Review: Battleship
BATTLESHIP
Review by Andrew Jones
Stars: Taylor Kitsch, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker, Rhianna, Alexander Skarsgård | Written by Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber | Directed by Peter Berg
They made it. The movie of the board game we all used to play. Battleship, a simple tactical game of trial and error, is now one of Universal Studios summer releases. With Liam Neeson and Rhianna in it. And somehow, at no point in the film is the line You sunk my battleship uttered. Restraint? Possibly. But when you look at the 2+hour feature, restraint is the one thing that doesnt spring to mind. Well, that and subtlety, and recession, austerity, all of that. Because Battleship wears its influences on its sleeve. And they include Transformers, the works of Michael Bay, and anything thats had a heavy dose of CGi to hide cracks in scripts in the past decade.
Taylor Kitsch is Alex Hopper, perpetual slacker, who, after a messy attempt at flirting on his birthday, is forced to join the navy with his brother, and becomes a stronger, better man. But retains his rebellious side. He now has the love of a good woman, Brooklyn Decker, who is a physician for the armed forces, and daughter of Liam Neesons Admiral, and is about to command his own ship in international war games. Only, scientists sent out some signals off the coast of Hawaii into space, and something heard it. And brought a few friends with them.
You know the deal, especially if you played the board game, its you and a few buddies in a small segment of water, with a forcefield surrounding you, and a bunch of robot alien ships that have infinitely more power than you ever will. And they must be destroyed. Just like we used to play.
In the vein of recent summer blockbuster series Transformers, Battleship hands in a blue and orange, warm skin colour, heavy CGI, grand amounts of noise, incomprehensibly plotted action picture with a lame attempt at comedy, long-winded science babble that no one cares about, some sequences in government offices as old white males shout at computer screens, and plenty of men and women in uniform running from explosions.
In fact, the only differences here are the setting, predominantly on the water, the camera work, Bergs trade-mark intensely close-up, handheld style, and a lead female character who is, goodness me, actually strong. Brooklyn Deckers Samantha may be the daughter of Liam Neeson, and as weve seen in the past that usually means lots of crying and being kidnapped, but shes an armed forces physician who doesnt take crap, especially from giant, violent aliens.
Battleship aims for big, dumb summer flick, and it certainly hits those two markers. Dialogue about Goldilocks planets, signals bounced off from them, scientists panicking and shouting at monitors, it all means nothing and becomes generic white noise and misplaced exposition, serving only to distract from the main story of Alex Hoppers ascent from slacker to Captain. Even within that story, one of the key emotional beats is completely maligned with a series of cool-looking action sequences that take away from the characters of the film reacting to whats going on, and yes there are times you can be lenient in regard to such things in big budget studio films, but when the entire film really comes down to one characters respect of another, and losing said character, it doesnt matter how big the film is, how many effects are in it, youve lost sight of the core.
And Battleship continues for 90 more minutes to be a big, loud action film whilst losing the core of the piece. There are hints of connection between Hopper and Samantha, but they spend the entire film separated and without a way of communication, so its not so important, or at least not perceived as important. In place of audience connection the film offers us set-piece after set-piece, some more successful than others, such as the actual Battleship sequence. A Titanic-esque destruction shot is surprisingly affective, however it doesnt last long as loud noise, heavy doses of CGI, a lack of spacial awareness and fast cutting take over and destroy the last remnants of goodwill an audience might have to the film.
Performance-wise, no one seems out of place, but nor does anyone do anything spectacular. Kitsch as a leading man remains charismatic but hardly investable to an audience, Rhianna plays her role like Michelle Rodriguez would, angry, trigger-happy and ready to fight. Brooklyn Decker gets the best of the film, but doesnt really do much with it, and Liam Neeson (credited: And Liam Neeson) is there to bring gravitas for the ten minutes hes around.
Battleship is a below-average summer blockbuster, clocking in about twenty minutes too long and with a script about forty pages too short, some good sequences do not a great complete film make. Peter Bergs directing style is ramped up too far, and the CGI leads the film more than any of the actors, making it a headache in cinematic form, and whilst the sequence based on the board game is fun enough, it cant withstand the 110 minutes of dreck beside it. A disappointing waste of talented folks.
Battleship is released across the UK from Wednesday 11th April.