Bought/Thought 9/17

[CaptainCanada]

Since when? I never heard of that.

July.

 

[Dread]

July.

Oh, see, I don't usually read CBR, which is why I missed it.

Sounds good, and I do agree that it would be cool if Leonard Kirk could return to that.

Now if only THE LONERS could return...

 

[BrianWilly]

ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #12:[/b] For those curious of when the first issue shipped, it was November 20th, 2005. That means it took nearly 2 years for this "monthly" maxi-series to finish.

...You mean nearly 3 years, right?

 

[CaptainCanada]

Dread's falling down on the job.

 

[Dread]

...You mean nearly 3 years, right?

Yes, I did. I will edit.

Dread's falling down on the job.

Least you know I'm human. Usually people just assume I am a typin', b****in' robot.

What I find awesome is no one replies to my reviews to agree or anything. It's either to pick out where I am wrong or complain about something.

Sheesh, now I know why writers never try to please fanboys. Y'all are impossible.

(Note the smilies; I am being playful. )

 

[Manic]

Uncanny X-Men #502
Guantanamo Bay ain't got **** on the X-Center, apparently.

This issue begins where 501 left off. Karma (who I'm glad to see back on active duty) was out looking for the dude who attacked Pixie. When the attackers (the Hellfire Cult) attempt to jump her, Wolvie and Nightcrawler pop out of nowhere and kick their asses. Since the Cult dudes keep psychic-blockers in their masks, Karma realizes she's pretty much useless in this fight, punches one of them in the face, and leaves. Logan and Kurt take one of the Cult guys as a prisoner.

This is where Cyclops crosses a line I'm really really uncomfortable with. Using Karma to read their prisoner's mind and find his worse fears (needles), Cyclops calls in a former mutant acupuncture therapist to strategically place some needles on the dude's face. Cyclops, using his visor for precision, shoots each of the needles on the guy's face, thus pushing the needles and causing him great pain. Cyclops then drills him for information.

And that, my friends, is bulls***. They just used Karma to access the man's memories to find his worst fear. Hell, Emma was in the next room. It would've taken exactly no extra effort to telepathically pull information from his mind. But NNOOOO, Cyclops wanted to spit in the eye of the Geneva Convention and torture this guy out of pure malice[/p]. It was highly immoral, and very unnecessary. Show some f***ing perspective, Brubaker & Fraction.

That scene also suffers from "Land is tracing from different sources" syndrome. At the beginning of the issue, Karma had her hair tied back. Fine, whatever. During the torture scene, we first barely see Karma standing in the shadows with hair that goes past her shoulders. Two panels later, her hair is wavy and just under shoulder-length, not to mention she stops looking Asian altogether. On the next page, she's Asian again, but her hair is suddenly flipped outward a little. *sigh*

The issue continues with Pixie getting a ride back home to Oakland, where she's staying in a warehouse with some other disaffected teens. Why that little girl is staying in Oakland, I don't know. I suppose there are more dangerous places for her to live in the Bay Area, like...
...um...

Anyway, Cyclops gathers his team for a raid on the Hellfire Cult's base, where the Red Queen is playing around with Empath's childhood crush/obsession with Emma by temporarily making herself look exactly like 11 panels ago.

Oh, and Dazzler makes her first actual appearance in this title, where she offers to make Pixie part of her act. Also, there are sparks around her all the time.

----------

X-Factor #35
Larry Stroman Must Die!

Well, the art is still eye-bleedingly bad. I seriously have no idea how Larry Stroman got signed by Marvel to be a professional penciller. His art just plain blows. You know, with Rob Liefeld, we all make fun of him because of his lack of knowledge of working human anatomy. Of course, you typically don't notice Liefeld's flaws if you're just glossing over the art and focusing on the text bubbles and whoever's talking. With Stroman, I have to struggle to tell if speech bubbles are coming out of a human face. Seriously.

Anyway, in this story, Longshot finds himself in Detroit after seeing himself (actually the Skrull) in the news, and needing to know what's going on. There are a few initial skirmishes with Guido and Ric, but that passes and Longshot proceeds to work his charm on every woman (and gay man) he meets in this issue.

One thing about this issue seemed really weird, and it was Longshot knowing who everyone was. His mind was wiped the last time he was in Mojoworld. As I understand it, he shouldn't even have recognized Dazzler when they were finally reunited. Yet he knows who everyone in X-Factor is... why?

----------

Incredible Hercules #121
When Amazons Attack... your penis.

This issue starts off with Hercules paying Namora a visit, as he tries to get in her pants. This is interrupted when the amazons attack them, then try to get into Amadeus' pants. And believe me, Amadeus isn't resisting. Especially not after being accused of being Herc's lover. Granted, Herc is a lifelong member of NAMBLA.

There appears to be a serious plot in here, as the amazons are attempting to dethrone their queen Hippolyta. They also seem to be stealing a lot of their stuff from Atlantis, which comes to the attention of a very angry Namor.

----------

X-Men First Class #16
It's been a fun couple of years, but it's almost time to say goodbye.

This is the final regular issue of First Class. After this, there will be a Giant Sized issue next month, followed by a new miniseries next year. Luckily, this was yet another fun issue.

At the X-Mansion, Bobby is tired of getting lectured by the other X-Men. At the Baxter Building, Johnny is tired of getting lectured by his family. So what happens when these two leave home and bump into each other in New York? They form the most awesomest super-team to ever walk NYC, and their rogues gallery is the coolest of them all!



I'll post the rest of my reviews later. I'm falling asleep, and my writing is starting to suffer.

 

[BrianWilly]

Not to defend NuCyclops in any manner whatsoever...but you did notice that, in the page immediately following that scene where Cyke talks to Emma, he flat-out states that he was just putting on a lightshow for effect and that their prisoner went through no more than a normal acupuncture session, right? The guy was unharmed. The only reason he was freaking out was due to his fear of needles. It's psychological torture which isn't exactly peaches and cream, but it's a bit different from what you've stated.

 

[Manic]

I thought "putting on a light show" was about the fact that they tortured him in a dark room with a spotlight on him. That doesn't exactly say Scott's torture session was any less painful, especially with the shriek the dude let out that Emma could hear from another room.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Seems to me that subjecting a guy to his absolute worst fear is about as torturous as subjecting anyone else to extreme pain...

 

[fifthfiend]

X-Men First Class #16

There was a new FC this week? Cork, how did I miss that?!

(Well actually I know exactly how I missed that, because of my natural tendency to avoid the entire X-section of the comics shop rack).

Seriously though if they're going to put XFC, Hercules, and GotG all in one week, they may as well just throw in Nova and then I don't have to give any kind of a **** about comics for the whole rest of the month.

It's been a fun couple of years, but it's almost time to say goodbye.

This is the final regular issue of First Class. After this, there will be a Giant Sized issue next month, followed by a new miniseries next year. Luckily, this was yet another fun issue.

I have nightmares where every comic becomes as good as First Class, leading to the immediate collapse of the entire American comics industry.

Thank heavens for the vast sea of awful ******** that occasionally bears gems like this aloft, if only for a little while.

 

[fifthfiend]

Seems to me that subjecting a guy to his absolute worst fear is about as torturous as subjecting anyone else to extreme pain...

Come on, what's so bad about the absolute worst thing George Orwell could think to subject his protagonist to in 1984 symbolizing the ultimate dehumanization of an omnipresent fascist state?

 

[fifthfiend]

The issue continues with Pixie getting a ride back home to Oakland, where she's staying in a warehouse with some other disaffected teens. Why that little girl is staying in Oakland, I don't know. I suppose there are more dangerous places for her to live in the Bay Area, like...
...um...

She could be staying in the nice part of Oakland? We only have armed robberies once every few days on this side of town!

 

[Mr. Green]

Seems to me that subjecting a guy to his absolute worst fear is about as torturous as subjecting anyone else to extreme pain...

Yeah, but what if your worst fear is recieving oral gratification from a super-model?

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Then the worst torture you could endure would happen to be pleasurable to most men and lesbians.

 

[BrianWilly]

I thought "putting on a light show" was about the fact that they tortured him in a dark room with a spotlight on him. That doesn't exactly say Scott's torture session was any less painful, especially with the shriek the dude let out that Emma could hear from another room.

He was definitely speaking figuratively about the light show, 'cause he says right in the next sentence that the guy was hurt no more than he would be in a regular acupuncture clinic. The Purifier/Church of Humanity Member/whateverthehellbigotofthemonth shrieked because he fears needles and think that they're hurting him much more than they actually are, which is what people who fear needles tend to think.

I'm not defending the situation, I'm just making the situation perfectly clear. It's a question of whether you think psychological torture is equatable with physical torture. And keep in mind that superheroes dangle people over heights all the time, often to illicit information, and that literally every single telepathic hero in comics make a habit of projecting worst fears into their enemies' minds whether they want it there or not. For dozens of telepaths, it's their primary ability.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

F***in' telepaths. Deplorable bastards, the whole lot of 'em.

 

[BrianWilly]

I don't think I used the word "illicit" correctly up there, now that I think about it.

 

[hippie_hunter]

After Guggenheim's rather dull start to Young X-Men, I gotta say I was pleasantly pleased with this issue. Mostly because it was nice seeing Cyclops not acting like a *****e for once.

Thankfully I read Uncanny X-Men beforehand so the torture scene didn't ruin Cyclops' moment for me

 

[TheCorpulent1]

It seems like Young X-Men suffered from a bout of bad timing. If this were pre-Messiah Complex, I think we all would've read it and thought, "No way that's the real Cyclops, he's being a total *****e." Instead, Cyclops was somewhat *****ified already, so everyone was wondering if they'd really taken him as far as Young X-Men suggested.

 

[hippie_hunter]

It seems like Young X-Men suffered from a bout of bad timing. If this were pre-Messiah Complex, I think we all would've read it and thought, "No way that's the real Cyclops, he's being a total *****e." Instead, Cyclops was somewhat *****ified already, so everyone was wondering if they'd really taken him as far as Young X-Men suggested.

Cyclops hugging Rockslide and making sure that the Young X-Men were provided for in San Fransisco made him slightly less *****ey if you ask me.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

I was referring to Pierce's impersonation of Cyclops, actually.

 

[hippie_hunter]

I was referring to Pierce's impersonation of Cyclops, actually.

I know and I completely agree with you there.

I was just simply saying that with Cyclops being completely *****ified that has led us to thinking that Cyclops appears to have gone overboard in Young X-Men has been de-*****ified by at least one-tenth of a percent in the latest issue.

 

[fifthfiend]

I don't think I used the word "illicit" correctly up there, now that I think about it.

You wanted "elicit".

It's a pretty easy pair to cross.

 

[fifthfiend]

He was definitely speaking figuratively about the light show, 'cause he says right in the next sentence that the guy was hurt no more than he would be in a regular acupuncture clinic. The Purifier/Church of Humanity Member/whateverthehellbigotofthemonth shrieked because he fears needles and think that they're hurting him much more than they actually are, which is what people who fear needles tend to think.

I'm not defending the situation, I'm just making the situation perfectly clear. It's a question of whether you think psychological torture is equatable with physical torture. And keep in mind that superheroes dangle people over heights all the time, often to illicit information, and that literally every single telepathic hero in comics make a habit of projecting worst fears into their enemies' minds whether they want it there or not. For dozens of telepaths, it's their primary ability.

True enough, but lots of heroes have inflicting various forms of violent pain as a primary ability. The difference is that such heroes usually use those abilities in open confrontations against people threatening them or others. It's when a hero starts using those abilities in locked, ill-lit rooms on people they've already rendered helpless for the deliberate purpose of inflicting suffering for an extended period of time that it becomes torture.

The dangling people over heights thing I will grant is at least a gray area. And I may even just be calling it a "gray area" because I don't want to think of Batman as a torturer.

 

[Dark Victory]

I tried numerous times to read this novel as a kid, but it was just too dense for me. When the mini-series came on TV I completely forgot to watch it. So there was definitely some enthusiasm going into this book. I don’t know much of the story, only its basic premise: There’s a viral outbreak in America and The Stand is about those who survive the plague. I’m a fan of survival horror stories and this debut issue wasted no time in getting me involved with the characters and their soon to be post-apocalyptic future.
I can’t say how faithful this is to the novel, but being a first time reader, myself, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa impressed me with his ability to introduce to an ensemble cast, quickly set the tone, and pace the spread of the of the virus. What I could have done without, however, are the character profiles at the end of the book. Seeing these instantly told me that these characters would most likely be survivors. For new readers like me this serves nothing more than to spoil the story. Bad call, Marvel.
Mike Perkins carries over the fantastic style he delivered in Captain America to The Stand. His work here is much more grounded in reality. In fact it may be too grounded in reality - there’s a few scenes that look a little too photo referenced for their own good. But all in all, this is a beautiful book that’s further accented by Laura Martin’s brilliant coloring. Unlike The Dark Tower series that Marvel’s been putting out The Stand needs no prior reading. And for that, I highly recommend it to just about anyone looking to dip their feet into Stephen King’s world. (Grade: A-)