirror but I don't think it was as complex as they wanted it to be. Still, this sci-fi pregnancy drama was pretty good and that's all because of Emilia Clarke and Chiwetel Ejiofor who elevated the material. I especially love Chiwetel Ejiofor's baffled reaction to everything when he was dealing with that egg and the process of artificial wombs and corporate bureaucracy. It struck a nice balance between his character and Emila Clarks's character who desperately wants it even though she was pressured into it. I thought the production design and the sets were really interesting and futuristic but I did think it was a bit obvious at times with the whole AI aspect. I feel like the themes were explored enough and some aspects weren't fleshed out as well as I hoped but I did like how it all resolved even though it felt too nice and neat. Overall, pretty good. 3/5
The shot of the baby Antichrist giving the "yeah b**ch I wish you would." look to the guy on the train was hilarious. full stop.
For a religious horror film that deals with the end of the world, this was kinda odd. It feels overly done but at the same time, it doesn't really have anything to say. It wants to be profound but it ends up being horny more than anything. Aside from Alexander Siddig, I didn't really care for the main three cast members or their performances so much and I feel like they all were hired by the same talent agency for ad models who can do nude. Also, the scares were so cheap and they overused the nightmare scenes to death. What I did like is the cinematography and the pretty effective gore effects. Overall, while I dug the concept, this movie ran out of juice halfway in. 2/5
Me trying to cash a $20 check at the bank 15 years ago.
This was pretty good but not as great as I hoped it would be for Michael Mann's return to cinema. It's more or less a straightforward biopic that deals with Enzo Ferrari in the late 50s trying to balance his multiple love lives with his company that's about to hit bankruptcy. Obviously like with most Mann movies, he does a good job getting into the relationship melodrama and here I thought the movie works well when it's about Adam Driver, Penélope Cruz, and Shailene Woodley. The movie is actually more comedic than it appears on the surface which was a nice surprise. I will say I thought it when it was about the cars and the race, I thought it was alright for the first two-thirds but it wasn't until the big horrific moment in the 3rd act that it really gets the plot going. I kinda wish they had more of that in the movie but it is what it is. While you do see some of the Micahel Mann tropes, I wanted more in terms of stylistic choices. Overall, I really dug it as a biopic, but as a Mann fan, I wished I loved it more. 3.5/5
A lot better than I expected it to be for a musical adaptation of the novel/film. Fantasia was great and handled her own, especially during the tough emotional scenes as well as her singing. I thought Colman Domingo did a better job doing the Danny Glover role and honestly Danielle Brooks did a better job than Oprah... I can see why she's being praised a lot. While they cut out a lot of the smaller scenes to fit in the musical dance numbers, you kinda don't feel it. Blitz Bazawule did a good job bringing in the stage musical performance and making you not feel bored while watching it. Overall, while I don't think it's better than the Spielberg film, this fits more as an accessible version of the story that makes you feel like you're on Broadway watching a musical. 3.5/5
Casting two extremely Irish actors and making them do generic American accents was definitely a choice.
This was pretty disappointing despite the interesting premise. It's one of those futuristic sci-fi films where they don't really have a budget so they write around it to make it look like it's almost set in the past. This was essentially more or less a marriage drama that wanted to be Terrance Malik but also be about the performances of Saoirse Ronan and Paul Mescal. It is shot really well and I think most of what I did like about it are the backdrops and the cinematography. I also feel like the Beyond the Sea episode of Black Mirror did this kind of movie so much better and explored more in the characters. I also find it disappointing because I kinda got the 3rd act surprise early on and so for the rest of the movie it kinda meandered a lot. Overall, pretty boring despite some good things about it. It's a shame this wasn't better considering the talent behind this. 2/5
Surprisingly not bad for a prequel to Paco Plaza's Veronica. It's better than a lot of Hollywood Nun-related horror films and that mostly has to do with Aria Bedmar's performance as Narcisa who is really giving it her all. It operates more on a slow-burn drama than a supernatural horror until it hits the 3rd act and then they do some really interesting horror moments. While I don't think it's doing anything new, I did like how it got better as it went along and the obvious Suspiria inspirations and the creative imagery really worked for me. Overall, while I think Veronica was better it's pretty solid stuff. 3/5
I can't decide who left a bigger trail of destruction in 2023, Godzilla or Tomas.
This was better than I expected for a French relationship drama but also kinda falls short in a few areas. It was interesting to see the movie focus on a person who's so reckless and careless in dealing his with love life that in almost every scene he pops up you wonder how he's gonna f*** it up. Pretty good performances by Franz Rogowski, Adèle Exarchopoulos, and Ben Whishaw. I thought the dinner table scene with the parents was so incredibly well done but I wish it stayed on it longer. There are plenty of interesting moments and interactions in this that went by too quickly for me. Overall, a solid indie drama that could have dug in deeper with its characters. 3/5
Of all the movies based on consumer products in 2023 (games, phones, shoes, etc.), this is probably the most earnest one. This was a perfect intersection of biopic and documentary that is self-aware of the tropes that come with it. Dennis Boutsikaris is so effortlessly good in this as the older version of Roger Sharpe who helped lift the ban on pinball machines in public spaces in NY. Mike Faist plays the younger version and I thought he was just as good while also getting some genuine moments throughout the movie. For most of the film, it's actually a sneaky romcom inside of the biopic and I thought Crystal Reed was so excellent and their chemistry was one of the better ones I've seen in a while. All the conflict in the movie felt more real than in most biopics and I like how they comment on how biopics twist certain facts to get sensationalism out of the story. Overall, while I much prefer BlackBerry and maybe Tetris over this, I still think this was really worth checking out if you want something endearing to watch. 4/5
Enjoyable but could have been so much better as a miniseries with some better writing in some parts. While it tries to paint itself as a quirky comedy about an Iranian family in NYC, it is actually more of a mother-daughter relationship drama that focuses on a lot of generational trauma. I feel like the first 3rd of the movie felt so off-putting and it relies too much on self-narration that it wants to appeal to a broad Western audience who doesn't know anything about Iranian Americans so it gives you some infodumping. I thought Layla Mohammadi was decent enough in this who on paper carries the movie but I did think her narration and the stylistic choices were too much at times. For me, the movie really starts when it goes into the mother's story played really well by Niousha Noor, and then goes even further back which was the main course of the film. I also admire their commitment to the multiple time periods and the attention to detail on a production level for a small indie film was impressive. That being said I thought the rest of the family felt kinda underdeveloped and rushed. Overall, I really enjoyed it but I wished it was better. 3.5/5
So excruciatingly bland and generic for a sports biopic which still attracts George Clooney wanting to direct it for some reason. It tells the story of the US rowing team that went to the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany and it pretty much does that and not much else. From start to finish, the movie plays like a Wikipedia article come to life without any nuances and personality other than maybe Callum Turner as Joe Rantz. Joel Edgerton was pretty much sleepwalking in this who plays the coach and he doesn't do anything different that hasn't been done before. Between the dialogue and the performances along with the cinematography, the movie almost feels like you're watching a super long Coca-Cola commercial. The movie mostly spends on getting the team together and you don't get to the meaty part of the story where they're in Geremy until the very end and even then that part almost feels laughable. If I have any positives, I will say I did enjoy the directing, the production level, and the cinematography, but it's not saying much. Overall, it's so forgettable and generic. It's crazy to think that 10+ years ago a movie like this would have probably gotten some awards recognition for just being broad enough and checking all the cliche Oscar-bait boxes. 1.5/5
I would have chosen a 4th ending where Monk manifests Keith David again and gets him to redo the fight scene from They Live.
Phenomenal film. It's a solid satirical look inside black stereotypes in fiction that also explores something more. I thought Cord Jefferson did a smart job of not relying on just the satire but also including the family melodrama which is actually the heart of the movie and the driving force behind Jeffrey Wright's character. Another reason why this movie works is it's hysterically well done with the comedy. It's also great to see Jeffrey Wright in a real main role again where he gets to carry the film and I thought a lot of the comedy works because of him and his reactions to different situations. The supporting cast was also fantastic and between Tracee Ellis Ross, Issa Rae, Sterling K. Brown, and John Ortiz they all brought their A-game. I also really liked Erika Alexander and Myra Lucretia Taylor. While I think the movie excels with the family stuff, I think they could have dug in deeper with the satire section of the movie if the movie was a little bit longer. Overall, it's a great film where I'm glad to see Jeffrey Wright get some awards recognition, he deserves it. 4/5
They could have done better with the title, The Amityvillepool Horror was right there.
Pretty substandard for Blumhouse despite a few things I dug early on. It's one of those that really pushes every aspect of its hook so they pretty much do every single activity that one does if they own a pool even down to the annoying part that they love to bring up on every occasion they own a pool. Like I said, I thought the first hour of the movie was actually not bad, but you're more invested with the family that moved in than the horror set pieces. I really liked Wyatt Russell and Kerry Condon in this and despite how it ends they knew what kind of movie this is. Where the movie falls apart is when they really go into the horror aspect with the haunted pool. The movie wished it was as good as The Tale of the Dead Man's Float episode from Are You Afraid of the Dark where they did this so much better. The movie also borrows a little bit from The Shining, Poltergeist, and even Smile from a couple of years ago. Overall, it's yet another dud from Blumhouse. 2/5
1. If there was a drinking game for every time they say Bee and or Beekeeper in this bullsh** you'd be dead within the first act.
2. Whether or not this was a parody, I feel like this movie is the end result that led us to this age of brain-dead action movies that started with John Wick.
3. I'm sorry Clair Huxtable, that was on you for falling for a lazy phishing scam.
Absolutely atrocious outside of a single good hand-to-hand fight scene towards the end. I don't know if David Ayer was trying to go for a John Wick parody but this really fell flat even when the action goes over the top. Jason Statham is still playing himself only he knows how to collect honey this time. A lot of this almost feels like this was a live-action Saints Row movie only it's not as fun to watch. The movie does a lot of repetition of the same scenes where the FBI unconvincingly follows his trail after he's taken out a group of people in various locations. Whatever plot and scheme this movie has is predictable and also lame. Josh Hutcherson is overdoing it trying to be the Alfie Allen character in John Wick. Emmy Raver-Lampman can't really act and you don't even buy that she's sad about her mother dying. And last but not least Jeremy Irons continues to be attracted to trash cinema. I honestly can't even enjoy this ironically or cringe at it in an enjoyable way... which is apparently how some people are seeing it. It's definitely How Did This Get Made material. Overall, it's true trash cinema that belongs in a Wal-Mart bin. 1/5
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