At the Movies with Kane and BN

[Kane52630]

Thelma

Thelma would have never needed Jason Statham's Beekeeper because she would have done that sh** herself.

A fun little indie dramedy that centers around June Squibb's character who's trying to get back her money after losing it to a phone scammer. It does a good job of showing the anxieties of being alone when you've become too old and elderly and not trying to be a burden to everyone else. They even acknowledge it but this becomes a funnier Mission Impossible movie where she does try to trace down the people who did that to her with all the technology that gets in her way. The cast was pretty decent and June Squibb really does carry the movie. I also really liked Richard Roundtree in this and seeing how it was his final role before he passed, it felt like it ended on a good note. There are a couple of great set pieces that elevate it even more than your usual indie dramedy especially the one towards the end. Overall, I had fun with it and it's exactly the kind of indie film you need that just makes you feel good at the end.
3.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Trap

I need the guy playing Jamie to tell me the plot of every horror movie I watch from now on.

A dumb fun summer thriller with some excellent cinematography and music. While I think the trailers made it out to be something more sophisticated with a twist we don't see coming, this is more or less a straightforward bottle thriller with some crazy directions towards the end. The movie is also intentionally a comedy at times(?), a lot of the moments are played out for sitcom laughs more than being in a serious/scary situation. Josh Hartnett was amazing though from start to finish, he truly understood the assignment of being a campy serial killer. The "fictional" music is actually well done which is something you don't see often, and while I get the whole nepobaby situation with Saleka Shyamalan, her pop/R&B music is still great and actually believable in the story of being stuck in a concert for 2 hours. They also give her a big acting role in the later half of the movie which for a nonactor, I thought she was not bad. The movie does go off the rails in the last 3rd of the movie but the comedy still stuck around which helped a lot, it really does remind me of the movie Red Eye in the sense of going completely off the rails in a Hitchcockian thriller. Overall, it's M Night trying something slightly different but still being completely himself and his odd ticks as a director. I ultimately had a lot of fun with it with a lot of laughs and it's a shame that it wasn't the movie that we all hoped it would be.
3.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Babes

That Marty Scorsese picture looks exactly like the same one Larry David was in.

A fun dramedy that centers around friendship, pregnancy, and parenthood. It's directed by Pamela Adlon so it more or less feels like an extended episode of Broad City or Better Things with Ilana Glazer and more importantly Michelle Buteau who finally gets her due in the main spotlight. There are definitely some moments that do remind me of movies like Bridesmaids, Private Life, and even something recently like with Am I Okay? They also do a good balancing of the funny bits and ridiculous outlandish moments with the light-hearted drama moments while having it wrapped up in some feel-good charm. Overall, a fun movie to check out if you're a fan of the New York improv comedian scene doing more dramatic stuff.
3.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

We Grown Now

Without fail someone would always bring up Horace Grant during a MJ vs Pippen debate.

This was an incredibly well-made and quietly emotionally charged coming-of-age drama that is set in the Cabrini-Green housing complex in Chicago in the early '90s. The director Minhal Baig, who directed Hala ( a film that I wholely admire but didn't love), managed to craft an incredibly powerful and poetic film about two friends who try to navigate life and family under tough circumstances. The two kids, Blake Cameron James and Gian Knight Ramirez who play Malik and Eric are phenomenal in this especially when it gets to the 3rd act. There's also a fantastic Jurnee Smollett & Lil Rel Howery performance in this as well. The movie does remind me of other films like this like The Flordia Project, A Thousand and One, Moonlight, Monster, and weirdly enough Hit The Road which to me shares the level of dream-like sentimentality, craftsmanship, and direction as this film. Pat Scola might be one of the best under-the-radar cinematographers working today and what he did with this film elevates it even more. I also love how accurately they were able to get the costumes and the sets to make it look exactly how it was in the early '90s. Overall I loved it and I couldn't recommend this movie enough. I can't wait to see what Minhal Baig does next.
4.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

The Garfield Movie

If there's one thing I hate more than Mondays... it's a crappy copy-and-paste formula animated movie.

Pretty awful for more than one reason. This feels like Sony Pictures was already making a store-brand animated cat movie until they got the rights to Garfield and added a few things in the beginning to get fans. The rest of this movie is not at all a Garfield movie, it's a substandard animated movie about farm animals that get into a Mission Impossible-style heist mission that just so happens to have Garfield and co. tagging along. Chris Pratt as Garfield is completely miscast as expected and they don't even attempt to make him resemble the character at all. There are also a ton of side characters that feel like they are in their own movie doing Looney Tunes antics. Samuel L. Jackson as Vic was kinda funny as Garfield's deadbeat dad until they softened his character. It's one thing having a Garfield movie not be actually about Garfield, but the movie they did instead was not even close to being interesting even the Ving Rhames side plot of it all. I even thought the animation was kinda cheap at times for 2024 and they don't really do anything out of the ordinary to keep you interested. Overall, it's utterly forgettable which somehow makes the live-action films look more prestigious in comparison.
1.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Poolman

I feel like Chris Pine was viving for the most washed LA Bohemian bro and that off-brand discman from 20 years ago had the right touch.

A mostly complete bore of a neo-noir that is obviously trying to copy stuff like Chinatown, Inherent Vice, and The Big Lebowski. It also reminds me of Under The Silver Lake but it's not nearly as weird and off-kilter as Chris Pine wants it to be. I honestly didn't really care for the mystery or the character stuff from Chris Pine, it just felt like it was taking space for something more interesting that never came. Even the jokes and references to other movies and LA stuff didn't really land with me. I will say I thought the only person who was fun to watch in this was Danny Devito who was great even though he doesn't get a lot of screen time. I will also say it did look nice and it was shot pretty interesting enough but not enough for the story to be interesting. Overall, it's an interesting swing and a miss for me.
2/5

 

[Kane52630]

The Instigators

Doug Liman: "How much of Boston do you want this movie to have?"
Matt Damon & Casey Affleck: "Yes."

A super fun and thrilling heist comedy that takes every bit of cliche that's ever been made about city crime thrillers from the '80s/90s/00s and amps it up to an 11. It's so incredibly tough in cheek from the moment Michael Stuhlbarg's character shows up and hamming it the entire time. It's got a real buddy cop structure to it even though they're criminals, it definitely reminds me of Tango & Cash more than anything. There's also a little bit throughout the movie that also reminded me of Copshop and Good Time. I dug the chemistry between Matt Damon & Casey Affleck and their banter was well done. It's got a stacked cast of character actors that were great with what they were given between Alfred Molina, Ron Perlman, Michael Stuhlbarg, Hong Chau, Paul Walter Hauser, Ving Rhames, Toby Jones, and they even made Jack Harlow a somewhat competent actor. Many people probably won't like Doug Liman's direction and how he creates action, especially after Road House but I really dug how the chases look and some moments were impressive even though you might spot some obvious CGI. Besides the CGI, I will say while the pacing overall was great, I thought some parts during the middle felt a little too slow. Overall, this could have easily been another mediocre streaming movie that is completely lifeless but I'm so glad it's not. It's yet another dumb fun action movie during the summer and it's a shame this wasn't in theaters.
3.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Cuckoo

I'm gonna need Cuckoo, Longlegs, Barbarian, Jack Delroy, and the Smile Entity to join forces, Dan Stevens can be their Nick Fury.

A very off-kilter horror movie I wasn't expecting where it would end up. Feels very Giallo but also has a very traditional creature feature feel... but also has a tinge of Bond-style camp action and comedy. They do a good job with the mystery and keeping you in the dark about what is actually happening in this Alps resort while strange things keep happening that aren't cheap jump scares. Hunter Schafer was pretty great and what she was able to do toward the end was impressive. Also Dan Stevens, without spoiling it, continues to do no wrong and here he chews up all the scenery once again. Jessica Henwick was not bad but they didn't give her a lot to do. What they were able to do with sound and editing was so interesting and how that ties in with the plot was fascinating to watch. Overall, while it's got some minor issues, I thought it was an interesting little horror film that has European written all over it.
3.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Borderlands

You know this movie is bad when Kevin Hart was funnier than Jack Black and Kevin Hart was playing this role straight.

A true bungled mess of a movie that only can make sense to a 13-year-old gamer's mind who only plays this game and Fortnite exclusively. It's so incoherent I gave up trying to understand the world and the plot which is at first fairly simple to understand. Between plot and characters, this is pretty much taking from stuff like The Suicide Squad, Guardians of the Galaxy, Escape from NY, and Fallout but clearly, the script was nonexistent and the dialogue is atrocious.

Cate Blanchett was oddly trying to not phone it in like the rest and her stuff is the only character work the movie decides it wants to focus on. Also, it's the best she's ever looked. Kevin Hart was pretty much non-existent aside from a couple of moments, Ariana Greenblatt, who does deliver on having a personality, got pretty annoying pretty fast, and most of all Jack Black as that tin can was so unfunny and annoying that it would ruin any scene he would pop into. It also has yet another wasted Edgar Ramirez villain role who should probably fire his agent, Gina Gershon who was also wasted in this, and Jamie Lee Curtis was looking confused the entire time. It should also tell you what kind of movie this is when they got Bobby Lee in a cameo role.

They also have a bizarre soundtrack and the moment they started playing Ace of Spades I was hoping Tony Hawk would show up. If I do have anything positive to say, it's that I did enjoy the production design and the setting of the movie even though the CGI comes in and ruins it. Overall, possibly one of the worst movies of the year, video game brainrot and all.
1/5

 

[Kane52630]

Arthur the King

Mark Wahlberg: "Woah, you feel that? Air! Breeze!"
My stupid ass: "Ah, The Happening callback, nice."

A somewhat average to maybe decent sports movie that also happens to be a dog movie. It's like the marriage of two overused and rundown movie cliches that haven't really been done on this level since Air Bud. I will say I thought they did an okay job being just a sports movie for the majority of the time even though at times it feels like you're watching a NatGeo doc or The Amazing Race. Most of the characters are pretty basic and kinda do what you expect them to do with mostly generic dialogue like Mark Wahlberg, Simu Liu, and Nathalie Emmanuel. It's also shot pretty decent enough and they do a good job getting you into the major race pretty quickly. For the majority of the movie, they were pretty good at resisting all the sappy and emotionally manipulating dog movie cliches and I was really going to give this maybe a higher rating until it all started crashing down in the last 25 minutes. They really made you think the movie was over and then it was one dog cliche after another, they even do a scene that is almost shot for shot with Sam and Frodo at the end of Fellowship of the Ring. They spend so much back and forth with a very short amount of time on whether or not this dog can be saved. Overall, it was pretty basic and so predictable even knowing it's based on a true story.
2/5

 

[Kane52630]

Spaceman

I think the filmmakers hit the randomizer button and it came out with "Giant Space Spider Paul Dano".

A somewhat decent space drama that is more or less watching couples therapy on screen. It is very meditative to the point where it started losing me a bit. Adam Sandler and Carey Mulligan were pretty good performance-wise but I didn't think it was enough and having Paul Dano voice a giant space spider was interesting at first but that appeal lost a bit of its edge by the end you get to the ending. The themes that center around depression, existential dread, and marriage are what the movie is entirely centered on in a meditative/dreamlike state even though you have Adam Sandler playing an astronaut... and for over 90 minutes it does take a toll on the attention span. I will say I thought it was a very interesting idea to make the setting this bizarre retro-futurism that almost feels like you're watching the show Loki. Overall, I enjoyed it in parts but I wish it was better.
2.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Fly Me To The Moon

Absolutely shocked to see the end credits revealing Stanley Kubrick was the black cat the entire time.

A decently made historical drama about the Apollo 11 mission and its marketing team done as a TV screwball comedy. Writing-wise, it weirdly feels like someone mashed Mad Men with I Love Lucy and the only thing missing was a laugh track. Because it's got Greg Berlanti directing it's got typical TV writing, but because it's by Apple they were given a much higher budget than your average historical drama/biopic and it shows on screen. It's got super impressive sets and costumes that all feel pretty pristine and accurate. Scarlett Johansson and Channing Tatum were charming together and kept the movie going, it's nothing groundbreaking or interesting but they held their own. Who I really loved in this was Ray Romano even though he's only got 10 minutes of screen time. There are a lot of other supporting cast members who did fine and the tv-ness of it all really comes through with the side characters like Jim Rash and Woody Harrelson. Overall, had a fun time with it even though it feels like this is made to be shown throughout every middle school imaginable.
3/5

 

[Kane52630]

Jackpot!

ngl I would watch the hell out of a TMNT movie with John Cena.

Somewhere between mediocre and just fine. It's basically The Purge, The Running Man, and Idiocracy rolled into one but the script and filmmaking by Paul Feig were subpar. I thought they did a good job setting up the high concept premise of this Lottery Day where anyone can take out the lotto winner without guns and receive the money themselves. I also dug at first the Hollywood satire of phony people and phony actors trying to make a living, but the movie kinda sped through all of that to get into the main cat-and-mouse chase that takes up most of the movie. Awkwafina was not bad but she was definitely going through the motions of doing her comedy, I thought she was much better in Quiz Lady. John Cena continues to be the most hard-working actor today who will receive sh** material and try to make gold out of it and give it his 100%. I thought the karate school set piece in the movie was probably my favorite and it's the first scene Cena is in. There are also a lot of cameos and supporting cast that were okay like Simu Liu and Machine Gun Kelly. Overall, it's a direct-to-video quality movie that has a great concept that gets muddled and repetitive as it goes along.
2.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Dìdi

The movie showing a facebook status that just said "Dark Knight round 6 with the homies" perfectly encapsulated July & August of 2008 for me.

A truly fantastic coming-of-age dramedy that manages to expertly tell what it was like as an unpopular ansty suburban teenager who grew up in an immigrant household during a time when kids and teens were transitioning into the social media age with youtube, myspace, and facebook. The director Sean Wang, did a fantastic job being able to recreate moments, looks, and attitudes about what it was like living in the late 00s as a teen and all the different ways we used to communicate and act as teens that have become so outdated today. It very much reminds me of Bo Burnham's Eight Grade and even Jonah Hill's Mid90s but with the additive Chinese-American experience that makes it mean a little more.

Fantastic performances by Izaac Wang, Joan Chen, Chang Li Hua, and Shirley Chen who do feel like a real first-gen/immigrant family that are really relatable and they do a good job adding in a lot of the smaller details. I also really like the cast for the other kids and teens they got in this and how each one has a very specific personality that feels authentic to the time period. The movie also doesn't shy away from a lot of the painfully regrettable and cringe-worthy moments you had as a teen and some very specific moments that only make sense if you grew up in that time like selecting what 8 friends you put in your top 8 on myspace or blocking someone on AIM and what drama that could transpire. Overall, it's easily one of my favorite movies of the year and it's easily one that most people should check out.
4.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Alien: Romulus

I lowkey was hoping they would keep the Alien siren sound when Isabela Merced scream-queen'd her lungs out in that scene just like in the last trailer.

An absolute thrill ride from start to finish with some questionable moments thrown in with other typical moments that seem to fill a need that doesn't really warrant it. It's essentially Fede Averaz retreading the same kind of waters when he made Don't Breathe and even his Evil Dead film where you do follow a group of YA's trying to get out of a sh***y situation and they do a good job showing what their life is like under this mining colony where there is no escape. He also does a great job keeping the tech and production design to the original setting where it is still what the people in the 70s/80s thought the future would look like. Cailee Spaeny and David Jonsson were the standouts to me and obviously a good reason why they were basically the main plot engine. I will say though I thought it was almost distracting at times seeing Cailee Spaeny in this who looks so identical to Ellie from specifically The Last of Us Part 2 even to the point of sharing scenes with Isabela Merced who will play Dina in the show. As far as the rest of the cast I thought it was predictable to see where they were headed.

While the movie does a brilliant job creating and building its own story and its own characters for the first half of the film with a swift pace, the movie does remind you that it is very much an Alien movie and all of its mythos and iconography would come into play by the time they get into that ghostship. Being that it's set between Alien 79 and Aliens 86 it does bring in certain expectations of what is the bridge between the two movies and to me, it both worked and didn't work at the same time. I feel like certain things they brought into this movie overstayed their welcome even though it does make sense why Fede brought that story component in. And on top of that it raises some filmmaking concerns as well which is a whole other story. There were some incredible set pieces and action that felt like a meld between the horrors of the first film and the action-packed nature of the second film. By the time you get to the second half of the movie, it is unfortunately filled with fanservice and continuity placement that may look like fanservice. There were parts of that fanservice that didn't bother me as much as some other moments that went out of their way to say a line or do a thing that they directly referenced from all the previous Alien films... even the worst of them like Resurrection and Requiem. Aside from all of that, what they introduce in the 3rd act is gonna be controversial, but I thought it worked and was pretty effective on the horror part of it all. It almost made me wanna rewatch a certain segment from a certain VHS movie. Overall, I still really enjoyed it by the end. I thought the positives outweighed my criticisms of the movie. It's not going to beat the first two films but it is maybe in contention for the best 3rd in the franchise.
4/5

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

Kane.... 4 out of 5? Deadass?



Suspending your film critic license until further notice.

 

[Kane52630]

It was between a 3.5 and a 4 and I chose 4 because I like fun. Fun is what is missing from people today.

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

It was between a 3.5 and a 4 and I chose 4 because I like fun. Fun is what is missing from people today.

Now that part I agree, but literally, you, me and some of our friends could’ve made a fanfilm out of that fanfilm ass script.

 

[Drizzle]

Now that part I agree, but literally, you, me and some of our friends could’ve made a fanfilm out of that fanfilm ass script.

Script, schmipt. Who needs a script when you're floating around in zero-g trying to avoid acid blood?

 

[Kane52630]

Now that part I agree, but literally, you, me and some of our friends could’ve made a fanfilm out of that fanfilm ass script.

The fanservice part? sure but the first of the movie was legit great.

And that thing at the end? it was shocking and horrific in a good way.

It was like these two made a f**ked up baby.

Spoiler

 

[Drizzle]

The fanservice part? sure but the first of the movie was legit great.

And that thing at the end? it was shocking and horrific in a good way.

It was like these two made a f**ked up baby.

Spoiler

Spoiler

I read on the Alien Reddit page that there were supposedly some shots that were cut from the ending. Apparently Merced's character was lactating the black goo (which we kind of see in the final film) and before the creature killed her, it started to breastfeed. This kind of tracks with something that Merced said in an interview a while back about her filming a scene that was so disgusting and disturbing that it made the cast and crew look away, because while the birth itself could fit that description, this sounds way more ****ed up.

 

[Kane52630]

Spoiler

I read on the Alien Reddit page that there were supposedly some shots that were cut from the ending. Apparently Merced's character was lactating the black goo (which we kind of see in the final film) and before the creature killed her, it started to breastfeed. This kind of tracks with something that Merced said in an interview a while back about her filming a scene that was so disgusting and disturbing that it made the cast and crew look away, because while the birth itself could fit that description, this sounds way more ****ed up.

Yeah I immediately picked up on that and I know Fede has a longer cut of that scene. He's probably saving it for the directors cut. lol

 

[Kane52630]

Watchmen: Chapter I

I dare anyone to watch the Dr. Manhattan origins scene in this movie and not have the Pruit Igoe And Prophecies track play in your head.

Fairly decent I suppose. It's them trying to readapt the Watchmen comic again but trying to stay true to the pages even more than the Snyder version which I guess is a noble effort. I think the motion comic still works better visually in animation even though it only has one voice actor doing all the characters. I will say I thought the mixture of having 2D/3D animation didn't work at first, but it gradually won me over. As for the voice actors themselves, I thought some of them worked better than others. Mainly, I didn't care for Titus Welliver as Rorschach, Rick Wasserman as The Comedian, or Michael Cerveris as Dr. Manhatan, but Troy Baker as Ozymandias, Katee Sackhoff as Laurie, and Matthew Rhys as Dan Dreiberg worked. Also, I thought it was cool of them getting Adrienne Barbeau to play Sally Jupiter. I think some of the bland voice acting undermines a lot of the thematical heft of the story and the Snyder version has a ton of actual acting talent despite how most people feel about the movie overall. Having them split it into two chapters was a bit awkward by the time you got to the end, but I guess it was done for budgetary reasons. Overall, while I think as a movie it somehow fails to give it its humanity aside from the Dr. Manhattan origin scene, it is still visually a fairly direct adaptation of the comic which I guess counts for something.
2.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Strange Darling

Getting Giovanni Ribisi to shoot this in 35mm... great, love it... but they got not one but TWO split diopter shots in the same scene? Amazing. Incredible.

A real masterclass of crafting two halves of a story that changes the whole landscape of the story and subverts expectations and honestly, my rating of the film. It's best to go into this movie knowing as little as possible and even saying this is a movie about a serial killer is probably pushing it. It's told entirely through a non-linear format that is easy to understand and actually improves the story. JT Mollner definitely took inspiration from movies like Pulp Fiction, Memento, Barbarian, and a couple of other ones that I can't say without spoiling it, but did it in his own original style. While the first half pretty much takes you on an interesting but predictable "saw this in a genre film festival" route, the twist does completely change the trajectory of the entire movie even if you kinda saw it coming right before it happens. The second half of the movie is so fascinating, so thrilling, and so unhinged that it elevates the entire first half. It's so cool seeing Kyle Gallner get a main role like this and he was incredible in this for what he had to do. Willa Fitzgerald is someone who I have seen before but never paid attention to but this is her magnum opus performance wise. She was able to leap above and beyond for a role like this that can easily be forgettable or corny. Overall, a fantastic indie thriller that I'm sure will stir a discourse on the internet. For me it's one of the best of the year.
4.5/5

 

[Kane52630]

Blink Twice

Yeah, Tatum definitely made a name for himself here.

An obvious derivative horror/thriller that takes its inspiration from recent mainstream horror like Get Out, Midsommar, and Don't Worry Darling, but doesn't necessarily make its messaging all that original or fresh. You pretty much get the idea of what the movie is trying to say just from the trailer and it's mainly that almost the entire time. Still what the movie gets points for is the fantastic direction by Zoë Kravitz, the fast-paced editing, great sound editing, and the performances mainly from Channing Tatum, Naomi Ackie, and Adria Arjona who are pretty great in this. As far as the plot and overall themes and commentary, it just feels borrowed from other movies even from lesser ones than this one like Don't Worry Darling. While they were able to sneak in a couple of interesting surprises, especially near the end, it didn't really affect the movie overall as well as they hoped. Overall, solid thriller but it could have dug in deeper than the almost surface level commentary.
3/5