At What Point Do You Just Say 'NO'?

[SpideyVille]

We all know that one person, whether it be a friend, a family member, or someone that we see on a casual basis that always seem to come around to ask for favors. Sometimes they ask for money, sometimes they ask for your time or company, but one way or another, they always seem to want something. At some point, enough becomes enough.

The question is when do YOU reach that point where you finally decide to put your foot down and just say 'No'? Do you say something before or after doing a favor impacts you negatively in some way? Or do you just stay quiet and not say anything and continue to help that person over and over again? And does it matter what kind of relationship you have with that person?

 

[twylight]

I 'ease' out of it the first time, say I have something else I'm doing or I don't have time. I use that once or twice and then I just say 'no'. It doesn't matter the relationship.

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Instead of saying no,I just give an excuse.That way,they leave me alone about it.

 

[bullets]

My brother always NEEDS something. He's also an unappreciative dick to boot and tries to lay a guilt trip if you say NO. I've learned to pick and choose my battles. Sometimes I'll flat out refuse to help and then other times I cave in. Part of me wants to help and be there for him but it's gotten to the point where he expects it.

 

[SpideyForPrez]

I had a good friend a couple years back, a girl I met at my college dorm. Around the beginning of my senior year we suddenly stopped hanging out as often as we had. When I called her she would either not answer or give some sort of excuse. When she called me, she always wanted a favor. I put up with it for awhile, but it really began to bug me when she wouldn't even go see a movie with me. So I slowly began turning her down with my own excuses. But she kept calling for favors, so one day I told her, in a calm and level-headed way, that it really bugged me that we didn't hang out and that she only wanted favors. Her reaction was a weak apology and an excuse about being busy followed by "So is that a no on driving me to the airport?"

After that ride she stopped calling altogether. The last time I saw her was at a showing of a play I had written. I was by myself and she went with two other guys. It was pretty heart breaking and confusing that she cared to see my play but didn't care to see it with me.

Since then I've just made a habit of not advertising myself as someone who does favors. I like to people to think I'm reliable and someone they can call in a pinch, but I've made it known among my friends that I have a limit.

In conclusion I think at some point you do have to tell someone 'no'. If you do it calmly they should understand and accept it. If you lose them as a friend because of it, then they probably weren't that a great friend anyway.

 

[SpideyVille]

I had a friend at the church that I used to go to and during my first year there a bunch of us were walking around and we saw this store that had a sale of 2 suits for $125. He talked me into buying a couple of suits since I needed some. He also talked me into splitting the total with him so I would get one suit and he would get the other. The problem was he didn't have any money on him, but promised he would pay me back later on. That's when I learned he never kept his word and was always going around asking for favors. He never paid me back and I ended up spending the holidays broke because I spent all the money I had left on those suits, which was made worse by the fact that he said he didn't like the suit and threw it away a few months later.

There was this sort of unwritten rule at our church that said you couldn't ask for something back, meaning that if you let someone borrow money, it was assumed that that money was a gift and not a loan. So I never asked for it back, but I did start to avoid him more often, especially after he was trying to buy my Wii off of me for $150, when I was trying to sell it for $300 with a bunch of games included. He got mad when I told him no because he had told his girlfriend that he was going to buy her one for her birthday and was hoping to buy mine for cheap.

He still calls me every now and then but I never answer the phone or reply to his texts because he always tries to talk me into doing something for him.

 

[CelticPredator]

I got called at 4am to find a ****ed up kid who was high/drunk on weed, coke, ect....I dont know why I did it. I should'nt have. ****.

 

[Victarion]

^You should've followed him and filmed it for us.

 

[CelticPredator]

We never found him...haha. We got there, at this apartment complex, and there were cops everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Probably looking for him.

And me being half asleep, with two ****ed up kids in my car, I didnt want to risk it.

 

[Duke]

I usually say no or that i'm busy. I have a brother that likes to borrow stuff & then forgets to return them. I have a hard time getting them back. I feel a little guilty later because he's family, but it's too much of hassle later on trying to retrieve things.

 

[terry78]

When it starts hurting.

 

[Spider-Fan83]

At What Point Do You Just Say 'NO'?

unfortunately, usually far to late...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

The last company I worked I had a situation somewhat like this. I found a new job and quit, I was only able to give them a week's notice rather than the usual two weeks. It was a small company and I had a lot of tasks there, so I said I'd help out a little before and after work at my new job while they found someone else. The company was good to me, let me work remotely after I moved with my girlfriend across the country, so I felt it was the least I could do. They found someone quickly and got him up and running, however, one person still asked me for little things, things he could do himself or could have easily had the new person do. I knew this wouldn't stop unless I made sure to make it not worth his while to ask me, so I'd purposely responded to requests slowly, wouldn't put my usual effort in making things look nicer and easy to understand. I didn't want to burn bridges, but I had a new job, I wasn't getting paid for this work and they had someone to do this work, this one person just didn't want to change how things were.